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Dim Apr 2018
Today you look especially sad
Today you look especially thin
And I want to give you a hug
But I don’t feel my hands anymore

Today you look especially sad
Today you look especially thin
And I want to whisper words in your ears
But I don’t feel my tongue anymore

Today you look especially sad
Today you look especially thin
And I want to buy you a present
But I don’t have my money anymore

Today you look especially sad
Today you look especially thin
And I want to cheer you up
But I can’t

So I’ll poke my eyes out instead
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2018
Do not lie to me
Because I see crystal clear
And I am begging you to say
The phrase I need to hear

Those magic heavy words
Would make my reality live
This precious fleeting gift
Could be the one you give

Though life and love hurt
The pain feels good
Slices old wounds open
Once more like it should

I am done with tears
And over-dissection
No more obsessing
Over beauty and perfection

With nowhere to run
I am floating in a freeze
I am trapped in a body
No one else sees
An old one back when all i wanted was to lose weight
Amanda Kay Burke Apr 2018
Ignore my tired gait and red rims
The hint of discolor on my pale skin
The mirror exposes naked sin
The pain behind my forced grin
This battle I will never win
The unending struggle to be thin
I used to hate my body and went through a phase where i would throw up after eating and I was using unhealthy methods to try and lose weight. Now I am a trim 103 and i miss having ***** and a ****. I wish i could slap 135 lb me in the face because although i had some chub i would much rather go back to that then be skin and bones like i am now, although only being 5'2 i look alright.
Meg Howell Mar 2018
Staring through a frosted window
At a girl that is paper thin
Heart on her sleeve, chained to a pen
Crimson blood poured onto paper
Forming words out of alphabet soup
She cannot decide, she cannot choose
The words form themselves
Whether she’s happy with them or not
ah, tis in regard to praise worthy of zee
sylph van halen wondrous sigh door house
   where boot LIX ******* ruled thee,
this missive (fertilized ova byproduct),
   sans newly wedded whoopie
between n betwixt carnal existence
   involving stiff joint courtesy of randy
(loch ness hike hood only imagine)

   engendered pleasurable scree
ming, when enfilade eruption occurred
   sans papa's engorged tree
into verdant valley shaped like miniature "v"
when bare naked lady n beastie boy - with re:
tractable shaped magic flute
   mountebank upon late
   (then young) mum when she

acquiesced bing dominated
   during **** version with glee
  club (prickly ***** per papa)
   unplanned romp or x game of thrones
  whereby rampant animal urge beckoned to free
flagellates searching mini verdant zyder zee

which warm fuzzy i.e. cop u lay shun
   nine months later with meself as baby
baked to imp perfection second to none
   this futre puff daddy slated
   tubby conceived via *** pistol gun
in tandem with mull ate mum,
   who cavorted in naked fun
   begat word **** as second brood ding bun
in the oven o me late mum...
   gone against desire tool heave anon!
------------------------------------
(long prose and poetry my atypical mode at introducing myself).

How apropos and divine to stumble (merely by happenstance) across a chance to claim my (virtual) fifteen minute fragments of fame just in the click and nick of time.  

Although gainfully unemployed (do to a series of unfortunate events that now finds me receiving social security disability), I can still vividly visualize utter despair and vouchsafe to acquire the requisite trappings emblematic of psychic misfortune.

Indelible, permanent and unfading abysmal damaging domestic dynamics got etched deep upon the memory of this erstwhile individual! The general gist in the form of quick brush strokes (namely written) of psychologically traumatizing recollection now follows.

I can attest to malevolent mean-spirited objections by my father (and late mother) in regard to my grossly unacceptable attire, deportment and work ethic.

Nonetheless, a sense of righteous vindictiveness manifested itself thru attendant Pyrrhic victories.

Back in those days I (a grown adult male and considerably past the age of rebelling against authoritarianism, and their only not so prodigal heir hiss son) poorly wore mantle and staff of supposed maturity.

Lack of compliance and obeisance with regulations and rules of Harris household (mainly thru being in constant denial to conform, maintaining emotional detachment and estrangement and evincing little or no concern for family members) brewed, festered and lied dormant during prepubescence.

The pressure and tension between and betwixt genetic kinfolk (so palpable one could sense an indomitable barrier), would rank as successfully dysfunctional way before such nom de guerre became in vogue.

Fury and wrath became markedly and noticeably pronounced once exiting the storied four walls of high school.

The venomous barrage and fusillade spewed forth from off parental tongues at an exponential rate and on a par to feeling the stinging cudgel of a horsewhip.

Out of fear and timidity, I consequently and silently absorbed cruel treatment.

Neither the eldest nor youngest sibling bore witness against the tender spirit of their only brother.

A façade as hardened (statue) conveniently adopted.

This embodiment poorly served to fend off onslaught of incessant anger.

This defense mechanism (identified as passive aggressive by mom) offered  minuscule protection as I mentally dodged lobbed insults and affected defiance (in league like poisoned bards and daggers hurled) of said threats and ultimatums.

No matter these bitter pills of blaring character assassination (mine), denunciations, fulminations, incrimination's, intimidation's, vociferous vocalizations (by said parents), I stood my ground at played the deaf mute, which repression and internalization of emotional maelstrom only caused self contamination and manifestation of humiliation.

They (dad and mom) became further angered and inflamed per my total oblivious stance! This reaction added insult to injury.

Deliverance (minus dueling banjos) per tough love lessons amplified to the tune of additional feats at becoming excoriated, ranted and raved against this, that and the other of my habits and nonchalant indifference to pursue work.

Those involuntary, unrehearsed and vicious family chats happened to be replete with heavily exploding and uncorked anger.

That (of course) would be a considerable understatement!

Dad (the de facto, elected and nominal spokesperson for unpleasant chest thumping exclamations, (which conveniently took place no earlier than the stroke of midnight) - emphatically swore (adrip with dramatic livid rage - like rabid beast) all manner of **** vulgarity and demanded from this insolent appearing male offspring immediate compliance.

Defiance and fatigue offered him predictable and usual blank stare upon hearing the kind and lenient sentence to pack bags and GET OUT!  

With dreaded approach of dire and sealed fate (played out in this over active imagination of mine with dad and mom egregiously fiendishly, grotesquely expunged themselves of any last vestige personal emotional belonging), I anxiously bided my time.

Those next couple weeks forced self-evaluation of Atheism.

The recurrent consideration of relinquishing nonestablishmentarian paradigm in favor and lieu with God, miracles and salvation seemed to clash being liberal thinker.

As indicated, the tempest and tirade quickly got turned back upon those who so masterfully tormented this second born, whose steadfast stoicism and subservience to a higher power perchance brought a temporary respite.

That deadline (which happened to be just one of many similar sputtering swearing fulminations, salacious ultimatums valuations of love) blithely came and went without incident - no matter expletive filled intense oath to remove) continued to keep pull to remain an occupant with kinfolk.

What caused especial ire and wrath to fester (per apparent ambivalence, indifference and nonchalance for me to take any job - even shoveling **** - particularly within emotional bedrock and firmament of deceased mother) constituted remembrance and vivid reminder of her father.

My maternal grandfather (Morris Kuritsky) supposedly never paid much heed to regular and steady employment (to support his four children and wife) despite his skill as a swift tailor. Hence my mother (Harriet) grew up and lived in utter destitution and poverty.

Mother subsequently reacted with ferocious vindictiveness upon witnessing a near magic transformation of near identical behavior in Matthew - the single heir to the family name.
---------------------------------------
...from this middle and sole son harris progeny
who willingly shared hoop - ping equal play zure
   arose from wading thru verbiage of letters abc...
...xyz
in various combinations he
arranges/arranged foe his passion to be
somewhat liter aery.


your prerogative, to message or email
(hay4four@aol.com) typed
   back what ever impulse            
juiced where ever spools create poetic strand
asper fingers comprising specific black keys land
to react inspires with nuttin grand
viz **** sapiens
   pearl jam chrome once canned
gene net tick trader joe brand.

postscript: a dream to wit ness
mine current high school senior
   a name y'all never guess
to make the entrance grade for university of penn
   after the truckload of application material
   someone or many doze *****!

http://about.me/matthewscott.harris
ClawedBeauty101 Feb 2018
Look into my eyes...
I promise you this adorableness is a disguise

Look at me...
I'm small, thin, fragile, and weary

You could call it fur, what surrounds my face...
A brown thin curtain covers me, a soft lace

My eyes will fool you
A cat with two different colored jewels, this trait goes to few

Yes... I have many traits
That makes you think of me as a kitten... but just wait

But you must be warned
I may look like an easy catch to hold and cuddle, but many skins have been torn.

You may only see cute soft gentle paws
But remember... This Kitten Has Claws...
An adorable kitten sneeze will trick your minds
Into thinking there is nothing strong nor hard inside

A comforting purr may sweep you off your feet
But I will speak through the cursing of a hiss, my fangs have a fleet

I thirst to fight, to take on the battle with other warriors by my side
I refuse to simply let the wind sway my whiskers and tail away from this tense tide

My Commander... Tell me to take my place... I'll use my weapons for you...
My fangs to speak your truth, my claws to protect those who can't. I wish to do more...more for you...

Cat Lynn ///
Sunday, 2/18/18
Karisa Brown Feb 2018
If you only knew
The power I had
Over you

ADDICTION

If you hear
The verses
Wrap soft
Around your head

POET

Just in case
Someone hasn't
Told you
I'm taken

PURSUIT...

INTENTTION

To take half
Of what you've given me
And more from
What I'm making

KICK HABBIT

Do not feel defeat
Fear defeat
Look at it
Stab it
And say, "Here want some?"

Loose Change

Just another
Pent up broken game
Of why brothers
Can't play
White folks way

Wait we over
That trip
Or was we
Yeah anyway!

Just playin, lol
Y'all have a great day!
Jaz Feb 2018
I don't know how to explain
   what the hunger does to me
             but I can try

The hunger pains are an addiction
       without them
I am l o s t

I'm nothing without them
       I'm nothing without the control
I want
       nothing but beauty

Trying to be strong
it hurts
Eating
it hurts
Your disapproval
******* hurts

Be happy for me
I found my happy place

isn't that what you wanted?
Tatiana Jan 2018
The distinctive crack of shifting ice
echos in fearful ears
and time seems to stand still.
A graceful dark mass nears
then stills as much as you.

Eyes follow the near invisible crack
that zig zags its danger
to shift weight would be insane.
Lock eyes with the shadow stranger
are they there to help you?

The cracking ice sound silenced
the song of warming nature
and nothing could be heard.
The shadow lacks temperature
and you've always lacked patience.

There's water pooling from warmth
walking on ice in such weather
is a poor decision at best.
A shadow weighs less than a feather
while you weigh like many rocks.

Waiting for night to freeze again
is too long of a tempestuous wait
so slide your feet and your mass.
The shadow watches you aggravate
the ice so much that it breaks.

The ice breaks more as you struggle
but you were too far out
the nature remains silent.
The shadow lingers as you shout
and even after the sounds stop.

Time passes and the silence leaves
nature's voices echo contagiously
the lingering shadow hovers.
It reaches for the water shamelessly
pulling at the tragedy so patiently.

And out it pulls a shadow
of who you used to be.
Both float away from the ice
and dissipate in the trees.
Don't walk on thin ice
sarah Jan 2018
each day goes by
and nothing changes
we’re holding on to
something that isn’t there
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