Mutt-swine
Slobbering madness
Squealing agony
The people are sniffing out your fear
Fur rotted wolves
And the trembling
**** soaked trees
The people are hungry for neck vain
Bathing proudly
In the mud ****
Of each other's suffering
Bald vultures
Picking flesh
Beneath the cruel laughing sun
The people are rabies ridden
Rot bull
Pit weilers
How's a man supposed to stay alive?
Here's the trick:
Find the toughest one
Gut it
Roll in its stench
And walk among the rest
Stiff jawed
Wild tailed
With a hyena smirk
And the density of an elephant
Oh,
And don't forget
To stare them all
Directly in the eye.

With hair strung down like
Arachnid spit
Sleeping lakes ripple in terror
At your feet
Jigsaws torn by frustrated agonized
Hands
Pieces that will never fit
Never did
I want to polish it like a trophy for the sun
But instead watch it spoil
Dry tangerine in a humid attic
It's just never good enough
Make like the chimera
Like the souls of iguanas
It's just never good enough
But you don't have to be
That
No, not at all

Is nothing special really
I am in my blue checkered boxers
Wearing an unbottoned green flannel
Getting ready for my fourth beer
Listening to classical that I only
Listen to when I drink and/or read
And/or write
And I keep shutting off the typewriter and picking up
James Thurber and the Goethe
And I keep thinking
Wait until spring Suarez
It means something to me today
And then I drop it all
To pick up the beer
There are grapefruits and a cactus
In a broken planter on the tile floor
There is soil and coffee grounds
Down there too
And used shaving razors and Q-tips
And old beers and bad poems
And this one should be there with all
The other trash
But it's here instead
Oh well...
The life and
The sun and
The breeze and
The lungs
Oh well...
Last week I accidentally
Smashed my bookcase while I was
Drunk
And now there are three horrifying
Stacks
Beside my bed
And I hope their dusts
Infect me with their cancer
Forever
Oh well...

I was about 14
And she told my buddy
"I don't know what it is about Ray,
He's ugly, but I think I'm in love with him. Your much more handsome but I think I'm in love with Ray, I'm sorry, but I have to follow my heart. I'm sorry."
And he told me she left him
And I couldn't understand how she could be so young and feel so
Passionate
About me
About anything
I didn't know anything about
Love
About as much as I would
Ten years later
Well, she called me a few days later
"Hey, I just wanted to get something
Off my chest. I think I'm in love with
You,
Your the funniest guy I ever met."
"Oh...ok."
I was dating this girl with giant sagging ******* and a soggy *** like a 40 year old woman
and that seemed more important.
"I'm with T, I don't think I can leave her."
"Oh! So you want to be with the ***** with the ******* but not the ***** that really loves you!?"
"I think so."
She hung up.
Where did all that fire come from?
About a month later T left me
So I called the other one up
"Hey. Ive been thinking about it. I think I AM in love with you."
"Really?"
"I think so."
"Prove it then."
"Ok...how?"
"I want you to meet me at the Taco Bell on Broadway, climb on the roof, and scream 'I LOVE A.."
"Alright."
I put on my boots and walked to the Taco Bell
It was raining
I thought "This must be what love is.
Insanity"
She was standing there and I was ready to climb the roof and make an *** of myself
Then she said "Oh, didn't you get my text?"
"No."
"Oh...look...just go home and read it, OK?"
"What about the roof thing?"
"Just go home Ray."
"Ok."
I went home and she said something
About how she was in love with another guy, she said she was sorry
I thought "****, I wish I had that much love inside of me"
I figured I might have a little bit
Cause there was a small burn in
My throat and my gut.

I said "****! That's probably why I haven't been laid in almost two years!"
And the guys at work laughed
Then the small long dark haired girl
Popped her smooth brown face from
Around a corner
She heard everything
"Wha? You'll find  somebody, I believe everybody has a soul mate out there. And your...a smart guy, you'll find somebody."
I thought about how much optimistic
Or
Just plain ignorant people
Really seemed to disturb me
Then she said
"My best friend use to be with all these guys in high school and I could never find a guy and I was jealous then when I found my fiance she got dumped and was alone for six years and we were like oh my god thats so weird and it's funny me and her didn't like each other when we first met but then one time...."
And I stood there nodding
And terrified
And I remembered why I hadn't
Tried all that hard
To find a women
These last 2 years

Most days I peek out through the
Kissing black curtains
And death is there
She's always there
Definite and gleaming
Lying in wait
A calm river
Glassy and sparkling
Burning beneath moonlight
What should I do?
What can I do?
To wait seems too foolish
Can't you escape it?
I suppose you can
Immortality
Painting lines on the pages
Of forever.

It was a pleasure to see you again
Bulldog jawed with that wide fat ***
I wanted to tell you that I used to
Fantasize about you
Your dark flowers covering
My chest
As I feasted like a black bee
Like a disgusting butterfly
On you hair
I feasted again at the party
Last night
There is something about you
Some kind of dumb innocence
Shining from unraped eyes
That I wish I could return
To my heart
And we talked again and I really tried
To pretend to care
And I saw you frown at me when
They said "Better take it easy on the
Beers Ray..."
"****, I'm fine, this us only the 7th...
Or 8th..."
"Wait til he gets 2 more in him,
******* crazy!!!"
"Really?" You asked
You looked down at the empty green
Glass and
I looked as well
I saw all the light in the room cram
Itself into those bottles
Then I scoughed
And decided the party was getting
Dull
I had to hijack it
Somebody said
"Ray, tell the story about when you
And your ex were at the hotel for your anniversary"
"Well...****. She said 'ooooh baby, your **** is so big!' and I said 'yeah, biggest you ever had baby?' And she said 'well...no....the biggest I ever had was like 12 inches.'
And I was sore as hell about it
So we started arguing and she started crying and I just sat there drinking a jug of Carlo Rossi all night."
And everybody at the party laughed
And you couldn't believe I would say
Something like that
Then you asked "Ray, what size shoe
Are you?"
"11"
"False advertisement" you said.
Then I started screaming
"Hey! It's A DECENT SIZE, ILL PULL MY **** OUT RIGHT NOW, I DONT GIVE A ****"
And I stood up and unbuttoned my jeans
And some laughed
and the party hosts looked concerned
And I saw a scared fascinated and
Disgusted look in your eyes
"LETS GO TO THE BATHROOM, ILL SHOW YOU, NOBODYS EVER COMPLAINED ABOUT IT"
And I rambled on and on
And cleared the whole room again
Anyways,
It was a pleasure to see you again.