all this regret & loneliness has been getting to my head. hey would you mind if i spent the night in your bed? when it's over, neither of us will attempt to call, but a moment is still better than no time at all

"hi...yes...it's rachel...yes I'm doing fine, how about you? good, good... yes, i know it's late, and I'm really sorry, but there's something you should know..."

I hate the way I look at you...
with loving eyes and kind thoughts...
you'd think that everything you and I have done would
sway my thoughts about you or change the way that I look at you,
but instead it has only made me grow even fonder of you and I'm not
really sure how I should go about handling this.

But whatever I do, just know that I am fond of you and that
I adore you.

His lips caressed mine and it reminded me that not everyone is like you.

When the leaves first start to change,
I know I have been warned.
Winter is on it's way and soon
I'll be forced to take refuge
from my thoughts, and the cold
that will try to slip into my bones
and rattle me to the core.

Though I've never been diagnosed,
I'm almost certain its true,
seasonal affective disorder lies
dormant in my veins
waiting for the first autumn breeze,
the first winter flurry,
the first ******* signal to send me
into yet another yearly downward spiral,
only difference now
is I'm becoming more aware of the signs.

Sometimes I can't sleep at night
and some mornings I struggle to open my eyes.
Mid lesson, my mind will wander,
taking me down dark pathways
cobblestone streets too often strolled down
by those who've yet to find a way around
the mind gripping struggle that is
Pumpkin Spice Latte commercials,
and fuzzy ******* sweaters.

These things that are supposed to bring comfort only bring me down.