Those holy lily petals
Drenched in dew
Open their pale mouths
To the blood
Dripping from steel pipes
Faithful bleeding
The lilies whirl
In a divine breeze

You run your fingers
Through your wet hair
And bare your teeth
Like a feral animal
Ready to devour me
I watch your strong, sure footed walk
Heavy boots clanking like cinder blocks
You always know exactly where you're going
Even when you claim you're blind
Warm, calloused hands hang at your sides
Teasing me
Now you sit there, reading physics
As if your dripping hair
And your wide shoulders
And your sure walk
And your warm hands
And that ******* pink lipped smirk
Were not enough to make me feel like I
Am Orual begging Cupid for a kiss
Pleading to unbutton every scrap of clothing
To see that perfect face and body
Pleading for me too

But I'm no Psyche
And you're no idiot
I'll never be Psyche for you

If I seemed quiet this morning
It's because every time you looked at me
I thought I might explode -
Overwhelmed with every inch of skin and skin and skin . . .
That curve of your forearm
And the smooth expanse of your collarbone
Your rough fingertips and your
Ankles as you rolled your wet jeans
I kept my mouth shut
So none of this **** slipped out my mouth
In the middle of school

That little metal heaven
Where I felt you near me
That little metal heaven
Where I speak - no one can hear me

Our little road trip
Don't know the destination
Whispering lip to lip
No amount of hesitation
You bring the snacks
While I give directions
Our little road trip
Don't know the destination

In that darkness
Perfect darkness
You will be my little light
I can't see you
As we lay there
But I will hold you through the night

I don't want to die,
But the moon still calls my name.
I think I'll visit.

So I swallow fast!
Until the last lump goes down
And my throat closes!

My eyes shake sideways!
And my arms feel cold again-
This is how and when

This is how and when
It all comes crumbling to the
Ever expected

And overly dull,
Commonly thought out, and the
Quiet, calm, silence.

The ever repeat
Of my tragic tragedy:
My heart wrenching end.






Dear trees who hold me,
I will always miss your songs.
I will miss singing

To the soft echoes
Bouncing through your dark branches.
I won't forget you-

Don't you forget me-
I will never remember
Something like your voice.

I wait for the sunset
To darken the Ally,
As I stare at you down the way.

I stand without motion
And so do you,
And so do you!
We stare as the sun goes by
And the clouds clean up the mess.

After the breeze blows
It carries away the stench!
And I don't have to worry
About the maggots from your head!

After the breeze blows
I walk back to my car!
The bullets
In your chest
Are still screaming,
Still screaming!
My gun still whispering,
"Just walk away."

After the breeze blows
The dirt covers up your skin,
And the name that once stood tall
Is now in his grave.

There used to be a brick wall here
But the lovely construction men put up a chain link fence instead
I can finally see through -
Through the metal chinks -
In between the wiring
I relish the feeling of wrapping my fingers around the frame -
Feeling the world on the other side
I can't join it yet
But each finger is a little victory

This road used to be my worst memory-
The remembrance of snow angles and frozen finger tips-
And my heart beats
To the rhythm of that song I hate.

The pavement slips beneath
The tires in the car we drive.
My head tried it's best to sing,
But I'm still distracted by the street lights.

The dusk shadows low
As the mountains reach out to accept the looming clouds.
And I like to think
That somewhere past the skyline
There's a home waiting for me.

I daydream of the stories I'll never write
And I night-dream of ones I never wrote,
And I'll never have enough of my thoughts complete
To complete these thoughts still haunting me.

The roads still scare me-
I am reminded that my future is never certain-
I am afraid of watching those white lines pass right by my windows
And right out of my life
Without letting me say goodbye.

- So let me say goodbye to those memories
So that my tires can rotate a bit more-