Nursing a head full of questions.
Things left voiceless and unsaid.
Thoughts running errant,
and cracked promises half made.

In my already bloated baggage,
I take in an extra load.
A tourist in a familiar place
stranded by the side of the road.

Should’ve noticed the clues...
Should’ve read the signs along the way...
Now I stand in the middle to nowhere,
reliving yesterday, today.

I tend to spend most of my time in dreams
People around me are bothered, it seems
A qoute I got from a book said
Reality exist because of our minds, without it, there is no universe.
So it got me thinking,
If the mind makes up the concept of our reality,
Are our dreams also part of our reality?
I'd invest my time in this theory,
Cause maybe I feel that we could control our dreams,
The only limit is our imagination
Or maybe, I feel happier in the comfort of my mind,
Rather than constantly trying to please the minds of others.

Received a surprise.

A massive ball
of depression,
anxiety and
hyperventilation.
All laced and
bundled up
with fancy ribbon
tied in a bow,
served on
an ornate platter
and accompanied by
a quaint little
card which I
only read later.

It read,

“Choke on this *******.
Happy birthday.”

.

I was looking for a change on my life,
hated the path i've taken,
felt like being at the edge of a knife,

I thought about it, giving up,
Letting what I thought was inevitable, giving myself a choice to never wake up

Most have been through this stage
And bounce back,
But not everyone could continue and write their following page

Those fortunate didn't have to cry for help
They had their ways to make things better
What kept them going shouldn't matter

For those characters that ended their chapter
You didn't leave nothing behind
You reminded us all that humankind could've been healthier to one another

Finally to the ones that are in this current phase
Everyone hopes you're in a good place
Your existence isn't dispensable
Carry through, although its unbearable

It gets better altogether

Life is a coaster ride, you'll get back up again,
Everyone has a tide, it all comes down the rain

Loved left marks on the walls
And took apart floor boards.
The cold air crept in
'cause Loved left the door open
when they took off.
So, the house got cold;
walls became frosted.
What’s left of the floors
became slippery that
one wrong move could
cause severe injury

So I gave up the mortgage
and sought refuge in other shelters;
Some houses felt too big
That I couldn’t possibly fill it up
with my simple wants and needs.
Some houses felt too small,
I’m afraid that my complexities
on top of complexities
Would topple over each other and shatter.
Some houses were too complicated;
Floor plan with secret passages
between secret passages,
That even I’m too plain to figure out.

Then love arrived
And fixed up the walls.
put in fresh cut wood as floor boards,
installed new light fixtures;
Made the house feel like a home again
Made me feel home again
And thus, I am safe.