if the world was caving in and the stars were falling around us,
would you use your dying breath to say you love me.
the way i would mine.

let’s run away to a faraway land where train tracks meet the stars
where flowers bloom in the moonlight
where trees are evergreen
where the skyline is painted pink and yellow.
let’s run away.
let’s leave behind this world full of forced smiles and fake laughs,
let’s leave the world that’s polluted with corrupt governments and unlawful laws.
let’s run away.
a place we can be free.
to be you and me.

the feeling i get when i look at you, is so overwhelming i fail to describe it. but in this poem my love, i will try.
just for you.

my dear, youre soft like summer rain.
your heart patters again the cage that is your ribs.
knock knock knocking for the right one to find you and mend your broken pieces.
my darling, youre peaceful like the ocean.
your arms hug every inch of me.
blooming flowers against my moonlit skin.
my love, youre gentle time springs wind.
your voice blows beautifully crafted cords into my ears.
drifting angels voices into my head.
my sweetheart, your comforting like the trees.
your smile brings me home each night.
allowing my heart to jump into the arms of yours.
my love the words i wish i could write to you fail me.
but i promise to one day put them all together.
just for you.

im a lonely star.
stranded in the night sky, surrounded by the dark.
burning out.
is there anybody out there?

i have monsters in my head.
i have spiders in my lungs.
i have blood clots running through my veins.
but darling your voice.
your voice fills my head with singing angels.
you plant flowers in my lungs.
you make my veins run pure gold.
you make me okay.

i have peices of you stained on me.
like rings on a wooden table
like coffee spills on white t-shirts.
youre stained on my skin, never to be washed away
never to leave.
maybe thats why im hung up on you

i sat, staring blankly into the stars of the unknown.
imagining your arms wrapped around my chest tightly, imprinting my skin with your touch.
trying to feel the remains of your lips pressed against mine as we fall deeper into lethargic slumber.
envisioning your angel sweet voice drifting through the room, only to come back to my ears in a soft and simple i love you.
and so i sit, staring blankly, wishing you were here with me.
but soon my love, soon.

I bought the legos you promised you’d build with me years ago.
Laying in the dark of your room, we promised it would be our first big set.
Built together.

I will leave the last piece off, incase you ever wish to fulfill that promise.

is there a heart still beating deep within my chest?
are there lungs that still fill up with air?
is there a brain that still fires its chemicals?
are there still bones holding me up?

am i alive?
or am i just living?

sometimes i wonder if you ever loved me, because if you did you wouldnt have left me so easily

i don’t know what it is about her..
that strikes so much jealousy within me.
maybe it’s the past, and the deeply regarded feelings you had.
maybe it’s the way she speaks to you like you’re waiting for her.
maybe it’s the way you light up when you talk about her.
maybe it’s the way you go to her for everything, and barely come to me.
theres just something about her that makes me doubt.
and i wish it wasn’t like that, i just dunno what it is about her

and once again i fell into a pile on the floor
crumbled into the lack of person i am
i have lost everything
i am nothing,
but a pile of ***** clothes on my bathroom floor.

despite all this rage,
i am still the little girl crying over her scraped knee

you put our song
in a playlist
you made for her

i stand in the bustling enviroment.
surrounded by people whoes stroies ive never heard,
never will hear.
rolling wheels and harsh voices fill the filtered air.
hushing mothers, and their crying children.
i stand in an airport, surrounded by crowds ive never known.
wishing to hear a simple story, a little tale.
to know the place i stand

i tend to get upset when people misunderstand me,
and when they cant truly read me as a human being.
but then i remember i made myself this way.
i built these walls up around my soul brick by brick.
i pulled the veil over my heart to make everyone turn away.
i am my own worst enemy

pick me up and cater to my swollen lungs.
kiss my scraped knees, and hold my shaky hands.
make me yours and heal my heart so i can heal yours.

i hope she slow dances with you, in the kitchen to the humming of the air conditioning
i hope she kisses you, with passion ran deep within her veins
i hope she sings to you, with angels in her voice and a sweet hum in her throat
i hope she loves you, with all she has

like you used to let me

i want to be the only star in your night sky,
but im just not.

the world may turn again
the breeze may whisper sweet nothings into my ears again
the flowers my bloom again
but the world will forever be dark without you holding my hand
i will never see
not without you guiding me

but life is full of goodbyes, and i guess this is mine

so long partner
till the next sunrise

and yet again,
my tears have become a sea

my parents always told me of monsters under my bed
or the ones that waited in the dark of my closet

but maybe it was me who was the monster after all

ill take all you can give and leave you empty.
ill **** all the blood out of your heart and break you apart.
im just a leech boy.

my head is pounding sorrowful rythems in the back of my head.
my heart is knocking against my ribs.
my blood is clotting in my veins.
i can feel myself dying.
but ill keep it inside

I am from empty wine glasses
From jack and coke
I am from the forgotten house on the cove
(broken down, empty, but only on the inside rather than out)
I am from great oak trees
Growing towards the sun, shading me from the harshest words
Im from Christmas dinners and alcohol scented sheets
From mom and dad
Im from the broken promises and the smashed plates
From “get out of my face” and “you need to be fixed”
Im from forced catholism and torn easter prayers
Im from the sweltering heat of the south, and the glistening waters of Italy
From pasta and fried chicken
From the harsh voice of my mother
The lack of care from my dad
From the ripped photos off the wall
From the loving arms, I always wished to receive.

goodnight pitiful world
goodnight to the one that dreaded my existence
goodnight to the one that wished me unbroken
goodnight to the one that shamed me into hiding
goodnight pitiful me,
you deserve the rest.

i long to feel what the people feel.
i want to feel the love,
the joy,
the excitement.
i want to feel the flood of emotions running through everyone’s veins.
everything but the pain,
for i already feel pain.
where did i go wrong

"Oh, love is a journey with water and stars,
with drowning air and storms of flour;
love is a clash of lightnings,
two bodies subdued by one honey."


– Pablo Neruda, "Sonnet 12"

every twist within my dna seems to be overruled with the unwanted thought of failure
every breath that expands my lungs reminds me of the mush and metal stitched into them
every word, every phrase, every epithet reminds me that i am nothing
i will not say everything is okay
when it is not.

i love you.
and all your broken parts,
all your missing pieces.
i love you for you.
so please let me heal you

i let go.
because i knew i would break you in the most beautiful of ways.
i would treat you like a princess and make everything you see around you become your castle only to rip it away from you.
i know myself more than anyone out there, so for me to sit here and say i’ll treat you okay.
is merely nothing but a lie.

i long to feel you.
not sexually, but i long to feel your chest rise and fall aganist my back
i long to feel your eyes captivate mine
i long to feel your hands grasp mine
i long for you in the most innocent of ways
i long for the late night talks
and the drowsy kisses
i long for the way you say my name in the morning
i long for you, the way you long for me.

ill stand in the middle of the road and scream your name at passing cars.
ill climb the highest of mountains to find you again.
my soul string belongs to you.
whyd you cut yours.

for it wasnt you who broke me.
the only fault found is on my own hands.
i broke myself trying to love you, not the other way around. and i do greatly apologize.

i’m going to stop trying to be the main character in your love story.
i was merely a side character,
or maybe a comic relief.
but you were always my main.
goodbye lover,
continue your story without me.

yet ill continue to spill my reservoir of love for you.
ill dump it in your darkest places,
spill it in your brightest
ill make heeping piles of hearts, broken and mended.
all for you.

I can lay awake at night, screaming for salvation.
Pleading with a lord that has never once lent me a helping hand.

I can pray, I can hope, I can wish.
God has never been my savior.
He watched me suffer in silence and still he never spoke.

My skin burns,
and im scared he may be my only chance.

Pitiful God. Pitiful me.

i need a hug
the embrace of ones strong arms
the caress of ones gentle hands
the lock of ones shoulders around me
before i crumble upon your floor
into a puddle of nothingness
i need a hug, just one

sometimes we fall onto our knees and bleed to the ones around us.
sometimes we expand our lungs with poison, for the ones we love.
sometimes we knock our own teeth out, and force a different smile.
sometimes we're human.
and thats okay.

youre drifiting
through a timeline in space, dotting the lines with your love for me, for him, for them, for her.
youre drifiting
leaving remnants of your lovers fingerprints within you
youre drifting,
just promise me you wont leave me stranded in the stars