This heart is
Beating me to death every day
Leaving me with barely a word to say
Trapped in a tiny cage it shall stay
My mind in one of its own

Sitting in a dark room
Lookin' up into the gloom
Taking a blast
Into memories of the past

I'm addicted
To running
Heart gunning
Out of my mind
To possibly find
Some way out of this
Nightmare I'm walking

Sleep is freedom
And freedom is weighed
Shackles at the exits
A kick in the ***
Get up

Day in and
Day out
It's the same old ****
Take another hit
To the chest
Just to remember
That you're alive

I'm addicted
To running
Heart gunning
Out of my mind
To possibly find
Some way out of this
Nightmare I'm walking

Smacked to the concrete
Down in defeat
Crawling, twitching like a bug

Skull devouring
Never quite full
Information keeps slippin'
Fallin' away
Like all the words I try to say

I'm addicted
To finding another way
Out of this insanity
Oh, what a calamity!

It's not over yet
Book isn't closed
Game still has levels left
Towering over
Undefeated
One player here
Looks like it's me
But the date's from last week

Smacked to the concrete
Down in defeat
Crawlin', twitchin' like a bug

Words are haunting me
Cutting, cutting like a knife
Buzzing around like a bee

I'm addicted
To hiding it all away
What's there to say?
That I made the mistake,
That I ******* it up?
At least I'm not fake,
And can own up to my own ****

I'm addicted to the games that I play
Put on the show
And nobody could know
Well, until you wind up in hell
And pry open like a **** clam

Words pouring like drops of rain
Telling tales of my love and my pain
There's nothing to gain
But maybe relief of release
From my brain to the page
The page to the screen.

- Jay M
September 10th, 2020

“𝑺𝒐 𝒘𝒉𝒚 𝒅𝒐 𝒊𝒕?”
𝘢 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘴𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘻𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴,
𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘣𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘯
“Can’t you see?
The smoke is intoxicating.”