Through the deep blue I dived deep
Through the slices red you slaughtered me
Through the yellow sunlight hear your warmth
In still the cold ice white I hid the thought
Slowly grew to shallow call of green
Open to a world not yet seen
Giving little till the purple came
Washed me in a colour grey
Now the dark I see the bright new stars
Not so scary when your still

I see it over there
I see it in the sitting room while I'm sat on the stair
A place I often found myself
Sitting in the window shelf
Early hours hearing you screaming crashing tone
Angry sounds and banging doors
Little one I hide alone
Hope a little deer doesn't lose her little smile
Hoping that the hare is out and gently bounces home
Hoping that the moon still shone and owls still listen near
Staring up into the moon
Wish you to return
WHAT If SHEs gone
A promise often said
Made a child tremble fear
On being left for others prey
When she is gone the shadows come
WHAT WAS THAT
SHE LEFT THE SEWING BOX BEHIND
AS THEY MAY NEED IT
To slowly stitch up slices  flesh or simply tie a knot
So to LETS STITCH UP our empty hearts
Say no more im through
torn another night we are
apart
from  THAT was MADE
Then broke
WHEN A NEW LIFE she has torn
CHILDREN and we are older don't need another now
LETS STITCH UP THE EMPTY HEART THAT CAN NEVER HEAL
THERE WILL ALWAYS BE AN EMPTY SPACE
THAT CAN NOT BE FILLED nor be replaced by any other
CAN NOT BE BRIDGE OR cover
AND WILL NEVER HEAL
SHE IS GONE,
MY LOVELY MOTHER
WHO I COULDN'T BEAR TO BE PARTED FROM
SHE IS GONE
WHY NOT LEAVE MY MOTHER
AS WE MAY NEED HER
Why not leave my mother
No I chose you made me choose you asked me and I said
yes go I'm fine
But I meant don't go
I'm alone here.
don't leave please god please don't leave the sewing box lying in the hall
I'll have to take the scissors out and leave a scar for sure
Stitches do not heal scars you are afraid to show
Stitches only make you see all soon I'll have to go
Now leave or im to go
But I may leave no box
Nor in a box shall leave
Alone
For now shes gone and I am lost

Shallow waters now apear
Faster tides flow over here
Grasping onto to any rocks
Trying hard to hide the knocks
Bring about a deeper dive
Into unknown water strive
Fade away in colours bright
Anthing to just get through the night
Now another yet untold
Start to dim the dark the cold

I danced the tale the song of love within your heart
But in the silence you drowned me and tore our love apart 💔

November, her grasp of darkest storm
Hunts the coldest deepest forest before the winter's snow
Still the small and fragile lie in fear
She strikes with vengeance straight into their soul
Only shallow breath can now be heard
Slayed in night and cold dead waters curd
No one to save the gentle loving smile
No one to take away to terrors bile
Of memory's  once forgotten dream
A light of moon a dance once on a stream
A summer day with lazy waves and wine
A love of a child playing in the sun
Now sleep for in your wake the summer comes
And you are safe
For the storm has gone
They will get the last of me
But for you the dream is not complete
You will go on the stage is yours to speak

Somewhere in time.

I came across a hill side somewhere quiet and still
Once a hopeful dream of mine
Set alight in a moment with you.
A gentle loving smile
Eyes that lift your heart
A pull towards the body
A kiss that capture still

Words you speak i hear
Though colours may be true
The gentle stroke of hands
A picture I paint of you

If I were to unfold
the canvas of my heart
Would you take your brush
And create a Space be still

And once the masterpiece
Finally revealed
Would the hunt be over
Never to repeat

Rejected once again  fallen from the stars
I had the taste of love until you gave up on me
I begged and pleaded but you drowned me in your silence
Now im all alone again and lost in all the empty
I tried so hard to see you but you just kept me hanging
I get you didn't want me anymore but that was just too cruel
Another lesson I have to learn don't let another in
Dont open up your heart for them to wonder In
They will just take your energy
Take just what they like
Then cut you leave you reject you
And not care about your life
Learn little deer to hide away again
Spring will soon be here
and you will smile again
Find a real heart someone who really loves you
Who will actually show they care
And then yourll know your safe and
They will never leave

stand and be counted
Or run and hide away
Cross me burn me hate me
But i won't ask you why
Take away my value
Understand the fear
But you don't even know me
And you certainly didn't care
So ask you once politely
Hurt me again you dare
I come to you uninvited
Then slice you unaware

When summer breezes came.
The sun's warmth a golden crisp of time
Melts the cold ice inside of you
No more broken winters bite
No more tears by candle light
No more burns of frost at night
No more chills the winds of fright
Only warmth if summers glow and song of birds
And trickle of the stream now flow
Gentle waters warm a fragile heart
Till strong a smile and eyes they see no dark
Yellow is now all that melts your day and ice cold blue it melts away.
Be happ free dont let the walls now climb
Only honey suckle light to gaze upon.
Open up a flower of new light
The spring still has a whisper in the night
Take a gentle brush its colours bright
On a new canvas now you write...

Taken lost broken wings
No idea of sweetest things
Angry night in storms she fell
Straight into a frozen hell
Sreaming through thee mist the rain
Noone knows her fate
Spell untill the dream awakes
Still the lady of the lake
Open up another night
Only love can hold her fright
Still she sits on silent grass
Noone see her fading light
Echoed silence falls the night
Fall into a crimson light

Tears in the rain  a new day
Hearts heavy with pain
No words to say
Lives broken torn ripped away
Yet in the sorrow I hear them say
How why where next
All are united in earth's quest
Our tiny planet surrounded by stars
A beautiful home
Being pulled apart
I don't know how this journey ends
But the earth still turns
And warmth the sun sends
Why when tiny flowers grow
And mountains last eternity
Can not they see the world around
Why can't they hear life's natural sound
Mother earth is still
Around
Bringing rain to wash away
People of earth join forever
Help her keep our earth together
Look around you hear her call
love each other don't let us fall
Stand up with love for those in trouble
Hold their hands show them love
Until this world can fear no
more
Tears in the rain hear our call

The day you came to hold the space
to want to know the pain
To invest your time and all your will to listen to my pain
A hold so strong yet gentle too
A heart i understood
The warm kind words and warm embrace that helped me feel so  safe
Understanding others pain and how to set them free
A gift I can only guess the universe sent to me
Freedom and safe space to begin a journey together
To help me find a child lost and change my mind forever
I love you like an angel like you may never see
A real love from someone who means no harm to me
Taking my hands and giving me a thought I may belong
Kept me safe and cared for and made me feel  I'm strong
I was so scared of letting go the fear it held me trapped
But slowly you helped me to heal
all the tiny little gaps
You showed me a strand of light I had almost  forgot
and a beautiful inner peace
The pain I can un knot
That if I hadn't met you
My light i wouldn't see.
I love you so with all my heart
A love of being free
It's like a tiny little star shinning bright in me
I'm so afraid I'll lose you and I'll be left alone
But I hope you won't let got and the light can still shine on
Stay with me and I promise I'll try to hold on
I promise I'll be strong
And even I the darkest storm I know I still belong
An anchor for eternity
You gave  a light  to me and I hope that in return
You recieved a light from me

From the north in cold of night silently they came
Bringing with them trails of gold and weapons no strong man could hold
In the dawn they cast out fire
Take away the free
But the one small thing they hadn't seen
Was the galliant swords of Stepney
As while the enermy slept
a kingdom slayed and all its treasure found she sliced there hearts and without their knowing captured all minds and took their health there strength and left them crippled bent and blind
Then left the cool and crimson sight
Disappearing in the fright

O GLAD SHE LEFT THE SEWING BOX
I see it over there
I see it in the sitting room while I'm sat on the stair
A place I often found myself
Sitting in the window shelf
Early hours hearing you screaming crashing tone
Angry sounds and banging doors
Little one I hide
Hope a little deer doesn't lose her little smile
Hoping that the hare is out and gently bounces here
Hoping that the moon still shone and owls still listen hear
Staring up into the moon
Wish you to return
WHAT If SHEs gone
A promise often said
Made a child tremble fear
On being left for others fun
When she is gone the shadows come
WHAT WAS THAT
SHE LEFT THE SEWING BOX BEHIND FOR THE GIRLS
AS THEY MAY NEED IT
WHAT
To slowly stitch up slices  flesh or simply tie a knot
So to LETS STITCH UP our empty hearts
Say no more its done
RIPPED  THROUGH anf torn another night we are through
apart from
HEART THAT SHE MADE
Then broke
WHEN A NEW LIFE she has sort
SHE WANTED another MORE THAN HER CHILDREN and we are older don't need a mother
LETS STITCH UP THE EMPTY of MY HEART THAT CAN NEVER HEAL
THERE WILL ALWAYS BE AN EMPTY SPACE
THAT CAN NOT BE FILLED nor be replaced by any other
CAN NOT BE BRIDGE OR cover
AND WILL NEVER HEAL
SHE IS GONE,
MY LOVELY MOTHER
WHO I COULDN'T BEAR TO BE PARTED FROM
SHE IS GONE
WHY NOT LEAVE MY MOTHER BEHIND
AS WE MAY NEED HER
No I chose you made me choose you asked me and I said
yes go I'm fine
But I meant don't go
I'm dying here.
don't leave please god please don't leave the sewing box lying in the hall
I'll have to take the scissors out and leave a scar for sure
Stitches do not heal scars you are afraid to show
Stitches only make you see all soon I'll have to go
Now leave or im to go
But I may leave no box
Nor in a box shall leave
Alone

Once again its there lurking in the dark
Start off very smart pretend your fair
Try to hide but no escape
I try to talk you round and send kind words I found
Yet intentions are your quest
You try to underscore
But in fear I am best
So don't think for one second think you have me in your grasp
For the fire of the dragon will cross you with its wrath
To those who love me guide me
To those who hurt beware
If your intention is to find me
im not anywhere
If your intention is to take
me to a secret dark cold place
I've been there and survived it its boring and its bare
So try being my friend ill give you my whole life but try to hurt control me
I'll cut you like a knife

I am the waves of time stood still
The whisper in the wind
I am the child once left behind
But strong enough to grow
To break away from sadness
And catch a loving spell
I am the close of winters chill
I am the summers light
I'll cut so deep if captured
Yet softly drown for voice
And if I am not given
I'll take it in the night
I am a little cautious
But don't be  misunderstood
If there is something I desire
I'll dry the quiet flood

So they thought they were the rightful ones
Painting it all
Red
Sending out their dragons to claw away the flesh

Why did I allow you time
I knew you were not true
Still in let you in
Even from the start
I knew how it would end
Stop my beating heart
Why did I even let you alone upon my hill to gently care to love me and the severe me straight through
You stole my heart completely
Broke my very soul
And left me all alone inside
After I gave my heart to you 💔

So afraid to be alone to scared to leap the new unknown
Scared to stand to stand alone
Its always here when I'm alone
I'm so afraid I cannot tell
I'm living in this secret hell
I try to turn to fight the fear
But I'm afraid they're always near
I need a hand but Im alone
so cold in here so far from home
I wish for you to pull me out
make it go just get them out
Then I can walk in sun and rain
Never hide from shadows again
I cannot do it on my own
I tried so hard but I'm losing time
I'm so afraid I cannot swim
Its just no use he won't give in
He just wont leave he will not go
I'm not  allowed  to be free let go
I tried so hard this time I know
But it just gets stronger its twists
It claws at every inch of me
Until i stop reaching for me
I wish you could just set me free
Just take away the pain
Just take away the pain
Just cover me with sin or rain
So they no longer see me
So i can run away get away hide away
So they cant hurt me again

Why does my heart hurt
Why do i long for the love
The pain just burns inside
I want so much to be held to be loved
To feel deep passion to be loved
To be wanted
Im so alone so lost
I have to stop my heart before i fall once more
Before its too late to save myself again
My wings are not strong i cannot fly to my loves arms
I can only weep inside and long for something ill never have because im just too lost my wings too hurt to try

I fly to close each time i try
So warm its glow i dont know why
No hand to hold or guide me in
Yet drawn to heat im going in
Try to sleep but there is no rest
Just open doors and chaos quest
In to shadows sometimes see
Like darkness comes and takes over me
Then the light so bright it burns
Just want to fly want to return
Get out break free complete the best
Just leave be free sleep at last
Into woods i venture free
Lose my mind find my soul
Im free

I am forever trapped inside the hollow dwell
Underneath the stair and under villa dwell
I am forever trapped within your secret void
Never to discover never to be free
Scratched in the rancin ink from your dark souls they smother me
The words i dread  pour through me though faded through the years occasionally consume me
fill my heart with tears
Your evil words tear through me somewhere deep within
I forgot to lock the gate again and allowed you to wonder in
My bones still ache at night
The twisted knots
Still tight
I toss and turn you wake me
Shadows claw me through the night

I try so hard to understand the pictures in my mind
I try so very hard to see what I once left behind
I walk the line in narrow streets
Heavy walls close in on me
I try so hard to do things right
To live a day to sleep a night
My bodies tired my mind is fast
Full of scared an angry past
Full of pain and dread and fear
Wanting to get out of here
I don't know how to make it stop
The feelings of fear the churning knots
the deepest cut inside my soul the angry words
the masks at windows starring in
The sound of footprints closing in
The fear of being dragged within
The fear this time of giving in
Of standing there letting it in
No longer able to fight the din
Clawing at the bridge of rope another door another room
Another evil to consume
Another evil to endure
Same sounds of shadows pass
Same feel of cold and draft
Then the smell like tar pitch black like cariasote you paint a fence
Then darkness and silence your only friend
You wake your body bones an skin crawling flesh that burns within
You shake like snow has fallen hard
So cold so tired and leg bones pull and twist so sharp
My jaw it aches my ears too ringing silence rips you through
Storms over but no escape
Nightmares gone but you never wake
Instead beneath the ice you swim
Always silent closed within
afraid to speak to let it in
Just swim and swim don't scream  don't ever ever let it in

He saw her once again her gentle loving smile
Went to see her hoping she was his
He didnt ask her for her love
Only chose to take
Got swallowed up in fire
A dragon his mistake
As beauty from her love he quickly stole away
And in return his life in anger dragons slay
When crossing her heart beware
In stillness and in light
If you dare to harm her
Your taken come the night

When storms began : Swirling round its whirling sound  it shadows dancing  
The still garden iced hard the winters ****
The sun shines yet melted lake you never see  
Shadows still claw inside of me
The grass so green flowers softest blue  
Yet colours range and angry shade all true.
The wind it works and catches strong
Leap unknown the wall
Taken every finest part they find and now after months of closed behind  
Taken once again the wind its comes ripping though and taking once again
No chance to even say the word good bye they cry
it leaves you there in silence
Water washes crimson waves to blue  
And once again your voice stolen from you
Years pass the wind now gone
But waves of memories flood each part it’s true
How could winds be broken and cut through like a knife
when walls of silence
Close on you
Dont speak don't shed a tear
As if you do the walls again appear  
And in the broken storm torn they call your name Alone to stay you carry all the shame.
Inside the walls the wind still knows your name
If you speak your life wont be the same

So now you see new sky above  
Sunshine yellow full of love
A smile between small clouds you've seen  
Soar above don't spiral down
Know you are loved you cannot drown
In between the words you speak
Tears like rivers flow some deep
Believe the love inside your strong
Just hold on tight you do belong
Beneath is now warm air its light
And dreams are much less of fear at night
Only push the shadows aside
Inside a child smiling waits
Dances for the open gates
Opens up the world outside
No more tied your sadness strings
Inside you found where love begins
Learn to fly your angels wings

Why would u
Pretend betray be nice
Just to rip it from. Under ice
Why would you pretend then stake me in the heart
Drive your knife straight through my heart
Like I'm just your prey inthe night
I'm frozen on your silence
You treated me like a fool and broke me like I'm just a peice of broken life
Something divided between dark and light
I showed you my truth the complete light
Opened my soul and stopped the flight
But then u broke me like I'm nothing
A ghost in your light
Some you could damage leave in the dark and abuse my heart
Leave me to cry
Now leave me the alone so I can mend my heart
Please 🙏  leave me alone

I danced the tale the song of love within your heart
But in the silence you drowned me and tore my love  apart 💔

Why did I allow you time to get into my car get into my bonnet
Stop my beating heart
Why did I even let you alone upon my hill to gently care to love me and the sever me straight through
You stole my heart completely
Broke my very soul
And left me all alone inside
After I gave my heart to you 💔

You held me

Held safe i cry forbidden pain
My body guarded
My heart open
I cry unknowing with the child in me
Who could not be held
Who could not be free
Given up in darkness
I was all but letting go
And you held me
I was so scared id hardly drew my breath
And you held me
Now you see me
Looking into the windows of my soul
You hold me
Now im not alone yet still far from home
Abd you held me
But you too will soon let go and once again to darkness she will fall
And be lost to oceans call
Noone can save her because I let her go
I let her go
Am frozen in her fate
There's no escape noone can hold me the light always let go
You can't hold onto melting snow
Or to tears that do not flow
You can't hold onto the life inside
When in darkness they come
and slay your mind
And take from you your life your kind
There's no way out
I cannot find I cannot find
I cannot tell

Written in 2011 for he who held my hand untill I was not afraid to try
My friend

Written by

Morning Star

Held safe i cry forbidden pain
My body guarded
My heart open
I cry unknowing with the child in me
Who could not be held
Who could not be free
Given up in darkness
I was all but letting go
And you held me
I was so scared id hardly drew my breath
And you held me
Now you see me
Looking into the windows of my soul
You hold me
Now im not alone yet still far from home
You still held me
But you too will soon let go and once again to darkness she will fall
And be lost to oceans call
Noone can save her because I let her go
I let her go
Am frozen in her fate
There's no escape noone can hold me the light always let go
You can't hold onto melting snow
Or to tears that do not flow
You can't hold onto the life inside
When in darkness they come
and slay your mind
And take from you your life your kind
There's no way out
I cannot find I cannot find

Held safe i cry forbidden pain
My body guarded
My heart open
I cry unknowing with the child in me
Who could not be held
Who could not be free
Given up in darkness
I was all but letting go
And you held me
I was so scared id hardly drew my breath
And you held me
Now you see me
Looking into the windows of my soul
You hold me
Now im not alone yet still far from home
You still held me
But you too will soon let go and once again to darkness she will fall
And be lost to oceans call
Noone can save her because I let her go
I let her go
Am frozen in her fate
There's no escape noone can hold me the light always let go
You can't hold onto melting snow
Or to tears that do not flow
You can't hold onto the life inside
When in darkness they come
and slay your mind
And take from you your life your kind
There's no way out
I cannot find I cannot find