STUCK
-WITH YOU,
AND
-YOU’RE,
STUCK
-WITH ME,
AND
I’M,
STUCK
-WITH THEM.

STUCK ON
-THAT WORD,
STUCK ON
-THAT LINE,
STUCK
- IN
A RUT,
STUCK.

STUCK,
AND
NEED MORE,
-TIME.

STUCK
WITH
YOU,
FOR THIS,
TIME,
SO
YOUR,
STUCK
WITH
ME,
FOR THAT
TIME.

AND
THEY ARE
STUCK
IN THE MIDDLE
OF
THEIR LOVE.

STUCK IN/BY
THE/THIS LOVE,
FROM YOU,

MAYBE
BECAUSE,
IT’S NOT
GIVEN,
BY ME,
OR
BY
YOU,
OR,
BECAUSE
OF THEM,
OR
JUST BEING,
- UNSURE,

WHY HAS
IT
BECOME,
SO
-STUCK
LIKE THIS?

IT’S
UP,
TO BOTH, (PARTIES)
OF US,
TO,
FIND,
A WAY,
TO
BECOME,
-UN STUCK.

ONLY,
US TWO,
CAN,
WORK OUT,
THE WAY,
TO STAY,
-UN STUCK.

TO DO
THIS,
YOU
WILL NEED,
TO,
OPEN UP,
THAT
COMMUNICATION,
AND,
FIND,
A WAY,
TO COMPROMISE,
AND,
SATISFY,
EACH OTHER’S,
NEEDS,
SO THAT,
YOU WILL (BOTH)
NO LONGER,
IN FUTURE,
AGAIN,
BECOME….

-STUCK
© By HF-Whisper
7/2/2021 23:26-23/02/2021

Stuck.
You're stuck.
So that must mean I am too.
I don't want to be stuck.
My love for you grows
More and more each day.
But I can never stay stuck.

Stuck.
I was stuck.
Long before I met you.
I didn't want to be stuck then,
And I don't now.
Trapped within a
Disgustingly thick, slimy stuck
I worked my way deep in to find
Nothing but more unruly muck.

Stuck.
I'm only halfway stuck.
But you're all the way stuck.
I'm not going back in.
I'll suffocate again,
Lose myself and become
The demon that attaches to
My weakening soul like
The grotesque parasite it is.
You can stay stuck all you want
But you'll never find me down there
While you wallow around in your
Muddled conceptions of yourself.

Stuck.
Yeah, right.
But I'll be here
At the edge of the muck
Waiting to help you out
When you get unstuck.

I want to move on,
But I am stuck.
Stuck on the memories.
Stuck on what could've been.
Stuck on wondering what went wrong.
Stuck on wondering what more I could've done.

I am stuck on the way you made me laugh.
I am stuck on the way you held my hand.
I am stuck on the way you held me in your arms, as we gazed up at the stars on a cold December night.
I am stuck on our roadtrips and our perfectly imperfect duets.
I am stuck on who you empowered and encouraged me to be.
I am stuck on how you made me feel and who you were when I was falling in love.

Now, I see you,
And every time I do,
My heart breaks all over.
I see you talk to everyone else in the room, and bit by bit I fall apart inside.
I see you with other girls, encouraging them the way you did me at the beginning.
I see you moving on, completely unstuck,
Completely unphased by the torment I am in.

You made me genuinely happy.
Happier than I've ever been.
And I can choose to be joyful
and patient
and kind
and humble
and good,

But happiness is stuck in the past with you.

I will always be trying to become my hero, but better
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to become your hero, but real
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to become everyone's hero, but honest
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to become my mother's hero, but reliable
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my brother's hero, but clean
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my buddies' hero, but caring
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my heroes' hero, but recent
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my father's hero, but smarter
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my dead grandfather's hero, but young
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my country's hero, but benevolent
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my friends' hero, but strong
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my church's hero, but open-minded
I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be my love's hero, but brave
II will always get stuck being a little bit less, though
I will always be trying to be the cynic's hero, but charming
*I will always get stuck being a little bit less, though

I'm stuck in a rut
I don't know what to write
I'm stuck in a rut
I don't think I'm going to win this fight
I'm stuck in a rut
with nowhere to go
I'm stuck in a rut
and I just don't know
I'm stuck in a rut
no friends to help out
I'm stuck in a rut
but too proud to pout
I'm stuck in a rut
but I can't make me frown
I'm stuck in a rut
100 miles down
I'm stuck in a rut
just going to contemplate a while
I'm stuck in a rut
but you're just going to see my smile
I'm stuck in a rut
But guess what, I wrote
I'm unstuck from this rut
As I end this on a positive note

It feels like I’m stuck in an elevator. Neither going up nor going down. Stuck in the middle. Stuck in between floors. Stuck between levels. Not going anywhere. Just stuck there. Not moving forward. Not going back. Just stuck. I keep pressing the alarm button but no one hears. I’m alone here. Why is no one around? I’m getting claustrophobic. I’m banging the doors. No one is here. I wish I could get out. I wish I could go up. If not up then at least down. I just wish to go somewhere. I just wish to do something. But the doors won’t budge; the doors won’t open. Why won’t they open? Why won’t the elevator move?
I’m stuck in an elevator. In between levels. Levels being the stages of my life and the elevator, me.
And me being stuck here as I wish to move but I can’t. I’m just stuck not moving anywhere. I hope I move. I hope I go up. I hope I’m not stuck anymore in the elevator of life.

It’s so easy,
That’s a lie,
It’s easy to write about someone else,
To take away,
Ridicule or mock their story,
What happens when we relate,
Do we shun them,
Walk away, stab, tribute against them,
Broken,
Bruised,
Cursed,
Crossed,
Shaken,
Shot,
Stuck,
I’m stuck,
What can I say,
Their is nothing left of me,
Nothing but hate and anger,
Fire filling my lungs,
Smoke bursting from inside,
Everything is just fake,
A reality that is unworthy of me?,
I am stuck,
Stuck,
No movement just the constant questioning of my spirit,
The hunger and ache for knowledge,
Do you hear me?,
Can you see me?,
Are you stuck?,
In an endless spiral of nothing,
Searching for a familiar face,
Begging for love,
Begging for trust and kindness,
Yet denied by a those you love,
Do you know me?,
Do you understand me?,
You might know me better than my closest allies,
Does that make me wrong,
Because I am lonely,
A child in this old world,
Ruined in regret,
Suffering from an illness far from a vaccine,
A broken home without a chance of survival,
Find me,
Search for me in the faces you meet,
You’ll find me,
See me when you close your eyes,
You’ll know I am stuck,
Stuck in shame,
Stuck in lies,
I am stuck in confusion of the past,
Stuck.

And I'm stuck.
I'm stuck on the freckles painted on your skin.
I'm stuck on your gentle carresses of your soft but rough hands, tracing endlessly pointless patterns on my back.
I'm stuck on your raspy voice after you've been laying with me for a while and are beginning to fall sleepy.
But I'm also stuck on the weeks of silence.
I'm stuck on the broken promises.
I'm stuck on the false hope.
I'm stuck on how one year ago, or even five months, you said you loved me to no end.
You said you'd never leave again.
It ended.
You left.
And I'm stuck.

I am stuck in your dimension
Which wasn't my intention
But you have a heart warming appeal
And you are a reliable friend
That's why I hate the emotions I feel
And wait for my life to end

I have been stuck for a decade
A twisted mind it has made
I see suitable suitors
Yet yearn for your presence
Your image seems cuter
Than those peasants'
I wish I could make you see what they see
Better yet
I wish I could make you feel what I feel
I wish I could make what I feel real
Instead of being stuck
In my fiction
My wheels in the muck
Cause friction

I tell you how I feel
You handle it with grace
But that makes me love you more
Now I'm a whale stuck on shore
And hanging out with me is a chore
When my love makes you search for the door
Leaving me stuck
Saying things like I didn't ask for this
I don't want to be like this
I am stuck with clenched fists
I am stuck with eyes of mist
I am stuck like this

I'm through thrashing around
When everything is broken
There is no healing joke
No joint to smoke
No way to cope
With your overwhelming presence
And the threat of your absence
While you're stuck on the fence

There is a light bulb in my room
It provides vision
But its light becomes too powerful
And it explodes
Shards of glass penetrate my eyes
Now it is all I can see
And I can't see anything

Ive been trapped
And stuck
Ever since I was little
Other than
Those
Little tiny snippets of
Normal

Age 3
Staring at the cars
All in a row
While they yell
In the background;
Stuck

Age 3
In the grass
On a sunny day
With all the room to play;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 5
I cried and cried
As my only friend
And our dog
Died;
Stuck

Age 5
On the swing
Reaching way up high
To touch the clouds
Watching me
From the sky;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 7
Late at night in a campground
As I hear people shout
And break things
Not so far from me
But I just needed the code
To the bathroom
To ***;
Stuck

Age 7
At the beach
Feet in the sand
Face all red from the heat
And water in my hair
As I laugh with a random stranger;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 8
Moving to a house
And thinking its great
Until the knife marks
Blood stains
And undergarments
In the fire place;
Stuck

Age 8
Finding the rockface
And seeing the first sunset
From my tall mountain advantage;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 9
Feeding me lies
As he steals my soul
And anything I ever had within;
Stuck

Age 9
Camp arrowflight
Smores
Friends
Games
Sunburns
And sleeping under the stars;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 10
Blades across skin
Blood dripping onto the floor
From my wrist
And from within
Places he shouldn't be;
Stuck

Age 10
Friends houses full of
Laughs
Smiles
Fun toys to be a kid with
And many places to explore
With our imagination as our feet wander
Anywhere beyond there;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 12
Running into the night
Afraid but free
As I walk for hours
Until my final destination
Where I stay
Until found;
Stuck

Age 12
Finally moving in with a friend
And the family
Seeing peaceful
Not dysfunctional;
Tiny snippet of normal

Age 13
He defiles my body
My boyfriend to be
But I love him
So I'm his;
Stuck

Age 13
Exploring new places
With a new family
Smiles on our faces;
Tiny snippet of normal

Age 14
Back again
Back with him
Because you love him
So you're his
And so am I;
Stuck

Age 14
Exploring a ravine
Free
And calm
With music by my side
For the first time
My own;
Tiny snippet of normal

Age 15
It happens again
But this time
I dont bleed from within
Just from my thighs
And my wrists
Before I escape;
Stuck

Age 15
Moving in somewhere new
Cuddles and games
And kisses
And so much soft affection
From you;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 16
You cheated
On me
I scream and I kick
I hate you
Get away from me;
Stuck

Age 16
Walks to the store
Inside jokes and park runs
Full of smiles and laughs
And we finally got a cat;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 17
I must once again flee
As I am blamed
For the truth of another
And they all
Want me gone;
****

Age 17
There isnt a little tiny snippet of normal.

Age 18
You defile me
And she allows it
As she loves you
So she is yours
And I must be too
But you're not the same love
As before
No
You're new;
Stuck

Age 18
Applying for my own money
Getting new supports
Getting better help
Finding people who love me
So I am theirs
But this time they don't know
My reasons
As they never force it;
Little tiny snippet of normal

Age 19
Youve done it again mom
Found a new love
Who declares me his
As much as yours
But this time
I stay away
And you keep him
At bay
But you're suffering;
Stuck

Age 19
A month away
Practically on my own
A lifelong dream
Trips with my own money
To places that make me happy
And a new friend
Who likes me
For me;
Little tiny snippet of normal


These little tiny snippets of normal
Keep me going
And keep me sane
But everytime they disappear
So does my hope
Of getting away

Little tiny snippets of me
Fading away

Stuck between war and peace
Can’t win the fight
Won’t bend the knees

Stuck between cradle and grave
Can’t be a prince
Won’t be a knave

Stuck between the earth and sky
Can’t plant some roots
Won’t let it fly

Stuck between night and day
Can’t silence it
Won’t let it say

Stuck between the head and toe
Can’t keep it in
Won’t let it show

Stuck between a truth and lie
Can’t breathe in life
Won’t let it die

Stuck between joy and woe
Can’t burn it down
Won’t let it grow

Stuck between a yes and no
Can’t make it up
Won’t let it go