I believe in your victory.
And when that day comes
I will be able to sleep
At ease
Knowing you are free.

I am nothing
next
to you.

"January 27, 2009

feel like
I gotta get some stuff outta my soul
there's a lot on my heart
but aye,
the trouble 'ere is
where to turn
when you can barely
put these thoughts into words?

I need a best friend."

Oh, old reliable soul.
who knew a year later I would still be fighting the same things?

if I had gotten what I wanted
what would be the consequences?
Would they outweigh the joys?

My dreams tend to overtake me at inopportune times

So I pose the thought to myself
“Is this a blessing, or a curse?”

Scratching my head,
all the time.
Thought I could honestly make it on my own,
with everything,
I feel like all my feelings are how they really are meant to feel like.

But.
There’s always You.
You won’t let me get away with this.
And I’m kinda happy about it,
as much as I wanna do my own thing.

Ive always been able to break free
but my strength
is slowly
receding.

What I wouldn’t give to reach that one place I dream of...

Those are bold claims indeed
To say that about someone
who knows not now to love
seems like a tall tale.
I should be excluded out of the equation.
What does it even take for me
to be equally treating people right?
I have loved you more than I usually love people,
but please,
I only wish I could aim that
towards every last soul
in my life.

Im sorry I don’t
give the ones closest to me
their deserved love
Above everyone elses.

You come first.

And for that I am exceedingly sorry.

This, frankly will not fly.

"I'd become what I've always hated, when I was with you then."

You can’t pretend to care
You can only try
To suppress
How much caring
There really is
Inside..

The kids don’t cry anymore.