i.

i ripped a page of my mixtape heart and watched the lyrics of a sad love song burn in a fourth degree. i’m so sorry, honey. you are the only memento i have of him; the only remembrance i have left.

but as i hold on to your tragic melody that rings in my ear drums, the more i feel the sting of love decaying like ashes from a cigarette that die with the wind

even now, thoughts of him fade in and out of my foggy brain, flickering like the lights in a horror movie. his smile could set the whole town ablaze, and his eyes, oh his eyes held a hellfire.

he buried himself alive in my head along with yesterday’s bones and yet, when i close my eyes, i am still haunted by his eulogy like a phantom of the sun. and i suppose the only song i will ever sing is his name, until his memory fades away and vanishes like my last breath on my deathbed

ii.

i wrote these sunburned verses, dripping wet with asteroid tears in each paragraph. my pen resembled a syringe used to inject these words into the water stained page while preparing a cocktail drink of rubbing alcohol and mountain dew before swallowing it all in one gulp. you were utter complete poison. threatening to ****** my sanity with a switchblade called your kiss on my skin. and perhaps one day, my heart will learn to fall in and out of love without feeling an overwhelming amount of guilt.

you really are the embodiment of hades in another lifetime. your hands are filthy and covered with the screams of the dark entities that you held inside that chest cavity of yours.
you hold so much more than i could ever know.

my hands are shaking and they are matching the tempo of your vantablack heart.

iii.

it seems i can’t write a single thing that wasn’t about you. you had murdered my words and made the thought of you bleed through my brain with your aftertaste.

love had become a distant memory where you ethereal face began haunting my dreams and my whispers were no longer whispers, they were blood curdling screams of agony.

your words breathed like they had a life after you stole mine, and since you did, i’ve been holding onto what’s left of my anatomy and die slowly.

iv.

you killed me with your sharp as a blade
cyanide tongue as i overdosed on my yesterday’s delusions while i closed my eyes
and sunk deeper into the abyss called nirvana.

he was always a moment too big for me, everyone knew that. he was magnetic and electric, and my heart and entire being couldn't contain such a man as magnificent as him.

he was always torn with choosing me and his dreams, but i guess he finally had enough and decided to burn the bridge that connected us to each other.

sometimes i still find the ashes of the bridge's remains on my shoes and clothes from when i tried to get to him. i'm just speaking in metaphors, but no matter how many of them i use, they will never show you how miserable i truly am.

remington leith is and will always
be the bittersweet death of me.

you’re such a melancholic enigma.
heart shaped bruises on your neck and lipstick stains on your porcelain skin

there’s no beauty running through those filthy veins, you are not crystalline.

you have terror in your words as they hold me in a tight embrace. i never felt so cold, yet so warm in someone’s grip. i could get frostbite from your hands, and a heatstroke from your lips.

your tongue is sharp as a blade
you had enough time to practice
and now you’re slicing my chest open
so you can rip my heart out.

i was too naive to notice the skeletons buried underneath the clothes in your closet and the blood staining your hands

i found all the bones and remains of your victims and i felt the acid in my stomach knowing i was next

i could hear your filthy words that were cursed with dishonesty but they sounded so sincere

they say that it takes trust, communication, and love to make a relationship

so i guess we weren’t anything to begin with.

you are a holocaust

you are terror

but you are so divine in ways that i cannot bare to speak

you are my salvation

but you have a car crash in your chest cavity
and hellfire within your irises.

i’m screaming ruination as your plump pink lips press against my stomach and down to my bare hips

you’re telling me the only thing i need to scream is your name, as i bite down on your shoulder to gain some friction

my eyes roll back as i arch my back
getting my body ruined by a dying god was never on my bucket list.

she pulls out her marlboro pack cigarettes and takes the slender cancer stick out and puts it between her lips

sparking the lighter, she throws her head back and wonders what all went wrong with her and her hades.

the bitter nicotine was filling up the emptiness he left inside of her hollow chest when he ripped out her heart and crushed it into a liquid crimson mess

she couldn’t pinpoint where things went wrong, but she knew things went downhill a long time ago. if she focuses, she can still
hear the rolling of his suitcase when he left her in that **** motel at 4am.

4am. it’s always 4am. and now she’s trying to **** some air into her heaving lungs when the clock hits 4’o’clock because all she sees is his silhouette.