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Caterina Correia Aug 2018
This is what I choose
So dont make me change my mind
This is how I want to live
So dont pressure me to move away from memories
Dont question me
I dont reveal,
So then you cant comment
Dont talk behind my back
I have ways of finding out
I know you look at my face
I know you watch how I act
I know you hear things
I know you try to help
I know you want to know everything
Everyone needs to stop
Everyone needs to relax
Everyone needs to step back
Everyone needs to mind their own business
Everyone needs to stop asking
Everyone needs to shut the **** up
Dont be surprised
Because you will never see me the same again
Dont be shocked
Because this is how Ive changed
Dont make things worse
Because I will get worse
Dont pretend you know everything
Because you havent spoken to me
Dont try to change my life
Because nothing good will come out of it
Allow me to do my own things
Allow me to make my mistakes
Allow me to be alone
Allow me to figure things out
Dont try to force out the depression within me
Dont try to force out the anger within me
Dont try to force out the quietness within me
Dont try to force out the stress within me
Dont try to force out the stranger within me
Dont try to replace the depression with happiness
Dont try to replace the anger with relaxation
Dont try to replace the quietness with noise
Dont try to replace the stress with ease
Dont try to replace the stranger with who I used to be;
Because you will never see my old spirit again.
Listen to my voice.
Listen to my tone.
Listen to ME.
Ive had it;
And I dont want to repeat myself anymore.
Everyone;
& everything is making **** so much worse.
& I just want to be left alone.
Im not ready to talk
Im not ready to decide
Im not ready to communicate
Im not ready to move on
Stay away from my problems
Stay away from what I do
Stay away from what you heard
Stay away from who Ive become
Everyone just understand;
I dont wanna hear it anymore.
Everyone just understand;
I dont wanna fight anymore.
Everyone just understand;
I dont wanna hear **** behind my back anymore.
Everyone just understand;
I dont wanna be pressured anymore
Everyone just understand;
I dont wanna repeat myself anymore.
Everyone understand;
Leave me the **** alone.
m  Jan 2018
i-
m Jan 2018
i-
i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you i dont need you

i-

****
Erica Apr 2019
but
...
im scared i already have fallen for you
kiwi
the amount of times ive almost told you
i love you
god but your hugs
****...
if you dont want me to get attached
dont hug me like it matters
dont hug me so tight that it makes me wanna cry when we let go
dont hug me like you love me too
dont hug me like you care
dont do cute wholesome **** like wiping my mascara as it runs while we shower together
dont be so sweet and pull on my heart strings
dont cuddle me sweetly after ***
dont kiss the top of my head when we hug for a while
dont kiss my cheek
dont hold my hand while we ****
dont tell me how much you miss me
but most of all dont act like you dont feel something too
dont act like you could just lay there and sleep while we cuddle
when you say 'this is just for the human affection and attention...deal?'
Poet Apr 2
you cried and cried and thought nobody cared
you think you’ve stopped trying
but
     i
      can
           hear
                  it
                    in
                       your
                               words
                                                      you haven’t
they ripped at your seams
singed your soul
and you thought it was natural
its not
its not natural to hate
yes there may be shadows lurking in this deep dark world
but thats because you have a light
     i
      can
           hear
                  it
                    in
                       your
                               words
the monsters are selfish creatures
they only lift you to the light to dim your fight
to make you give up
because even they know that on the other side where the monsters cant roam
there isnt a single sliver of darkness

you think we all see what you see
but we cant
you see yourself through a hall of broken mirrors
what WE see is beauty
we see survival
we see a soul full of life
one that has it locked away deep inside
but not deep enough
because
     i
      can
           hear
                  it
                    in
                       your
                               words
we all have secrets
they never need to be said
dont force it
scream
but dont hate yourself
from all ive seen
its impossible
when you stare into shattered glass
you see all of you
you’re the stunning reflection
not the jagged edges
those edges were what cut you in the first place
and that, you will never be
     i
      can
           hear
                  it
                    in
                       your
                               words
you dont need a happy strategy
you dont need to cry in the dark
the dark doesnt deserve your tears
nor the earth your effort in a smile

you may not see it but there is everything to live for
live for YOUR smile
you think they’ve taken it
but thats one of the things you dont get to give away
it stays with you
they WANT your tears
so give them your smiles [they hate them]

YOU are the only one that wants it
people care [but for some reason you cant see it]

you dont have to smile when they do
you aren’t a mirror
you are a PERSON

SPEAK all you want
im listening
HURT could never come again if you didnt CARE
who CARES if they dont CARE
they
can
go
to
h e  l   l

you                 |          dont
are                   |         put
not                   |        yourself
broken             |        so low

he left out the sunshine because you found a way to make your own
he didnt brush away the storm clouds because he knew you could tame the lightning
you werent finnished halfway
you were his greatest masterpiece

no one can ruin you
cant you see the point
only you can let them do it
only you can leave them behind
dont look back
dont beg
its what they want
its a twisted high they love
they love to play perfect family
picture perfect expensive things
they love it when you say nothing
thats when theyre safe
never say nothing
let people know
i know we think its rare but there are so many with a heart of gold
dont plaster on a smile
let the angels see your tears
though angels and demons wear the same masks
not all that wear a mask are evil
dont take the easy road
take the narrow path
take the high road
it makes you better
than the monsters that lurk
the ones who say you dont matter
the ones who say your feelings arent real
you are a genius
worthy
deserving
beautiful
if you will belive them
then give me that courtesy too
belive me

the chains you think surround you are made of glass
one yank and they’ll be gone
the ones around your soul tighten with your tears and loosen with a true smile
the fist feeds on salty tears
dont let it clamp down on your heart any tighter

if i had one minute
id give it to you
but you dont need the minute
im sure they loved you
the picture frame may be broken but the people inside stay the same

that stupid black truck with silver accents is a ghost
one you can walk through
it cant touch you anymore
and you will never shed another tear for it

though your fingers tremble
it shows there is blood in your veins
pumping faster than ever
you want to survive
your soul just hasent realize it yet

punch it all into your skin
the mediocre middle
and crisis averting end
but dont cover up your scars
let them be the rough beginning
let yourself
laugh
love
learn
everyday
let it be the bad days you write about
not the good ones
let the good ones be the normal
the ones where you see green eyes
pink noses
and silky black tails

BE a people pleaser
make others happy in places where you couldnt be
but you can BE a people pleaser without letting them take advantage
besides if they hurt you
why would you want to be on that bandwagon

grow
out
your
nails
and NEVER let them scream at you
NEVER let them see you bleed
NEVER let them break you
NEVER stop gluing the pieces back together
those pieces were forged in titanium
thats why they can only fracture
you’re
too
strong
too stong to continue the cycle
the fear of it bleeds through your words
thats how i know you wont
you’re too scared of it

you are:
beautiful
              belive me
                             your soul is
worth it ALL
                     belive me
                                     all the gold in the world                                                      
seen
­      belive me
                     because, because of you i feel seen too
perfect
           belive me
                           and not despite your flaws
                           but because of them

put down the smoke
it makes your lungs as black as their hearts
put down her bony wrists
everyone is perfect in their own perfect way
why go through life thinking
it could be worse?
thats the manipulation talking
its all a step bellow the barrest of minimums
its diabolical

dont act
the world may not deserve it but it would love to see you
let the pain out but dont slice it open
coerce it out so it never returns
get closure

never try to fit a mold, lovely
someday youll be the color somebody needs to complete their painting

you never need to hide the scars
you never need to bleed
you can control how you deal
but please
never let yourself bleed
and let your inner voice shut the hell up
because only the bad ones leave
the good ones will stay until you push them away
to Lyle

— The End —