Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray to whoever my soul to keep
take my broken shattered heart instead

Maybe then the knot in my chest will lessen
And my shaky breath will steady
and my tears will run dry

Maybe then I wont fee so alone
I will feel like I am worth something again

My mind might not run images of us
day in and day out
I wont lay awake at night plagued by the nightmares of the
what ifs and if only's

I pray your memory becomes distant
and your name becomes just a word

I pray my heart heals soon
so I am not picking up its pieces anymore

I'm down on my knees
praying to whatever entity
that you wont haunt me anymore

this is my prayer for eternity

What happens when the beauty has lost her beast?
And a cold wind has blown its way into her heart?

A curse of her own cast itself upon her shattered world
What once brought her joy now brings tears of bitter sorrow.

Her kindness and love decay and rot within her
Their diseased death tainting her soul.

The burning fire of her spirit doused   With hate and anger.
Its smoke wailing to the heavens above.

From her bitter tears a rose is formed.
Its black velvet petals shiny with poisoned heartache

A petal will fall every sunset as her hatred grows.
Only to stop when her pain has ended.

And so they drop.
As lifeless as her world has become

Drop
The anger grows

Drop
Coiling in her veins

When they all rot
There will be no salvation

And the last rose petal fell

Just when I think I can to this
that I will make it through
this crushing weight descends
crashing into me leaving me breathless
tears build behind my eyes and I cant catch my breath
double over gasping thinking this will never end.


My heart has shattered
rebuilt
and shattered again
I don't know how many times
each time more painful then the last


How am I suppose to do this without you?
people tell me to focus on the good times to not think about you
well that is highly difficult when all my good times....
...were with you.
Don't think about the past this about the future
That is too painful when I built my future....
....around us.


People tell me to keep my chin up
that this pain will pass.
I don't want to keep my chin up
I want to curl up in a ball and cry my sorrows
I want to scream till my throat is raw
I want you to feel the pain you gave caused.


But most of all.......


*I just want you back....

You were
my own perfect piece
of Paradise


Why
would you think
being just friends
would suffice

Shush little girl
no one cares about your tears
they don't care that you're screaming out inside
They don't see the marks on your thighs

Shush little girl
they will only label you dramatic
stuff those feelings deep down inside
don't let them inconvenience any one else.

Just take the razor
and suffer in silence

Shush little girl
who gives a crap about you?
Smile, laugh, and act OK.
That's all they want to see and hear.

They're too busy with their own lives
to see the pain in yours

So Shush little girl
just take the razor
its your only friend anyway

clank
His words whisper to you
clash*
They bind you to his twisted world
clink
Shining armour so dark
clang
Taint your mind to his pleasure

snap
Rusty is his once strong power
crash
Free is your caged soul
thud
To the floor his ******* rests

Our love is like a bull in a china shop.
Where your words are the bull
And my heart is the china.

You tell me
"I love you"
"Youre worh waiting for"

the words "I love you"
Isnt enough anymore
Every letter every syllable
Sears into my heart
Cracking it like glass

I need you here with me
I need to feel your touch
To remember what its like
Before my shattering heart explodes

I think i finally understand that song
The one where she sing
"Killing me softly .. With his words"

I wont give up, I never will.
I'd rather die inside
Then let you go.
Im just terrified
Thats just whats going to happen.