I admit to this
incompetence
existing where you hover

when skin insists
the silent fits
truth is, I fit
the incidental other

my lip or bones
shake to remind
these never-ending hours

from black to fooled
I saw in you
the grab of drowning flowers

what love is well
can never tell
the right in what I do

the finding in
this woman’s hand
what won't belong to you

The weeks quickly turned to months
As the air became thicker by the day
And this facade I played became me
I converted to the deceiver of my soul
In this life that grew into a stage

But as the dawn would set in daily
The reality I hid would unveil itself
And my thoughts rained on my mind
Like a thunder storm rumbling inside
My hand would grasp the bottle

I would drink from this glass
As if it were liquid gold from the gods
In attempts to quell the lightning
To seize the screaming within my bones
So that I could escape into a dream

Yet as quickly as I would fall away
I’d find myself right here in my room
A cocoon in my sheets on my bed drenched
By the sweat of all the demons I fought
In the slumber that was better than my head

Oh, how strange the day
That casts a shadow on my grave
That I have dug in wickedness
Through the flesh I have praised

I've found the woe in all of this
Yet in darkness I bathe my bones
While I chain my neck to sins
I stubbornly refuse to turn against

Like a sweet apple from a tree
I lust for the succulent taste
Of a fleeting happiness of addiction
That grasps my veins like ******

I've bonded myself to all the lies
That I  have whispered to my soul
Each night as I stared into the stars
And drifted to the hell inside my mind

But in this place I found an angel
That defended the death I claimed
And I, like the vulnerable sheep
Drank the words of all she said

Like a glutinous fool I was quenched
Until the morning came again
And I woke upon the driest desert
My soul shriveled to nothingness

Yet I find somewhere within my spirit
To fight against every ounce of me
That keeps running to false desires
In hopes to find the freedom I yearn

I plead to be crippled from head to toe
To fall on my knees for eternity
Until I'm bruised and broken
And my heart can breathe again

When my lungs are filled with joy
That sings mellifluously throughout
And my eyes burn with passion
Ignited by the purest of light

And like an earthquake on land
May my spirit be shaken violently
Until the day I'm alive again
Where my mind will blossom

Like a field of flowers in the spring
Where the birds hum their beauty
And my thoughts are silenced
While my flesh dances like the bees


Oh, how beautiful this day will be
When winter is quelled by the sun
And every life is flourishing
In the Truth that we all had lost

to replant or relearn
like they're the same thing
that to swallow a seed
is like eating the tree

water feeds worry
& words tell me
n o t h i n g

but you told me that you loved me
& it is all I can believe

tonight i'm finding poems
in every place you stood
& I am digging deep in gardens
busting knuckles over wood

the grace to understand, my love
is doing me no good
it is the way you burn inside of me
I wish you understood

love is in the silence
the nothing that fronts completion
the smell and ******
trusting in care
it is in caring

quieting down for the loud of your lover
love like this, completely or
do not claim the word
love is in the consistency and not the pattern
finding love in the letting

love is in the letting and moving
the dancing of bodies

it is in forgetting
and pulling it all through

the way two bodies feel in bed
waking up wanting to do it all
over and over and over again