Lady by the lake

She walks by waters misty blue

As dusk settles across the lake

She lights a latern to lead her there

To the other side her gentle stare

In lightest blue her dress of silk
Reflects the moon lit night

He's captivated by her dance

He waits for her though she is unaware

He calls her but he  she does not hear

He shows him self to her yet he she does not see

A spirit she awaits to set her free

He takes her hand but feels no warmth her side

Untill she feel secure she only hides

He holds her close and leads her to the shore

He kisses her neck so soft she breathes once more

From her silent reverie she now  awakes

She screams of fear and darkness from her night

But strong enough his love will hold her near

She twists and turns her spirit not yet free

But echoes of his beating heart breaks free

She allows him gift her body quivers see

But now real love and passion she can reveals

Not control but warmth and strength surround her

She finds herself excited by his warmth

For now she can be loved also protected and not scorned

And sails unfold as they begin to drift

A journey new way of love they make

Into a waters  sensual awakening

Of  love she wakes from silent reverie

Her body gently laid across his chest

Strokes her golden hair across her breast

She finally feels free of evils quest

In the morning the light through shadows play

He lies there as her slipsaway

Her spirits to the lake returns in her beauty

For only night can capture her solice still

she fades away to lakes side call

She glances up and catches his eyes they burn

she waits for the evening once more

But will not be free

FALLEN ANGEL

Lady by the lake

She walks by waters misty blue

As dusk settles on the lake

She lights a lanten to lead her there

To the other side her gentle stare

In lightest blue her dress of silk

He's captivated by her dance

He waits for her though she is unaware

He calls her but she doesnt hear

He shows him self to her yet she does not see

A spirit she awaits to set her free

He takes her hand but feels no warmth her side

Untill she feel secure she only hides

He holds her close and leads her to the shore

He kisses her neck so soft an breathes once more

From her silent reverie she now can wake

She screams of fear and terror from her fright

But strong enough his love will hold her spree

She twists and turns her spirit not yet free

But echoes of his beeting heart break free

She allows him gift her body quivers see

But now real love and passion she can feel

Not control but warmth and strength surround her

She finds herself excited by his warmth

For now she can be loved also protected and not scorned

And sails unfold as they begin to drift

A journey new way of love they make

Into a sea of sensual awakening

Of  love she wakes from silent reverie

Her body gently laid across him

Stokes her golden hair across his chest

She finally feels free of evils quest

In the morning the light through shadows play

He lies there sees her slip away

Her spirits to the lake returns in beauty

For only night can capture her solice still
she fades away to lakes side call
She glances up and catches his deep his eyes they learn
she waits for the evening once more
For his return

Lady of the lake

She walks once more through waters misty blue

As dusk now settles upon the moon lit lake

She lights a lanten to lead him there awake

To the other side her lovers gentle stare

Of lightest blue her dress of silk  flows

He's captivated by her dance

He waits for her though she is unaware

He calls her but his voice she does not hear

He appears  to her yet he she does not see

A spirit she awaits to set her free

He takes her hand but feels no warmth her side

Untill she feel secure she only hides

He holds her close and leads her to the shore

He kisses her  so soft she breathes once more

From her silent reverie she now awakes

She screams of fear and terror through  her fate

But strong enough his love will hold her spree

She twists and turns her spirit not yet free

But echoes of his beating heart breaks through

She allows him gift her body quivers new

now real love his love she can heal
Not controlled but warmth and strength surround her

She finds herself excited by his warmth

For now she can be loved also protected from the storm

And sails unfold as they begin to drift

A journey new away with love they lift

Into a sea of light awakening

Of  love she wakes from silent reverie

Her body gently laid across his chest

Stokes her golden hair he will now rest

She finally feels free of evils quest

In the morning the light through shadows play

He lies there late in sleep
sees her swiftly slip away

Her spirits to the lake returns in beauty

For only night can capture her solice still

she fades away to lakes side call

She glances up and catches  deep his eyes they learn

she waits for the evening once more
For his return

I see it over there
I see it in the sitting room while I'm sat on the stair
A place I often found myself
Sitting in the window shelf
Early hours hearing you screaming crashing tone
Angry sounds and banging doors
Little one I hide alone
Hope a little deer doesn't lose her little smile
Hoping that the hare is out and gently bounces home
Hoping that the moon still shone and owls still listen near
Staring up into the moon
Wish you to return
WHAT If SHEs gone
A promise often said
Made a child tremble fear
On being left for others prey
When she is gone the shadows come

I cry alone the cuts so deep
I cannot rest i cannot sleep
I try so hard to break away
To stand so strong
But its like a wall is all around
My voice is screaming out with pain
Yet not a single sound is heard
It like im not even here at all
The colours in streams are reflecting the storm
I tried so hard to break away from dawn
Yet the stronger my light
The darker the sea
Don't understand
Why I cant be free
I get so far then bang the
Lightning strikes
The rocks i built up fall into the sea
The force of the waves
They crush inside me
Until I'm drowning in my own fear
Please take my hand
Get the hell out of here
This time its harder i cant walk away because
Its here where ill stay
I need to stay where i chose to be
Its the fear that should leave not me
As it doesnt matter where i swim its the fear inside that pulls me in
Fear that ill be left behind
Alone in the dark
Where no one will find
The door is locked there's no escape
I cannot breathe i cannot wake
God knows iv tried  for he was there
Yet no one came only evil once more
There's no one here no one came
No one pulled me out again
Just keep on swimming
One day ill find
A way out of this hell not left behind

When you say the words  " I'll pack my bags and move out "
When you say the words one day I'll leave
It rips a knife through my heart even when your joking it still hurts so please don't ever utter those words again
As you already left before
as you can not imagine what it felt like
as a child to here your mom say those words and one day disappear
Don't ever utter words untrue
To someone who's been hurt it rips straight through
Like the pain is so brand new
Being left when a child so vulnerable
Makes you feel like your a ghost of someone once wanted by you
Now your not wanted and your just a doll torn through
I hope you never know what it feels like to be scared
To look around a see no one is there for you
To be homeless to be unwanted
to be broken it's not even you

Today I woke at 5 again to the hooting of the owl
the window left unclosed each night so I can hear the stream
The rain was heavy beautiful to wash away the tears
The rain are the tears I cried for you for the last 40 years
The cool November air is here
It's soft and gentle chill  
Makes me feel so warm inside to know
I'm close to you
No matter how cold my feet when barefoot I walk through
the cold and deep and earthy path the forest calls to me
The mushrooms are so plenty now the berries are so many
To see the little birds through the winters silence heavy.
The badger now has gone to sleep the deer close behind
But the wolf he's stays so strong and ready and the hare she still goes on
Still gazes at the moon at night wishes your return
Yet pushed away the badgers hopes to be a new discover
Now it's too late to try
To mend her broken heart
I'm sorry I didn't let you try for grief of losing you took my heart with you  took my life with you and I search so far to find you but I couldn't see the tears stopped me from seeing
the pain stopped me from feeling and the
Being unwanted stopped me from believing that anyone would ever want me again so I made sure they couldn't see me to never let them in so they could not hold me and you could not leave again

hold your faith
If the universe brings you to it, life will bring you through it
If you look at what you do not have in life,
you don't have anything,
If you look at what you have in life,
you have everything.


Happy moments, be grateful
Difficult moments, seek help
Quiet moments, enjoy the calmness
Painful moments, trust in the universe
Every moment, be you

Life a stage

If i can take the stars out from the sky
If my poems can make the audience sigh
I can take a forest hillside wake
I can be a super moon
Or just a fools snowflake
I don't want to melt away
I want to fly swift brave
Be the best version  of myself
And not be second for someone else
Cry another tear of hope
Or fight for a new chapter
Doors open every turn
You're breathing now your turn
Leading lady take a dance
Its your stage to flow
Come  take a chance x

Shine bright my love my light my lovely mom
who gave me  life
I my children you helped to grow I'll see your funny laughs
and know
that every tiny little turn they take you’ll help them as they go
The brightest star I'll see your light shine on
The owl at night I'll hear your call go on
The rain drops gentle on my face like tears I can not cry
The magnolia tree its gentle flowers in our garden space
Sitting under the cherry tree
The swinging seat your brother made for you and me
A feather falling on my face
I'll feel your gentle stroke
When our stream begins to flow
I'll know your here to say hello
And when the sun warms up my face I'll feel you warmth your glow
When the sun goes down each night I'll  hear you whispers say good-night
When the moon is full so white
I'll know your somewhere shining bright
When in December it's starts to snow I'll remember not to let  go
Of all the love and memories
The gifts that a mother brings
Through my tiny grand childs eyes through her tiny baby smiles
I'll know your there living on
Into the future my lovely mom

When summer breezes came.
The sun's warmth a golden crisp of time
Melts the cold ice inside of you
No more broken winters bite
No more tears by candle light
No more burns of frost at night
No more chills the winds of fright
Only warmth if summers glow and song of birds
And trickle of the stream now flow
Gentle waters warm a fragile heart
Till strong a smile and eyes they see no dark
Yellow is now all that melts your day and ice cold blue it melts away.
Be happ free dont let the walls now climb
Only honey suckle light to gaze upon.
Open up a flower of new light
The spring still has a whisper in the night
Take a gentle brush its colours bright
On a new canvas now you write...
Helene Smith

In my mind I create a Space
Natural calm and safe
Where beauty grace and spirit light
Dances freely through the night
Pure of spirit kind of heart
The daisies dance to singing heart
The buttercups of yellow sun
Dance around the daffodil drum
The bead of hearts gently fall
Like tear drops of spring and waterfall
Open up pure of light
April showers the sunlight
Shapes of angels floating by
Captured eminating light in calm blue sky
Soft light of serenity
float by
Angels wings feel their  so light
No need to hold on tight
For you can not fall only float
And feel so light in air so calm
Your spirit feels the presence of life
In all the senses your pure light
My true being of pure love and light
Settle the winds the storms with love
Know inside your light and good
Know inside the garden space
Where you can still create
A gentle calm and centred way
To take all pain away
And even when my physical body
Is unhappy or unwell
I still have a heart of kind of peace of joy and strong of mind
My true core self
I'll always find
This is my true nature inside
Awareness of light that always shines
No matter if I'm left behind
Nothing can stop pure love pure light
I am held by truth by love
It can't be changed for I  am one
I'm whole and light
And  cannot be undone
I am light ✨️

So you say but words I do not hear
Nor do I pretend to know what idle gossip near
The hare it races fast you can ignore
But little deer she hides  so frozen in her fear
The moon a friend to shine the way
But also lends a hand to shadows dancing in your way
Just stay so quiet still don't sleep the night
Then morning sun will brighten warm you through
Take the little path now down the lane
Slowly heal and drown out all the rain
Play a little song inside your head
And don't be long
Until you catch your death
The owl is still but watches over head
And hare he knows your strength
As tested thread

So lone your here again
Returning all the time
What is the spell your try to teach
What is the secret line beneath
Do tell as tired I am of you
Lonely calling out not true
I have around me people see
Yet you still need to sit with me
Worth are this wish u to teach
Faded lonely out of reach

Named Elisabeth my angel child
My flower that didn't bloom
The stars took you before
I had the chance to hold you
Please forgive me i didn't know
I had no choice but let you go
My morning star
My misty blue
Cant say goodbye
I miss you

I made a mistake of reaching out

Why did i dare to write it out

She doesn't look me in the eye

He thinks i'm just a stirring lie

Why did i think you'd understand

They walked away did not stand

So now ill go back into the dark

No message read no one to send

Its different now to far the dive

Cant run away can not hide

Just frozen waters once again

Broken suppressed by childish fear

How can you see into my eyes

Like doorways to my soul

I lead you to the deepest fear

Hoping you'd pull me from the numb

Spirit sleeping deep within my soul

And lead me home wake me from myself

Save me from the darkness that drags me in

Each time in tears i wake from the night terrors before dawn

Hoping some one would hold me through the storm
I tried to speak to let you in
To help u see i sorry

Is it luck or is it just a game
For some lose health others gain
Some have no money to earn or to share
Yes they are rich they have family to share
To be troubled and ill is a terrible loss
Like freedom being taken
Like bombs being dropped
Poverty pain regret or fear
Everyone has their story their tear
Maybe the theif whos stealing the goods
Is trying to pay for a child whos lost
And the beggar you try to pretend isnt there
Cannot move away from the darkness he bares
And the preacher man who runs shouting may scare
But a lonely soul may be fearful in there
The street painter whos work you clearly adore
May be a wise man or a victim of war
So when you walk through the market square
Just take a moment to stand
be aware
That every person has value you see
They all have a purpose just like you and me

How have you fallen from the heavens, my morning star, fallen angel of the dawn! How are you cut down to the ground, you who shone so bright

From little streets of sun and play
To learn and be with friends each day
I come from a place of family
Where love was all around me
Happy trips to sunny hills
To castles way up high
To walking up a mountain top
With wild horses free
To blue lagoons and oceans deep
The beauty shone in me
Always up with stars at night and looking ti the moon
The beauty in this mother earth
And sounds you've always heard
The voices of the angels still whisper in my ear
The smell of woodlands secrets
And the smell of blossom in the air
There's so much love around me
No time for winters chill
Let the spring awaken my soul once more
The summer will come through

My child within.
Although you cannot see me you know I'm always here
I'll listen to yours words your stories and your fear
I'll wipe away your tears
I'll wrap my arms around you tight
I'll understand your fears
If the shadows come and swamp you
You know I'm always here
If the fears they still harm you
I'll keep the darkness clear
Although I cannot stop our pain inside our hearts I'm near
I can always hold you let you know
That when the memories creap in
And I cannot clear your mind ill take away the darkness and tommorrow your'll be fine
I'll make dam sure the past won't be the last of you
From now we will go on
Held together with our hearts and new memories we will build together
No matter where we are
I'll love and comfort you
I'll hold your hand so tight
So even in your darkest dreams I'll get you through the night
Just hold on till tomorrow
I promise a new day
Forget the pain and sorrow
We'll let it fade away.

Don't close your eyes to tomorrow
live every day and remember me
don't hold your head in sorrow
smile as I am not forgotten
wake every day as I cannot
and make it count
smile that I was here
don't waste a tear
I'm not here
but memories are
make some new ones
live with me in your heart
find strength and go on

Don't close your eyes to tomorrow
live every day and remember me
don't hold your head in sorrow
smile as I am not forgotten
wake every day as I cannot
and make it count
smile that I was here
don't waste a tear
I'm not here
but memories are
make some new ones
live with me in your heart
find strength and go on

He is so tall yet leaves me small
Hears nothing but captures all
He is brave strong yet weak to stay
He acts sweet but goes away
He offers little takes alot
Gently loves yet leaves a knot
Seems so kind yet cuts you short
He builds you up  then knocks you down
Gives you the world in words his spell
The pull from underfoot in seconds once his chase is done
It's not the destination
or the journey he will seek
But the chase and unexpected
That's what keeps him on his feet
For me it is the company of a soul so true and kind
But in his reach to keep me away
I sadly fall so deep
So now I must allow the dance to take whatever form
Not think inside my head
Just enjoy his manly charm
Accept that he is untucked
Accept he has  flaws
And just enjoy his company
In what ever shape or form
For i will sometimes have him
As my very own
But I can enjoy the moments
And never feel alone

When the breeze blows I feel your gentle embrace , when the sun rises
Your the warmth on my face,
When  the moon shines bright the misty moor aglow I see you  
Shine hello,
When your tears in raindrops fall on my hair
I'll know its you
Saying you care
And when you gently turn on the stars
I'll know your safe  in the dark.
If I ever want to see your face I just look at my children their eyes you shine through them and always be near
And I'll gently kiss them and say  nannas near

Lying under the surface of the wake
Toss and turn and horror  break
Grasping image minds mistake
Although you walk around and act
Doing all whats needed track
Looking through a clear blue mist
Forgotten days the closed kiss
Cannot wake from the drowning reverie
Only glipse your hope of being free

No matter when I ask no matter how I try
When it comes  to trusting some one
I have to let it die
As I am totally alone
No one will rescue me
No power do left or right
I have no one to see
I try to say what's on my mind but words still reverie
And I try so hard to believe that some one believes in me
Being left alone and not wanted anymore
It leaves you totally alone and broken dropped upon a floor it's not even that she didn't care or that she left me there
It's just I cannot trust again because hope isn't there
There's nothing there for me there never really was
just emptiness and promise of the unspoken words

I sit here in the window still
The curtains closed my mind is too
But up above I see you moon
Cool your glow to save me soon
I wish for just a better school
So I don't run from them
I fear each day its coming soon
But still I speak no doom
Just think of a better day in June when she was here before the grey
Of summers warm and apple pie
Of skipping ropes
Of open sky
Lay upon the greenest grass
Looking up to you
Hoping you will hear me call
Then the sky turns grey
The storm comes and grabs like clay
The musty smell of well I know
The swirling grating of the bones
The feeling words cannot unfold
The ice it burns like swirling knots
Terrifying if you rock
The ceiling here you seem to be looking down on untold verse the pictures with words  you cannot explain
The depths of which you can't retain
Be still for cooling breeze is here no more to fight no-one to fear
But never even she'd a tear nore spill a word you hear
Or storm return and bones be crushed
The dragon tiny with you trust
Be quiet be still
Now leave the sleep wake fast get dressed return to floor make fast to bed before the storms crash your head fill it full of fairy's wings tiny dragons pens and rings paint the picture of the wall of mysterious woods with adventure in store slip through the trees meet the hare talk to the deer and sleep soundly there
Ignore the twists that scrape the branch ignore the flower that has no dance
Just hold on tight to little dragon he will help you always here he will help you see no fear

I actually fear a distant dance the wolves , the air its chill.
The  clash of stars to throw. a break upon the quill.
I hear the call , an eco of
the wolf who comes to me.
Who sits upon the moon lit hill
to set the badger free.
The hare be still a jumping beat creates a different winters cheat , but still the shadows roam my feet.
October once again you creep into my life and severe me
Why once a child to slay I grew
now once again you speak no truth to play
Take what you will the wolf has gone , the moon won't light the way .
Disappear but when the frost of winter chills appear
I see u still and capture in at fear you cannot ****
I can free the deer now
No time to freeze the moon

I feel so shaky i feel so hot
Its so so dark inside
A gripping knot that twists and turns
Inside my body the pain it burns
I cannot breath there is no air
A crushing pain i cant compare
I try to breath but theres no air like im drowning but no water there
Im so afraid i try to stand to reach for you to hold my hand
But if i do the shadows will come
I can not speak only be numb
Then ill be fine and ill be safe
No one can touch me if im not awake

Into dark and deep and true the past it opens up to you .
Into Woods and caves and sea.
Into wild and untamed tree.
Shallows up the night grows long.
Drawing sword and door still strong.
Climbs the ruins of the new.
Storm it runs the dragons draw.
Though the skin the darkness claw.
Turn again see it new.
Glimp Into a future thaw.
No terror begins no terror ends.
Snow falls a drift in icy winds.
Yet warm you stay a light it glows.
Keeping safe and words stay still.
No speak of any other words.
Only hear the song of hers.
Light the brightest star afloat .
Light the berries and tough the soul.
Entre new the wolf is here protect the innocent from fear.
Take the fire and melt its snow.
Bring in the soft streams gentle flow.
For now the wolf she stands alone and others now can call her home.
Be still now listen there is no fear as angels they are near .
Strength collides with kindle heart and remember safe light in the dark.
Be still and follow who you are

Into darkness waters deep
Cut the steel of creeper wrath
Empty safe a shallow tomb
Angel of the oceam doom
Take away the shallow one
No sign of what evil was done
No care for how the evil slay
No one to save her no one to help
Drop like stones upon the rocks
No more safe or hidden cloth
Slip away as moring comes
Like only dream can do
Until No sign of her at all  
My once a gentle tomb
Now when the ocean calls your name
Elisabeth I hide in shame
No telling of your name
No marks of all the pain
Only waters wash away
Only memories fade away
No words to speak
For silence still
You speak and they will swiftly seek
Your Life will also end asleep
But somewhere up in heavens stars
Your safe and still shine in the dark
And I know you were once of me
A beautiful Angel now set free
U was a child what could I do
To rescue me to rescue you
Only the universe can stop them
While I stay in the dark

Once again she sits on the moonlit window still
Look out from high towers
Across the meadow hill
He came to her once and lifted her away
To a castle full of light and a place that they would stay
But as the darkness fell she hurried to her tower
Before the evil captur could catch her with his claw
The wirling of the icy wind the trees surrounded tall
Wondering if her knight would even hear her call
She dreams in sleepy shadows longing for his reach
That he would one day reach her find the tower
Slay the dragon beast
Climb the misty hill reach out for his sword
Breakdown the walls of capture
And take her too his keep
As she stands looking the steep and dark beneath
Since fear now grips her she is far from his reach
Only way to escape is to fear the fall beneath
But fear it holds her tight the knight he falls her sleep
In the morning she wakes
He's no longer there and once again her captur pulls her to his lair
She wishes for the open door the twisted braids of fate
That soon she will be free and he will rescue her too late

The fear of letting go
I know it's fear of the unknown
Seeing if I walk alone
Although you gone
In steps I move
I'm afraid I have to choose
Be be alone again I dread
No one there to hold the thread
So afraid I'll fall again
I'm falling now and it not yet dead
Added to the the endless sleep
Scared of what may lie beneath
I know it's fear that holds me back
There's no way out
And no way back
What happens when the curtain falls
No one to find no one to call
I'm so afraid to be alone
I'm so afraid to be alone
X

I fall straight threw
You rip the tears straight through
You came to me i wasn't even looking
And ripped through my soul like I was still free
Told me the story I heard it outlook
Saw me coming like stars in a cloud
Twisted and turn me like i was  no good
Then equally balanced my heart with your blood
Pretended you loved me and gave me your heart
Took mine freely and  ripped it apart
Instantly left a soon as I cried
Now I'm alone and totally dead pretend you can't even text me
Like you ain't got moment you vex me
Take your ******* your spin your lines cast them aside like you did with my mind

I try so hard to reach within
But darker waters close me in
I try so hard to stop the fall
I try so hard to see it all
It doesn't matter I can not reach
I want to trust you I want to speak
So afraid to say it all
So afraid to let you in
I cannot see what lies within

I just don't know how to free my self
The loss the fear  the empty speech
I want to scream I want to shout
My tears are glass reflect the light
Hiding shadows of the night
I feel I failed myself again
Just don't know how to grasp the pain

The shadows running wild inside my mind
The truth inside me hard to find
Its late the night is closing in
Where do I go where to begin
I dance the tune of evils crime
Yet cannot find the words or time
Is it too late to reach again try to tell of one's true pain

Hear the sound of silence
Enter waters mist
Draw back a cotton window
Gentle breeze lifts your smile
Soft meadow you walk a while
Under neath the bows you pass
Tread the green cool grass
See into the stream of life the crystal waves of light that pass
The hands of one so loving reach
Hold the space for you to seek
Warm days gentle tree
Walk ahead inside your free
Search inside you'll see
Learn to live in peace
just
let it be...

Our Bridge.


Into darkness once again but now it's different 

Because I've learnt to fall a little way

See a little of what went before but never be dragged with in its claw

As now a bridge I see is there it's wobbly yes but still secure

It's made of rope, it swings and rocks 

Even if  I let go it holds me firm

So I can see what lies beneath 

But never again will I fall so deep

For now I choose if I let go 

You see I built a bridge I know

I'm still aware of the void beneath, the loss , the pain, the endless sleep, the fear

But now i can choose to look I can choose to see or even feel

But never again can I fall in

You see

 as I built a bridge for my child within

She cannot live in fear now 

She has my love tied in its secure enough to hold us both 

Entwined together our bridge

Is love

Yes the void is deep and dark 

But the fear has gone now the bridge is there it's so strong it can not break 

You see its made from strength I found one day 

It was buried inside too scared to try to scared to climb

But as an adult I entwined it with love it grew

Now my child has the strength to climb 

She is with me now safe and dry 

She does not need to hide or cry or remember the fear

She only has to walk along side me holding my hand ever so tightly 

The love I have for her is the bridge that can never break it's strong and yet it can swing so we still get to have childish fun 

it has beautiful flowers it has strong arms it can lift us up so high 

It's our bridge so high above 

Above the fall 

The past is left the pain has gone

The fear is dropped into the void as its to heavy for our bridge 

but the happy memories fly with us above 

All we have to do is walk along our bridge.

Yes this time it's different I can only look over and down but I cannot fall now as fear has gone and our love is one me and my little girl 

Our bridge

By Fallen Angel 

19th February 2016

Aug 2016

Our Bridge.


Into darkness once again but now it's different

Because I've learnt to fall a little way

See a little of what went before but never be dragged with in its claw

As now a bridge I see is there it's wobbly yes but is still secure

It's made of rope, it swings and rocks

Even if  I let go it holds me firm

So I can see what lies beneath

But never again will I fall so deep

For now I choose if I let go

You see I built a bridge I know

I'm still aware of the void beneath, the loss , the pain, the endless sleep, the fear

But now i can choose to look I can choose to see or even feel

But never again can I fall in

You see

as I built a bridge for my child within

She cannot live in fear now

She has my love tied in its secure enough to hold us both

Entwined together our bridge

Is love

Yes the void is deep and dark

But the fear has gone now the bridge is there it's so strong it can not break

You see its made from strength I found one day

It was buried inside too scared to try to scared to climb

But as an adult I entwined it with love it grew

Now my child has the strength to climb

She is with me now safe and dry

She does not need to hide or cry or remember the fear

She only has to walk along side me holding my hand ever so tightly

The love I have for her is the bridge that can never break it's strong and yet it can swing so we still get to have childish fun

it has beautiful flowers it has strong arms it can lift us up so high

It's our bridge so high above

Above the fall

The past is left the pain has gone

The fear is dropped into the void as its to heavy for our bridge

but the happy memories fly with us above

All we have to do is walk along our bridge.

Yes this time it's different I can only look over and down but I cannot fall now as fear has gone and our love is one me and my little girl

Our bridge

By Fallen Angel

19th February 2016
xxxMorning starxxx

*** Fallen Angel ***


Into darkness once again but now it's different

Because I've learnt to fall a little way

See a little of what went before but never be dragged with in its claw

As now a bridge I see is there it's wobbly yes but still secure

It's made of rope, it swings and rocks

Even if  I let go it holds me firm

So I can see what lies beneath

But never again will I fall so deep

For now I choose if I let go

You see I built a bridge I know

I'm still aware of the void beneath, the loss , the pain, the endless sleep, the fear

But now i can choose to look I can choose to see or even feel

But never again can I fall in

You see

as I built a bridge for my child within

She cannot live in fear now

She has my love tied in its secure enough to hold us both

Entwined together our bridge

Is love

Yes the void is deep and dark

But the fear has gone now the bridge is there it's so strong it can not break

You see its made from strength I found one day

It was buried inside too scared to try to scared to climb

But as an adult I entwined it with love it grew

Now my child has the strength to climb

She is with me now safe and dry

She does not need to hide or cry or remember the fear

She only has to walk along side me holding my hand ever so tightly

The love I have for her is the bridge that can never break it's strong and yet it can swing so we still get to have childish fun

it has beautiful flowers it has strong arms it can lift us up so high

It's our bridge so high above

Above the fall

The past is left the pain has gone

The fear is dropped into the void as its to heavy for our bridge

but the happy memories fly with us above

All we have to do is walk along our bridge.

Yes this time it's different I can only look over and down but I cannot fall now as fear has gone and our love is one me and my little girl

Our bridge

By Fallen Angel

19th February 2016
*** Fallen Angel ***
Written by
*** Fallen Angel ***

I have swords from every battle
Choose enough to build
High a ladder from the steel
Open up a wall to climb
Open up so hi I climb
Sun is there no wind or rain
Empty out leave the pain
To heal I will once again
On top of mountain lay
Heaven is the chosen place
Everlasting love and space
A life of love and light and hope
Lasts for ever as I will float

If i could just be an angel just for one day
id take all the love I have to give and quickly fly away
id hide somewhere no one could find me
then when it was safe id pray
I would fly to a friend who loved me
and in their heart id stay
until at last id not be afraid
to do just what i say
to be able to love completely
without feeling guilty or ill
until the day I'm stronger
to run away to you
ill have to sit and wonder
what it would be like to be free
to be with you
Now 5 years have past and finally im yours at last
My love my life
Im free at last

I try so hard to understand the pictures in my mind
I try so very hard to see what I once left behind
I walk the line in narrow streets
Heavy walls close in on me
I try so hard to do things right
To live a day to sleep a night
My bodies tired my mind is fast
Full of scared an angry past
Full of pain and dread and fear
Wanting to get out of here
I don't know how to make it stop
The feelings of fear the churning knots
the deepest cut inside my soul the angry words
the masks at windows starring in
The sound of footprints closing in
The fear of being dragged within
The fear this time of giving in
Of standing there letting it in
No longer able to fight the din
Clawing at the bridge of rope another door another room
Another evil to consume
Another evil to endure
Same sounds of shadows pass
Same feel of cold and draft
Then the smell like tar pitch black like cariasote you paint a fence
Then darkness and silence your only friend
You wake your body bones an skin crawling flesh that burns within
You shake like snow has fallen hard
So cold so tired and leg bones pull and twist so sharp
My jaw it aches my ears too ringing silence rips you through
Storms over but no escape
Nightmares gone but you never wake
Instead beneath the ice you swim
Always silent closed within
afraid to speak to let it in
Just swim and swim don't scream  don't ever ever let it in

I am the tiny one of four I little imp I was before.
I lived in wolves caves long ago
Where winters frost bit hard
But beauty I glistened loved by snow
Spring days upon the grass I grew
nutured loved and safe with you
The broken child I tried to save
Became a sign I can't be chained
Although the fear of winds and storm
You kept me safe and still and warm.
The fairies whispered in the night
The garden lit by candle light
Another tale a trip to be a signal of enertity
But in the caves deep by the sea they never captured mermaids see
For in the misty deep deep path
Only light shone through the gaps
The day came and she was gone but fairies light my path
For even in the hollow dwell and in the sadness I'm still well
I journeyed far and all around
Got my feet on holy ground
Broken arrow steal hearts
Make it fun and keep it smart
Laughter fills with every turn
Make waves so big you yearn
dive so deep you cannot see but into wrecks you seek
Excitement captures every minute
You feel like your awake
Fly so hight sore above
From longmind to the lawly
From Middleton to Wales
Keep flying high I touch the sky even with the broken wings
The beauty of the little ones the beauty that he brings
My beautiful children so happy playing in the winds
The time of bug and campervans
Festivals and hot air balloons
Drunken nights at white ladies priory watching movies all night long
The anchor and its stories
The boats as they go by
The chief with looks that score me and funny he walks by
I am so happy driving my bug along the sea
Top down shades on and all around my friends they true will be
The nights we had under the star lit canopy
I remember being lonely but didn't last for long
As always with this story
A new friend comes along
So much love I've given and so much love recieved
The kindest man before me of which I've never seen
Pictures painted on my skin
Colours every where
And even when the shadows come
The light he shines outwits them
One upon another time when snow was on the ground he held my hands and told me his love would never end
I trust in him and hold his love for my soul be true and will always follow the light in him the warm the kind the true
Be afraid to lose another
Or whisper soft and hear
That in my sadness you appear and thousands of stars do fall
And in the morning light I'm safe for he is always near
And even when the story ends and a journey taken elsewhere I'll know he always had my heart
And never turned his back
So sunshine love and lasting light forever I'll be true
To what you once created and what I always knew
That no matter how bad life's story you can still be you **

Please let me sleep.

Sometimes I lie awake at night
The shadows they creep in
I sometime close my eyes so tight
Don't want the darkness in
I'm so afraid to cry a tear
Scared to let you know
That deep inside my darkest fear
There's no where I can go
Some times I run just get away
The storm it closes in
So heavy on my chest it beats
The sound that hides within
I go into the darkest place so no one sees within
I cry so much of shame and scream so loud I can not hear
I need someone to hold me tight
To stop me running through the night
I'm afraid that if I'm left alone
I'll run into a burning light
I'm so afraid so deep the shame
I feel ill never breathe again
I feel so sick my stomach tight
Dear god please get me through the night
Just another 20 feet the feelings pass please let me sleep
Please let me sleep

Poetry is a way of escaping from reality
Making words dance and come alive
A way of expressing deep coloured tapestry
Bringing it to life its creativety
Clearing the shadows of my mind
Opening new doors for me to find

Colours burn into my mind
Twisting turning open wide
Rain is beating in the heart
like tears of years untold apart
Hoping someone soon will come
Hold the sword bring the sun
Take away the shadows there
Pull me up from their angry glare
Soft the hare runs on by rushing foe the open sky
The deer sits to scared to move
As the sword is near the hunters loom
Little one has found a dream to captivate to stop the scream
She reaches out and with his light
She enters into a new life
Anchors tight they pull her back
She fights and braves the open door
But still she hears the voice the chill
The evil broken heavy still
Still calls but noone comes and never will along as storms are crashing through

When the breeze blows
I feel your gentle embrace
When the sun rises
Your the warmth on my face
When  the moon shines bright
The misty moor aglow
I see you Shine hello,
When your tears in raindrops
Fall on my hair
I'll know its you
Saying you care
When you gently turn on the stars
I'll know your safe in the dark
If I ever want to see your face
I just look at my children's eyes
You shine through them and always be here
And I'll gently kiss them and say  nannas near

First time I saw her Selling Roses in the Street her hair golden tied in twisted braids of blue and yellow.
Her smile hiding tired turns
Her voice hid unspoken words
She gave the flowers to the people ask
Wondered where to who the Roses pass
Said hello but noone knew her name
The girl who sold the Roses in the rain
Hiding tears and sorrow in her heart she was whitty careful smart
Finished for the day the empty starts
To a dark and empty place she darts
Where pain and  hurt that noone saw
Still tomorrow up to walj again
smiles and sells her Roses all the same.
Smiles and says hello to some what else
Waiting for the day that someone knows her name
Hope they will see her through the rain
Hoping to be held and safe return
Before the hooky thorns slice through the vein
And empty crimson waters flow the nightmares end
One day she was there
And then was slain
Then new girl upon the stall
No question asked no call
But walk through the street to town again
Sometimes a runs through chills in me
See her ghost selling roses in the rain
Noone thought to ask her
Where she came
9nly shadows call her name

It's OK little  hare has grown
She has her own little hare inside
Sometimes she keeps her warm and safe and most of the time she's well
But occasionally the tears fill the page but it's ok as hare is here to wipe away her tears and hold her close until the sun appears and all is well
She just needs to know your near in case she tumbles out
To safely took her back inside
Be a blanket around her soft and safe and free from harm
Sun's here bright and waiting for you to create and celebrate
As you are still home
It's gonna be ok

I look for warmth as I am here to be loved and gently lit
I am a sweet and gentle soul
Yet strong enough to lift
A little more of wisdom
and a little less of fear
I search for company of wolves at night
In daylight I am fair
I can be free and creative
I can be an angel at times
I also can be the unpredictable
And release my inner thor