Past
Present
Future
All mixed up in that first hit.  
I didn't know it felt this way
And no one prepared me
But god was it confusing
How I couldn't tell if you were actually with me.  
I couldn't tell what time it was and my head felt really dizzy.  
I couldn't put together words because I was focusing on you
On who you were.  
How you felt.  
So I wouldn't panic.  
My first hit
And it leaves me wanting to feel lost again.

Every time I drink from that bottle you gave me,
I think of you
Every time I meet someone with your name,
I think of you
Every time I look at yearbooks,
I think of you

Every time I talk with my friends,
I think of you
Every time your best friend texts me,
I think of you
Every time I try to move on,
I still think of you

I look upon the dark sky,
when I'm alone
And in my own room,
Tears start to roll down

Not because I'm happy
Not because I'm sad
Not because I'm stressed
I just feel something is missing

I don't feel lonely
I don't feel depressed
But there's this feeling inside
That I cant seem to explain

I want to be sad
I want to feel lonely
I want to be depressed

I yearn the feeling of depression
I miss crying my heart out.
Now I really think,
I'm addicted to sadness…

He leans back in a rusting fold out chair,
Resting his eyes from the burn of yellow light,
Illuminating the cracked concrete floor.
He places a glowing cigarette between his lips,
Brushing his stained hands against the scruff of his beard.
He exhales,
And white puffs of smoke float out of his lungs,
Into the darkness of the night.
Swarms of ants circle like a storm around sticky spilt beer on the ground.
The panels across the walls shake,
As Jimmy Buffet’s voice blares from the radio,
An echoing voice inside his head.
The green light emitted from the radio reads 4:09 am,
Every inhale tastes like the irresistible stench of gasoline,
Destructive, yet consuming.
The fridge buzzes like white noise,
Blending into the sound of chirping crickets and rain.
The sticky summer air wraps itself around his skin.
A glass rests on the counter, filled to the brim.
The bubbles dance, tempting him.

She thought the distance could help her take a step back, but she still watches herself cry.

I love people like they’re gods.

With an offering at my side,
What do you want me to do while I am begging,
And you give me silent air?

When I want breathes, I stay home
And hold my sins in my lungs,
And count the seconds I am alive with dragged nails on skin.
This is why I can’t keep them long enough to draw blood.

I go to church for screams.
I go to let my heart beat in the hands of the Father.
Run me ragged, I want to have a use again.
Take my spirit, my soul and have me wonder if it’s one and the same.

To have him hold my body down and rip the sin out
If some should stay, I’d rather you leave me nothing.

Why am I a bug trapped to this Holy Bible?
Dust particles floating like flies,
Maybe this time you’ll make a sound.

And call for me.

Open the gates and I could be starving
And I could be gone to the world
And I’ll still tell you I miss you and I love you forever

Because people have left so much, the only word I know is stay
And they have so much left to say, the only word they know is sorry.