As the grass grew
I cut it
I didn't think about it
I just shaved it
Again
Again
Again

Have you ever been outside?
It's slow.
Have you ever seen the grass?
It's slow.
I watched the grass for an hour today.
I didn't see any change.
Yet somehow the grass kept growing
Just to get cut down on saterday
Because when grass stops growing,
It dies.

Every week when i cut the grass
I looked in the mirror
I shaved my beard
I didn't see any change
Weeks whent by
I didn't grow
Am i alive?

They drugged me to remove depression
Now i'm a druggy just to feel it again
I'll get down just to have direction
I don't know how to deal with being empty

I left her because i didnt feel a thing
When i left i didnt feel a thing
I ****** around and never missed a beat
My heart pounds on like it wasn't ment to be

Nobody understands when i tell the truth
Nobody knows when i tell a lie
I dance with the devil because i don't value life
When people question they don't get why

These thoughts in my mind make it hard to think
So i try to laugh to take away the pain
People always left red in the face
Comedy comes from the darkest place

I don't want to be alive
I don't care if i'm dead
But i find it very hard to die
Without a gun to my head

As if i wasn't good enough at baseball
I threw one through your window
Last month i hit mine
Nothing killed me more than
Planning to smash through yours
And with these holes in our houses
All i want is to go camping with you
Tell you how much i want to rent a condo
And you can help me pay for it
We'd only need one bed
How i long to dream together

Yet i threw away
I shatterd us
First my heart
Then yours
Because we don't work together
Love and life don't always match
Our highs were space ships
Our lows were mermaids
Our hearts were perfect matches
Our minds were mortal enemies

You kept me captivated
You kept me intrigued
You were my intellectual opposite
You were my curiosity

Yet

We couldn't understand each other
We couldn't co-operate
When i said left you looked right
When you said up i looked down

Heart over mind
Mind over matter

To my greastest challenge,
My best accomplishment,
My favorite memories,
And my hero.

You made me,
You broke me,
You loved me,
And you healed me.

I miss you.
I love you.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.

Heart over mind
Mind over matter
You broke me
You made me break my own rules

Deep inside of me is a voice. Normally i can drown out it's constant talking. Lately the voice has been getting louder and louder. I feel as if soon that voice will spring free. My soul will scream to the sky and let loose the deamons bellowing below. Desire will consume me; my old friend has forced his hand.

I can't believe i'm actually thinkin bout leaving you. There's not alot i'm afraid of but that's some **** i'm unprepaired to do. I never thought i could see and end where i'm not right next to you but i've cheated yet again and so i think i've ended up ending up without and end with you. I'm a fool. I never should have fell for you. I hurt the ones i love so never will i lay sight to you. I'm sorry for all the things i've done i never ment them hurt to do . You're still my little baby girl even if you hate me please don't hurt yourself. All that i want is to see that smile on your face but there's things that i can't give you so it's best if i put some space. Ain't no way i'll say this to your face. It'd **** me if i was in your place so imagine how it feels to be the one that was suppossed to be your protector b! You were my ****** family! You built the walls of this house all around of me! I never ment to hurt you but thats all that i can seem to do so later i'll take a shot or two and let the pistol wring a few until my skull's split into two and maybe then i'll forgive myself for who i became. My ******* fall to fame.

Don't let your dreams get to far - remember you can't get the gold if you don't know just where you are. Id trade a leg and arm just to get the golden touch, of her heart. I lost a peice of me when she left - she made me bleed and now i feel i need a surgery or a drug or some kind of thing to make me feel like i am next to she - the one that got away. Never will i forget your face. You put me in my place and now i'm stuck forgot how to give a **** about myself. They come first. The ones around. It hurts me way deep down when i see a face i love put on a frown. It's more than just a brown it's a burn. I almost like the way it hurts. Conditioned by repition put me in this disposition so i write this written. I put the decision of who i am in another person's hands. I've lost my promised land. Lost my human rights. I've given up the fight for my life. Can't sleep at night. Round and through - pull it tight - get it done right - the tricky bit is when you get up into it and you start question if the noose is worth the conditions - can't stop now - won't start slippin - stick to the plan - you cant comply to lifes demands - if you dangle there's no repremands - step on down and be a failure yet again - no i can't - i won't do it - head whent through it - **** i blew it - the rope i knew it - broke in two, it - snapped at the base - landed on my face - hit the ground - still choking out - grab my kneck n' pull it out - **** what now - lets over dose like an auschewitz kid just got some chow - take enough to **** a cow - woke up in the icu - full of tubes - right here next to you - the dissapointment shows right through - don't deny it don't even try to hide it you know i know when you're lyin.

Now hush baby brother, dont you cry
Everything's gonna be alright
Gotta toughen up my little buba, i told ya
I'll always be with ya in your mind
You'll hear alot of things but hold onto my good side
Dont forget you were my pride
It may feel a little painful, when the rain falls
But i promise the sun will always shine

It's using the post / instead of sending an email / or loving to sleep / instead of loving a female

Don't mistake it for lazy / I want to be active / it's harder in life than / it seems to be in practice

It takes your energy / and it uses it as shots / to shoot your motivation / believe me it's hard

It's waking up early / to go back to sleep / so you can work up the nerve / to get up onto your feet

Imagine you slept for / an hour every day of / the week all you'd want / to be doing is sleep

You'd be emotionally / unstable and very / unsociable / with stress feeling uncontrolable

You're number one struggle/ would be the simplest of tasks/ what you do in a day / would be cut right in half

You want to be able  / to do that witch you should / at work or at school / or where ever you stood

But all you could think about / would be ending the pain / wishing someone understood / what flowed through your veins

You can't control your lack of love / or low energy / all you want is nothing to do / for all of today

When just waking up is giving / your very best n' / nobody understands / that's clinical depression