Am I ready to restart?
Really ready to leave it all behind?
Just the people, or the places too?
If the memories hurt this bad,
Would reviving the pieces pain me even more?
I don’t know if I could stand,
Another rejection to send me sulking in reflection.
I hurt myself too much on my own.
Even after you apologized,
I was still lost on how to act alone.
You taught me to love creating past myself,
Now is there anyway to find that once again?
I feel bad for leaving what made me.
But then again, I hate who I am.

Why should I apologize for the monster i've become?
They never apologized for making me this way.

It’s far more difficult
Than I expected it to be.
It takes a lot out of me,
It really does.
And I’m sorry it does this
To you
And to me
But mostly to you.
You deserve better than this
And I know it’s my fault.

But that’s relative

i broke me
my soul
i hurt myself
again
no one to blame
just me
and the whispers inside
dear self,
i tore you
i’m sorry,

as i walk upon this ground—
your ground,
i suddenly miss you,
my native brothers.

the oak trees twist and turn
signaling the return of my soul
and the loss of yours

on behalf of my kind, i truly apologize
we stole your land
and murdered you all

your statement was right—
no one can own the Earth.
we have tried,
and look where it brought us.

now we are burning up
at the expense of prosperity
and sacrificing longevity

native american blood
flows deeper, beyond fossil fuels
underneath the fracking
there’s truth buried somewhere

i can feel it, i definitely can
i wish i could scream to everyone,
“they were right!”

i wish i could scream to everyone
i wish i could bleed myself
to show them what we have lost...
to show them who you have lost.

native american blood
dries and coagulates accordingly
to our war rules

native american blood
flows no longer
stagnant in our marginalized hearts

native american truth
was our last hope