I'm just so addicted to the feeling of feeling. Of wishing for something more because this can't be it. I want fireworks, smiles that stops the heart, the softest touch of your hand against my waist, explosions and gasps saying all that our mouths can't say when we're breathing in each other. I want a love that you can really feel, that you can touch. I want eyes talking, staring hungrily at me like they just can't have enough. Kisses adoring every inch of my body and you grabbing my hips because you just need me closer to you. I want that. Even if it's just in my head, I want it. So I stay dreaming all my awaken time, knocking me over to feel something more than this nothingness, turning me inside out to find a new angle where I might meet you. Through movies, books, even my own texts. Because I need to feel it to soften this longing. I need to feel like there's something more waiting for me than just these ordinary emotions, this neutral life.

Why am I like this

I’m attracted to poison

If it could hurt me, I want it

I’ll crave it

Desire will burn in my veins

Because I need it

Something deadly

Something toxic in my blood

Just... just let me try it...

When are they gonna break away
Or when are they going to die
Did I miss what society had to say
Should I have just turned the same way

We all think we can beat the odds
Some hadn’t even placed a single bet
Am I the only one, that listened to me and not them
This life’s too simple, to be ruined by an honest mistake

So wake up children who choose white laced candy
When their night’s start, just as the sun begins to wake
You can't even chat, face to face, that’s not very dandy
Just admit, you have a problem, it’s with your addiction

Find the sun as it rises to bake
Burning ever so slightly, enough to open your eyes
Then, just take a **** good hard look at yourself
Beyond that pale face and those awful lies

Who’s face do you look at in the mirror
Can you see the real you, hidden amongst the cracks
It could take you a lifetime to show your true self
Getting back on track, hopefully then, you’ll reappear

Maybe you'll come back down to earth
There's still plenty of hope and dreams to fulfil
Demons deep inside, know they can’t live in this paradise
In the end, it’s up to you, don’t let this be your very last meal

So wake up children, who choose white laced candy
When their night’s start, just as the sun begins to wake
You even fear chat, face to face, that’s not very dandy
Just admit, you have a problem, it’s with your addiction

Find the sun as it rises to bake
Burning ever so slightly, enough to open your eyes
Oh, just take a good hard honest look at yourself
Beyond your pale face and all of your lies.

i live in a constant state
of ignoring deadlines
and instead taking my due dates
with poetry

every excursion leaves me thinking
what a day, what a night
what a thought, what a line
what a moment.

what if i use this or that rhyme?
i find it sublime, i have lost track
of time, but found me in spaces
carved out between lines
the moments between thought
of whats next in my mind
what word would be one of a sort?
i assort them -

they advance. i am weak,
they assemble. these words a worthy match for me
win me over - i rage no war
just wave my flag, surrender once more
we have done this before, a repeat, i am familiar
i know better, but i am a word *****.
self control is out the door
and i let him walk. i hope he runs far away
so my words and i can stew a bit longer.
i don't want it to end. i am tired of talking in numbers.
i am tired of making sense. i just want to play.
lets have a word day. or two, or three, or five.
i can multiply words if you give me the chance
professor, accept my submittance. my poems provide
no wrong answers. no prompt, sit and listen.
maybe its your turn.

She was the ****, I was the crystal
addicted to each other the moment
                                              we meet.

But every high has a come down,
                I'm the ***** needle..

She was the spoon, warming up on
               another's sleeve.

Tided tightly ready to overdose on her.

                     She was the chemical bliss
that could  be taken anywhere,  



                                         I thought...
that we were something special.

But I was used,
                      discarded.

I was useless to her, as I was unable
         to pierce the vein..

Used to many times.

So she found another way to find
              a way to make her self higher

than she was with me.

Now I'm in a come down

rehabilitated
                   and I'm struggling.

Beauty, like ice voice
Our foot betrays, no choice

Who can walk on sweetness
Slippery track meetness

Satisfied with the elegance surface
Quickly skid on the face

I saw the dangers for a mile
That I cannot avoid in awhile

But I always drawn to it
I can't get enough from it

Forgive me for my misdeed
I am just a beauty addicted

you are so sweet
yet so bad for me

you taste so secretive
so deliciously mine
but you're only a recipe
for a broken heart

no matter how many times
i put you on my tongue
you drench it in your savoury promises
that you'll never keep
leaving me empty
with desire

and somehow, i can never say

'no'

I say good bye to you one last time
but I know it won't be the last
because I'm addicted to you
and I'll be back for more.