Everything must be done perfectly.
Not to upset anyone else.
They have to have their way,
Or else it will disrupt the balance of peace.
Lucky for me,

I can get the fingers pointed at me,
I am allowed to be scolded for mistakes.
And I get to be the central reason for family meetings.
I can do all these things,

But I am not allowed to show my appreciation for it.

I cannot shout about it
I don’t get to go out and clear my head
I am forbidden to throw fists at inanimate objects.

But most of all, I cannot let them
See or hear that I am angry
I just have to sit there and take the anger.

I am allowed to leave the room however.
I can stay quiet and let it all bottle up inside
I can’t make noise, but I can bite my own fist
To keep my teeth from clenching.
I get to make myself sick over it,
And tell no one that I am so.

I get to put on a paper-thin mask;
A clean slate of nothingness.
I can walk around wearing that
So long as nobody stirs the surface.
Or it will ripple like water,
And tear into the face behind it
Revealing the pain, still fresh from before.

Call me self-centered,
But I don’t want to follow
Those rules anymore.

So much anger

And pent up pain

You'd think can

Make you strong again



To turn the one you hate

Into a less-than-mental state

Of a fragile mind

Broken twice too many times



"****" that and "Shove" this

Are the choice beginnings blis-

tering into the scorch of

The scorned Sir or Miss



Even though a simple

"Go to hell" would suffice.




Them, I speak of now

For they always somehow

Manage to get by

And heal, in due time.

Then go ask the long-tongued liar.

You may not get the answer you're looking for,
but I guarantee the story will be great.
He'll ***** with your head,
bend your mind into shapes
you can't even begin to imagine.

He will lead you through the door.
Like the poor lamb to slaughter.
He has the creativity to
send you on a perilous journey
for nothing in particular.

But cursed of all,
he can make you think
that he was right.
And you were wrong
for the entire time.

Be warned.
He is no gentleman
when it comes to
head games and mind tricks.

His hands, you
will easily slip through.
And you will not be able to
crawl back if what he said
was true.

The question is,
can you keep up with
his racing trains of thought?

Glad it's over.
Now just fearful of what's to come.
I tried so many times
To bring what should have
already been there.
Without much success. Naturally.

So I left.

Just got up and walked away from it all.
Of course I know what I left behind.
It's still there actually.
I think.
I hope.
I don't know.

But I ran the second time.
The second time, my heart pounded
Into my throat and up
Through my mouth.
All I could let out was a
Whisper, wanting so badly to
Be able to Speak
To be able to Sing.
scream.

To let it be known.
Just let it be.

If I were a book,
I’d be a cheap thriller
Worthy enough to pick up quickly
And put down all the same

If I were some sort of sweet,
You’d swear it couldn’t get any better.
Upon your lips,
You wouldn’t find one as *******.

If I were a drink,
Without me, surely you’d
Die of an unquenchable thirst
For more.

If I were a light bulb
Halogen it would be.
Bright as the sun
With an everlasting source

If I were an animal,
I’d be endangered.
Close to extinction.

The rare beauty
That everyone wants
On their mantle

I often go to those who like what they can touch
Who love only my backside in the firelight
And ask for my hand in what
Should be a matrimonial experience

I write when I should study
I read when I should play
I will always live for no one.
Such is my day.

A penny for your thoughts
A dollar for your soul
Few more shining pieces
And now we're on a roll.

The world which runs
on paper and coin,
Be it for food, or house
Pleasure of ****.

We sell our bodies,
And not our souls
Though some sales will
Be worth more than gold

It's the world we choose.
The world we thrive in.
The world we'll lose
If we keep on lying.

Shiny bobbles and trinkets
Do not measure what lies within
To ignore this fact
Indeed would be sin

I want you.
It’s true.
And you know because
I’m not much of a liar

I want you
Oh, yes I do.
To think it would be
So bad for desire

To take over my body
And give it all to you
To forsake what I once
Knew to be absolutely true

Just make the clock stop
On its face, and nail me
With your sweet embrace
To the wall.

Clawing through the jungle
That is my mind
Come bring me through
To my bedroom and we’ll make time

For precious simple moments
Of pleasure purely passion,
Forget your cares they’re in the air
It’s why the waves come crashin’

Down. Over me
My body shining cold
Your hands are all I need
To keep from growing old

Just want me.
The way I want you too
Just want me.
You know I need you.

Please hold me.
Please touch me

The way you used to.