i’ll let you drain me of all that i am.
i’ll let you use my skin as an easel.
my blood as the paint.
i’ll let you cut me apart.
use my eyes as sight seers, my lungs as the fresh air your crave.
i’ll let you run me dry,
if that’s what you asked.
if that is not utter devotion,
i’m afraid i have no definition of the word.

Je t'adore.

Et je continuerai à t'aimer jusqu'à ce que la terre cesse de tourner et que les étoiles tombent de notre ciel

and tonight i’ll ache.
for no particular reason or amount of time.
i’ll stare at the tree, clad in the soft yellow glow of christmas lights, and i’ll ache.
i’ll ache for a time i was filled with childish wishes.
for a time i would wake up earlier than dawn to open up colorfully wrapped boxes and bags.
i’ll ache for the christmas spirit of times past.
i’ll ache for me.
for a version so far gone, i can barely remember her face.

you promised me forever,
and all i got was a chapter in your book.

i love you,
more than anything.
you remind me of freshly pressed linen, or of the sunrises that cover october skies.
i love you,
every part of you.
till the end of time.
forever and always.

you’re beautifully written.
the perfect story made of angelic construction.
you’re the greatest story i’ve ever heard.
god you’re beautifully written.

mama, you know im not built for this world
i cant stand the way people talk
the way they sweat
the way their jaws pop.
mama, you know im not ready for this
yet you push me harder
you laugh at my tears
you push on my buttons
mama, i dont think i can do this
but you keep pushing me
why?

i’ve memorized your heartbeat,
i’ve let it’s sickly sweet beat flow through my ears and stick to the inside of my head.
i’ve memorized your hands,
how the creases and curves folds upon the strongest hands i’ve ever held.
i’ve memorized your lips,
the way they slowly curl and settle as you fall asleep each night.
i’ve memorized your taste,
that addicting taste that lingers on my tongue and leaves me begging for more of you.
i’ve memorized you,
and the song that is your life.

my messages shine back bright green
depicting that you have moved on
while i am sadly chained to the thought of you on my skin

your hair is winter fire,
January embers.
my heart burns there too.

you pinky promised.
you promised to keep my heart protected.
you pinky promised to heal me with you.
but here i lay, on my bestfriends bathroom floor.
my heart in shambles, my head turning in confusing spirals.
you broke your promise bubba..
i’m not your princess anymore..
am i.

i will not long for a heaven,
or some other mystical place where i will get my final rest.
i’ll wish for a place where i can stay loved.
a place i can stay loving you.

empty thoughts, filled with empty words
floating around the abyss that is my head
yet they all make sense to me,
why not anyone else

if you look up the definition of love,
a deep affection for someone or something is the result youll get.
but love is more then that,
its tears
its pain
its fighting
its screaming.
love isnt beautiful
love is a war.

i fall apart.
into tear soaked pieces on the bathroom floor.
cold and trembling.
i fall apart.
in your arms.
warm and safe.
but either way i fall apart

the sun failed to shine that day.
the ruby red roses failed to bloom
the sun failed to cast dancing shadows upon the streets
the clouds deteriorated into nothingness.
everything changed the day you left me.
and the sun still fails to shine upon my tear stricken face
abandoning the lit up the memories stored away
of simple me.

through rouge storms
and the darkest of clouds
through mighty waves
and broken wings
your light shines through to me
and makes my float into a dream.

i think a part of me will always linger by your side
waiting to hold onto your hand when we cross the street
i’m scared i’ll miss you forever

i always feared you.
your strong arms, and harsh hands
the way you towered over me and seemed to not care.
im not sure why i was scared,
if im being honest.
but i dove into you, i watched your fear and your anger
your sadness and heart ache.
and i soothed every aching muscle to reveal the most beautiful
guy i have ever known.
i now no longer fear you,
yet i fear what youll become

i hope my absence brings you the peace my love couldn’t.

Something smelled like you today.
The breeze carried your smile and your laugh straight to my sinuses and clogged them in unrequited love and whispered promises spoken in dimly lit rooms.
I had to strain against the weight of your soft kisses and tight hugs that made my knees start to give way.
The warm summer air seemed to taunt me in that moment, knowing the very scent of you could make me weak.
That it could wreck the cartilage that stood fortified in my knees and held me up so highly.
Something smelled like you today,
Or maybe it was just my senses playing a trick on me.
Either way, youre whispered in the breeze. A slowly forgotten memory.

you already know my words before i speak.
you already know my heart feels weak without you.
you already know me.
just by looking me in the eye.
and it’s beautiful

you can come home to me,
when you’re ready.
i left the gate unlocked for you

the blade sat,
buried in her moon white skin.
rivers ran, gushing their flow down the cracks and imperfections in her arms.
she sat,
the blade buried into her and with a sigh she said
"ill see you soon my love"

sometimes
i wish to be yours
the way you are mine

i need to stop setting my frail body alight
to keep you warm within my reach.
when you cant even be bothered
to hand me a blanket at night.

i wish to live forever
to live in the damp earth  
to live within the hearts of the ones i love
to live within his head.
yet i will only live for a small while,
just for a small while

youve held me in the darkest days
kissed the screams off my lips
held my shaking hands
glued the cuts on my skin

youre simply the best.
my heart and my soul
my love <3

yellow days seem to turn into black sluggish tears.
the sun seems to fade away into the black oblivion inside of my skull.
the feelings i have manifest into screaming and betrayal.
i have no end, no life.
everything’s dark and there’s no one here to save me.

stopping to stare into the whispers of a breeze,
to stare into the eyes held within the stars,
to see the faces in the trees.

home,
is within the eye of the beholder.
and for me, everything reminds me of you.
so i guess you have become my home
and my second nature

maybe ill watch every single sunset
maybe ill sit and enjoy every sound that rings within my ears
maybe ill inhale the smell of rain every time a drop hits the ground
maybe, just maybe
ill be okay

even if i were to hand you the worlds finest wine, using all of my delicacy to place it in your gentle hands.
your eyes would wear holes through them, causing the nerves to split and shake.
spilling the blood like wine all over your white pressed shirt.
yet even then, youd still love me.
and thats all that matters.

i’m flooded in love.
surrounded in promises that have made a blanket around my heart.
brought into a home made of the strongest arms.
i’m flooded in love.
and he taught me how to swim.

when will i ever be loved
be held into the early hours of the morning
be kissed with the passion of a thousand suns
be sung to with the sweetest melodies
when will i ever be loved.

you said you missed me,
that you still loved me and thought about me every day.

you said i was beautiful,
and that you missed the way my eyes lit up.

you said you’d get an apartment,
and have me over every night.

why’d you say these beautiful things,
if all these things
were just lies?

Your absence grows stronger with each passing day.

My heart aches.

you make every star explode in prefect unison.
you make the sun dull.
the rivers dry out.
the earth turn slower,
and time run wild.
you make the world seem imaginary, and its beautiful.

in my vision i saw it clearly
our hearts became one
my hand in yours as we fell asleep
a glow emitting from where our bodies touch

i stared into your eyes and declared my love for you
i felt my soul leap out of my throat
and my heart pound against my rib cage
i said i love you with all the air in my lungs
with all the marrow in my bones
i said it with all of me
and you said it back, with none of you

so now i stare at this navy blue prom dress,
hung up in my closet
and curse to myself
how could you be so stupid.

if the world was caving in and the stars were falling around us,
would you use your dying breath to say you love me.
the way i would mine.