imagine the day you
find someone and,
enthralled with them,
you cater to their every wish.
slowly, they demand you change the core
of your very own heart
and soul.
and after you have
transformed
so radically,
that your reflection is
unjustifiably unrecognizable,
they get up and they just
*******
leave,
and
you are left
in a foreign expanse
of a space that you once knew
like the back of your hand.
~imagine that day, and promise yourself it will never come~

Take a walk through my head
Listen to my thoughts
Spend a day in my shoes
You'd start drinking
Smoking
*******
Anything to make it stop

As the last tune finally escapes the sparrows throat

The echo is stronger than the original breathing note

Depressing that we can only acknowledge that with time

And to only give praise to them who are sitting in Charon's boat

Don't talk to me about your love,
I've never seen a drop of it.
Don't talk to me about the climb,
I'll never reach the top of it.
Don't talk to me about the flowers
You've been prattling on for ****** hours!
Don't talk to me as if I don't know
That "rain will make the flowers grow".

Don't talk to me about your dance
I don't even have a dress.
Don't talk to me about your friends
I beg of you, give it a rest!
Don't talk to me about the sky
Mine has only ever been gray.
And if you try to talk about "healing"
I'll MAKE you go away!

This whole world that you create,
It's gorgeous, I must say it's great:
A beautiful cake on a pretty plate.
Welp, guess that means I'm second-rate!
Your poems are all meant to titillate
You titter and twitter and domesticate
These themes that even optimists could hate
I'll never be able to felicitate
You enough for the work that you narrate.
My morbid tones you must negate,
And to fix my soul: eviscerate!

Tired eyes, barely open,
Can you see me?
Standing there,
My eyes locked on nowhere,
Unnoticed, not even a glance,
Left to my own misery,
Can you help set me free?

No, you don't even look at me,
No, you don't even know when I'm gone,
You won't ever know,
You won't ever know,
When I fade away...

- Jay M
October 16th, 2018

I hate when the my thoughts go there
And I sit and stare
I hate when I get tempted to do that
And I do and regret
I hate when I do not feel content
As I  haven't  lived a sad life.
I hate when I do not know what I resent
But that feeling controls my life
I hate to see that I am not what I wanted to be

After his exit from my heart and my life
No contact no text nothing from his side
Suddenly met him after so long
My heart skipped a beat when I hugged him a long
My hands trembled when I held his hand and looked into his eyes
I got frozen when I looked him just tears rolled down from my moist eyes
Heart asked; so what did you come back with
I replied; his fragrance in me

You can find yourself again.
Don’t give up.