I've relied on my words for my sanity
But the pixels are unforgiving and calculated
My bones can not express myself clearly
They creak and moan with years of hatred

This distance is only sustained
With airwaves and power lines
Late nights with mono dialogues
My ears cave in and create mines

I have changed and we both know it
The seasons exclaim that knowledge
Our seperation bombards my happiness
Further driving in that wedge

Every other time we could make it work
Our hearts interlinked in lines like these
If we could make what we have out of nothing
Then we WILL bring any obstacle to it's knees

We both have been through our own wars
And we can still smile, laugh, sing
So just survive the onslaught with me
And we will conquer everything

We are interlinked. I feel as though we are interwoven, our souls stirring in the darkness of night, bound together beneath the twinkling stars. Our thoughts are like a spider's web, intricately woven until strong and unbreakable. In the silence that fills the room, we shine with a shared light. Your mind mirrors mine, revealing truths with every glance. We are like Sirius, eternally orbiting each other, each thought you have leaving a trace within me, echoing deep in my sacred space. As we drift through time, our hearts forge a single rhythm, sharing the same heartbeat, an endless dance with no end. When you dream in REM, I feel them within me, and your laughter fills my being with joy. We speak in whispers, in silent notes, hardly needing words at all. Our love is a boat floating forever on a vast ocean, each wave carrying us forward. I feel every emotion with you - your joy, your hidden pain. I wipe away your tears with my thumb, feeling them as my own. The love we share is boundless, like an infinite ocean, and we sail together endlessly. Every breath I take carries a piece of you, every step I make in the sunlight casts your shadow beside me. In your embrace, I find wholeness, and our hearts beat together in perfect harmony. We need no words when we're together; all we need is each other. With every heartbeat, our worlds merge into one. All fears vanish when I gaze into your eyes, where I see the universe laid out before me. This connection is deep and true, and I am forever lost in thoughts of you. It’s as if we act as one, sharing the same thoughts, actions, and feelings. Even if our story were to end, nothing could break the bond we have. We are interlinked.

There are only two feelings in this world

The first is standing with your friends
holding hands
on top of a van stark naked
at five a.m.
watching the sun paint the sky with red and orange and yellow and gold
and feeling the palms of the two people you know better than yourself interlinked with yours
howling into the almost-day-yet-not-quite-night
overcome with your ambitions and hopes and dreams and songs and sights all at once
and you feel alive
alive
alive

The second is sitting on your balcony
with your legs hanging over the ledge
your feet barely touching the rain as the storm pours down
listening to songs from the 60s on the radio
wondering why they don't write songs like this anymore
while all your friends are at a new years party at some kid you don't even know's house
and you're staring out into the ocean as somewhere over your head the countdown starts
and you know you'll be alone for the rest of your life
happy new year

Her bare feet and palms are the shade of half ripe maroon dates.
Her strong silhouette, a gazelle at sunset.
Eyes are dark brown granules of coffee.
The clanks of gold jewellery on her forehead and ankles,
her sweet aroma of roses fused with jasmine saturate air.
Her fiery soul - a wild Arabian horse yet untamed by bedouins.
Her sun kissed skin glimmers under sunlight;
falcons are constrained with the touch of her fingertips.
She stands tall as she carries her pride,
tall as she hums with the gentle birds.

We ancient women, are an unbroken chain of tribal ancestry,
interlinked by blood and soul. Our lineage, a mother's lullaby,
carried by the wind that disperses sand,
wind that shakes  the core of oceans.

Internal winds that wail with might
A sudden outpour of downpour
Distress accelerating
Into regions physical and mental
Untangling its hair of horrors
So that miniature hells hail
And free will and free thought,
Take the brunt of the damage
Now paralysis is peppered over all
But with one sneeze vigor is awakened
So see all is interlinked
For natural disaster
And natural remedy
Are naturally destined to occur

On a moonlit night,
after a long time
the two wanderers finally met.
They shared an extraordinary
bond that held them close.
One with a crushed heart
and the other with a secret.
He wanted to share his
Story and she had a
confession to make.
A rain drop fell
on the ground and
so did a tear that
rolled down her cheek
when she heard his
story.
He had a ******* his
mind who had left
him with deep scars.
Her heart sunk
and all the butterflies
died.
She submerged in her
own pain.
He told her how much
he adored the girl
and how she had
taken over his heart.
The petrichor
lingered in her mind.
The stars skewed.
A dream that turned
cataclysmic affected
every single atom of
her body.
He held her hand tight
and asked her if
she would help him
get through the heinous
storm.
She nodded with a constrained
smile on her face.
He didn't realize how hurt
She was.
Unfortunately, he  was the only
the one who could be a bandaid
and heal her scars.
She remained quiet and swallowed
the words back in.
Her secret remained a
secret which she couldn't
shrive .
It remained enclosed
to the world.
Losing him as a friend was
something she couldn't
afford.
So she just let it die
and bother her inside.
She buried it deep inside
her heart and completely
concealed it where no one
could find it.
But neither of them were at fault.
Both of the wanderers craved
loved on that night.
Sitting so close, fingers interlinked,
they were stuck in an esthetical
mess of love and insanity.
The two paths had
finally met but a night had
never seemed so
Solitudinarian before.

fades in. there's laughter and cheers found amidst the new ties between the two that multiplies into an odd number of 5. it's late with dim lighting, character 1 takes shelter with character 2. conversations that are kept for caffeine indulging individual ensue. they mumble about their fears and thoughts and pacify each other with sentences that caress ankles like waves. end scene.

cut to the early morning scene that trails onto the lunch time crowds, character 1 and 2 interlinked regardless of how fast the clock ticks. promises about the water being thicker than blood made and hands held before the bell rang. native and young fingers, interlocked, close. 'i'll see you later.' only one word could be used to describe that tone - vibrant like a shade used to describe sunflowers. end scene.

times past like old photographs piling up to my knees on the ground and the scene it fades in different hues and voices. not the familiar ones that belonged to a multiple of 2. no, they're sitting across the hall oblivious to the electricity running beneath us. same faces with different stories while i took my leave, the prolonged leave that continues as my absence runs from a sick leave to an exit. i think about it from time to time, the water in my palms weigh more than the blood running through these veins. stories with alternate endings that continue to exist despite putting the book away, end scene.

cue flashback that's tainted with a days old dust, i looked at the pale blue ocean swirling beneath us like the hidden tales buried. emotions locked away by those who turn a blind eye and are too caught up with their bargaining of the 'fittest' competitions. the place i used to hold on the shelf, removed for bits and pieces of lives around me being carried out without the main protagonist. the waves stayed as they slowly became nothing but a smudge on a watercolour canvas, like the small mark you all left on my existence. no chances to say goodbye even though i practiced it to myself, under my breath from time to time. it falls out of my mouth and lands oddly. never expected but then again is anything really ever? the silence was the print on the answer sheet that the group left in my mind, filling up the void that now takes it place.
the distance between us      and me.
voice like a overused tire by the roadside, not to be missed as is drowned out by the rapid voices that fall into place like a waterfall. as we left that island behind it was really just me who left it all behind, ties broken, water spilt into puddles on the pavement. ‘goodbye.’, voice is soft and isn't heard by those surrounding, not like it ever was to begin with. fade out.

(((( water evaporates, blood leaves a stain))))
knives pressed into my spine is nearly like a regular tune that comes on through my headphones. fear that cripples the living daylight out of me and resolves with me living in the darkness for a week odd. unexpected, once more. then again wasn't morals plastered with words in neon encoding, 'expect the unexpected'. played me out better than a monopoly game and faster than a game of UNO.
detached and without a cause, lacking the need to put on a life jacket to face the indigo currents that leave a bruise in a similar hue.
roll the credits boys, there's nothing to see here.
trying repeatedly was one-sided and drenched in thoughts of my own that formed clouds above your head that was rooted to the ground. i am so out of breath trying to race through makeshift bright-light stores in the night when it fuels your adrenaline and it's just a chase. it's a one way tug-of-war and no one's trying to win me over. wouldn't want anyone to shower on your beach cocktail party now, would we? an emotional imbalance would be such a bother. unable to mimic your laughs but to sympathise with your cries in the bitter nights. disappearing faster than it hits the pond's surface without a trace, nobody remembered nor tried to fish it out with a net of memories.
it's 2am and i can't even hear myself think and --
the whole routine of silhouettes watching me take my leave without any say reminds me of the insignificance present through my veins. no requests to stay for a few days, a week maybe and hopefully even longer. maybe people wind up being more important to me than i am to them.

as I lay down my head
my phone next to me
on the bed
your text
vibrates across the mattress springs
like a technological tinnitus
inside my ear
my consciousness
you want to talk
but not like that
just to make an unarguable point
guilt ridden acronyms
miss-spelt accusations
and inappropriate emojis
convey your emotions
with a twisted sarcastic humour
interlinked with your vent
you know that from the safety of 4G
it aggravates me
I’m bored with it all
too much to even reply
it would make more sense
if you weren’t
abusing me from the spare room

these are the moments I will immortalise

I will stuff them and give them glass eyes
I will pickle them in jars
I will frame and polish them frequently
and I will make them into a gold chain to be passed down through the generations.

I will share, imprint and bore these memories into my children

they will be both humoured and obsessed with the descriptions
of when their mother embarked on many adventures

when they are young, they will imagine me as a fearless pirate.
as they grow, they will idolise the carefree teenager I am, no - I was.

they will know the times I ventured with friends,
who will hopefully be familiar to my children.
the friends who many years from now will be referred to as 'uncle' and 'aunty'.

they will know about all the road trips
and my habitual late night naps in the back seat
they will know the beat of the drums to the songs we listened to and sung at the top of our lungs
and I will play them to live those moments again -
who says time travel doesn't exist

I hope they will be able to smell the memory, mix of excitement and sweat hanging in the air of the car,
the breath of our youth steamed on the window

my children will know that I fell in love far too young
and, as their mother, these are the world's cruelties I will attempt to educate and shield them from.

because one day, my freckled princess will grow into the queen of her own castle
she'll lift the chin of her own baby and say,

'my mumma said to me, you've got to kiss a few frogs before finding your prince. Don't ever give up hope, because magic exists but it isn't always pretty and he's looking for you like you're looking for him.'

Keep you head down, baby. Keep running, 'cause I promise you're almost there.

but I will not undermine my children
and tell them they are too young to love,
for if they were too young to fall in love, how could they fall unconditionally in love with me?

(as I already am with them, aged eighteen)

I will tell them the stories of how I met their father,
I am unsure as to whether or not I know these stories yet.

We will tell them about the first time our hands interlinked and we instantly felt at home with each-other.
  
           when you know, you know.

We will tell them about the sweetness and innocence that hung on our lips for that very first kiss,
and we will continue to kiss
as if it's that same first kiss
every time
every day

they can not deny true love if they witness it every day of their lives

it will be a living reminder
of the love our children were made from and bought into
and a living reminder
that I loved you,
that I love you
before I knew you...
because you're mine

kisses will be our family heirloom
memories are the best thing I can pass down to you

so my story is still being written
but it is not a forced template for my children's lives

I will hand them pencils, if they wish to draw over their pages
I will hand them fountain pens, if they wish to eloquently craft their words
I will hand them every colour crayon ever made, and let their creativity run  over the pages
as free as their young, bare knees will be on the playground

I wish one day, they will read these words,
and know the memories of my teenage years that have been
and memories of my twenties, thirties, forties and fifties that have yet to be made

I wish they will read these words and they will know that I loved them before they even existed

I will have immortalised these feelings through my words.

So immortalise me, my loves, through your memories.

[] Isn't it strange how paths can bend and sway,
[] Three years near, yet always worlds away.

[] Same school, same halls, yet never a sign,
[] Until fate decided the stars should align.

[] When the snow fell soft, our worlds entwined,
[] A friendship was born, so perfectly timed.

[] Since that moment, we’ve held on close,
[] Through every test, through highs and lows.

[] Late-night calls and laughter so bright,
[] Cuddles on couches that just felt right.

[] Cards on the table, some *****, some not,
[] Secrets between us that won’t be forgot.

[] He is the warmth when the cold winds bite,
[] A voice that is there to comfort, that tells me, you’ll be alright.

[] He lights up rooms without a clue,
[] His laughter paints even the dullest hue.

[] One hug from him bares the weight,
[] Just 8 seconds, and it all dissipates.

[] He teaches me love, he teaches me trust,
[] That hearts don’t break, they only rust.

[] One day, when we’ve found our way,
[] Our families will grow together, and choose to stay that way.

[] Through every twist and turn that life creates
[] Our bond stands strong and true, it never breaks

[] I’ll always have him, and he’ll have me
[] Side by side, where we’re meant to be.