i don’t know why
but i trust you
i have problems believing
the words you say
but i trust
that you’d never
hurt me intentionally
i really hope
that this isn’t a joke to you
that you’re not lying
because
i don’t think
i could
handle
that

this one's to you.
to the giant rolls of fat that make up my midsection.
beneath my torso
and above my thighs.
i don't recall ever being fond of you
i never loved you.
but i have to learn
since i've had you for years now
and no amount of diet and exercise
can seem to rid you of me.
i don't want you there
at least, not on me.
i tell people all the time
how beautiful they are
regardless of their pants size
but then i look down
and hate my own.
i've lost some weight, sure
and i'm so, so, so happy about it.
but i have to learn to love you.
you're soft
and warm
and a really nice pillow, i've heard
but you're also a sign of an easy target
it's because of you i've been hurt in the past
people see a fat person and think
"oh, they'll do anything for attention"
"anything for love."
well
they're wrong
and they're right.
i crave love
but hate attention.
i have someone now
who pacifies both
and who calls me beautiful
and truly believes it
but they still want to see me live as long as they
inevitably will.
i'm sorry it's so hard to love you
i just wish
that you were a little smaller.

YOU
SAY
YOU
LOVE
ME
BUT
WHO
COULD
LOVE
ME
WHEN
I
DON’T
DESERVE
IT

He
slices
open
his
skin
and
out
come
the
wildflowers

YOU ARE MY SMILES
YOU ARE MY LAUGH
YOU ARE THE TWINKLE IN MY EYES WHEN I’M NEAR YOU
YOU ARE THE BLUSH ON MY CHEEKS
YOU ARE
YOU ARE
YOU ARE
YOU

don't leave me alone
and i won't leave you alone
we can both
leave
together.

Some nights,
I lay awake,
Thinking about how much
I hate my life.

Other nights,
I lay awake,
Unable to control how happy I am,
Smiling like a fool.

A few nights,
I sit there,
Void of emotion,
Unable to cry.

But there is never a time
When you don’t cross my mind.

everything is monotone in my eyes
a whole world of just blue tires my eyes
mind
heart
and soul
but blue is all I've ever known
sure, there are different shades
different names
The night sky is navy
the grass is teal
water air-force blue
but
blue is boring
blue is repetitive
blue is everywhere
my dad said once that his whole life was grey
my moms?
nonexistent.

all you need to do
to find the needle
in the haystack
is burn the whole
******* thing
down

And she looked as if she had sipped the sun
her lips a ghost of what once was
and a promise of what will come

stop saying that you know i'm strong
because it's obvious that i'm not
i never have been, truly
and i doubt i ever will be
adding the weight of the world to my shoulders
won't make me stronger, either
it will surely weigh me down more
weakening me
letting me crumble away

Stupid little children
**** me off.
****** language,
Major attitudes,
And feeling pretentious.
**** them.

I love you
To infinity
And beyond
Beyond all space
Beyond all reason
Beyond all comprehension
Even beyond the universe

I wish you would dance
because even if the whole world
was watching
I’d make a fool of myself
and dance with you.
you mean so much, too much
to me
and I can’t bear the thought of losing you.
****,
I really can’t lose you
but I am
so
s o o n