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Emoni Jenkins Nov 2013
I love you
But I'm going to need you to stop asking me why I'm afraid of basements
Why I shy away from your touch
Why I scream in my sleep at night
Why I'm afraid of loving you too much
I can't tell you why I'm 19 and still afraid of the dark
Or why I'm afraid to sleep
Or why I never tell you about the secrets that I keep
I don't want to lie to you
But baby there are some things you'll never know
There are some burdens that I carry that I'm too afraid to  show
There are some places down inside me that your eyes will never see
There are some people in this world that have taken the best of me
I don't want to lose you
But baby I know you can't handle the truth
You see my scars as beautiful
I look at them as proof
The story of my childhood is craved into my skin
But I can't tell you how this particular book will end
Ask me no questions
And I'll tell you no lies
You cant never know that reasons that my heart is locked inside
Please just take me as I am
With my missing pieces and all
Please don't be like him
Be there to catch me when I fall
And above all else
Please
Stop asking me why I'm afraid of basements.
Emoni Jenkins Nov 2013
Sometimes I feel that depression is a terminal disease
And eventually I will die of a broken heart.
I feel that sunshine will only kiss my body as it lay cold
And that I will only see the beauty in daisies when I am pushing them up

Sometimes I feel that something in me is broken
Some secret unspoken
Something is a little off
Not right
And I've grown exhausted of the fight
To be normal
To blend
When asked as a child what I wanted to be when I grew up
I always said
I want to be okay

Sometimes I want the pain to end
But it's become my only friend
She covers me
Reminding me
That relief is only one swift flick of a blade across my wrists away
Once,  I almost listened to her

Sometimes I know I'm not okay
I stopped hiding the scars because I wanted you to see me
To save me
To hold me close and not let me go
Because if you did I'd slip into the black hole
That I've labeled my soul
And get lost in there

Sometimes I get scared
Sometimes I cry
And sometimes I just exist
And let myself feel
And hope things will get better
Because sometimes
That's all I have to hold on to.
Emoni Jenkins Nov 2013
To the cutie that helped my heart mend
              I hoped we'd be together in the end
                         To hold me at night
                                   And kiss me at mornings first light
                                              But as it would be you're in love with my best friend
My first go at a limerick
Emoni Jenkins Oct 2013
Sing me to sleep
Oh dreamer of dreams
Make love to me sandman
And take me away
Show me the places where my desires reside
Show me the secrets I keep locked inside
Show me the truth
I have no time for lies
There are only a few hours that make up the night
So sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
Please let me rest.
Emoni Jenkins Oct 2013
Us
It started with a glance
A chance romance
The stars aligned
My heart beat in my chest for the very first time
I heard the music of nature
Danced to the chorus of life
And in that moment I came alive

It started with a touch
Wondering if my hand in yours was a step too much
The mixing of fingerprints blurred the lines
Who we were before didn't matter
You washed me clean like the tide
You held my heart and my secrets
Gave me a safe place to hide
I was yours
And you were mine
And that was enough for us

It started with a kiss
Your electric lips grazed the side of my neck
Journeyed down body
A trip I'll never forget
You lingered on the places that I tried to hide
And told me my scars were beautiful
And for a moment
I believed you.

It ended with a glance
With a lost romance
The wind no longer sang when we were together
The breeze carried our love away

It ended with touch
There was no warmth in your hands
No hope in your palms
So you let me go

It ended with a kiss
With a hug
With one last look at what was
It ended with me
Learning how to go on
Without us.
Emoni Jenkins Oct 2013
The click clack echoes of cheap stilettos on cracked pavement let you know she's near
There is no fear in her eyes
Lined thick and black as the night sky
For she is the goddess of these blocks
And men would sacrifice their blood and sweat wages to worship in her temple

She is a walking master piece
Crafted in the shaky hands of abandonment and abuse
It took nineteen long years to create a soul so dark you could get lost just staring into it
And she's been trying to find her way back to herself for years

She is a walking tragedy
Of Shakespearian proportions
Her love stories are not so romantic and clean
They usually take place in some stranger's back seat
After some hastily exchanged words
Some stranger's rough cheek
Pressed harshly against hers
And from the outside it could almost be called love
Two people finding themselves in the arms of another
But still being completely alone in the world

This is her existence
Moonlit rendezvous
Short skirts and fishnets with holes up the sides
She's just someone to call during the lonely nights
And as they spread her thighs
They don't realize that they're filling her and killing her at the same time
She sells her body and her pride on these streets just to survive
No one knows of the little girl that hides inside that cries inside
That begs you with her eyes to save her from herself
Save her from these streets
Kiss her on the cheek and let her ride in the front seat
She doesn't care where you are going
As long as its away from here
Where ever you and she stop will be called home
And she will finally be allowed to rest.
Emoni Jenkins Sep 2013
The vibration
The pacing
The loving
The hating
The spending
Never ending
The thoughts they keep racing
The drinking
The drugging
The 5am clubbing
The meaningless sexing
The endless regretting
The lying
The cheating
The I hate this feeling
The panic
No sleeping
Anxiety streaming
The shaking
The fright
The continuous night
The struggle with words
I just want to be heard
The thoughts they're racing
The thoughts they're racing
The thoughts they're racing
Paranoia
Hallucinations
It's been weeks since I've slept
The walls seem to be screaming from the secrets they've kept
I'm over the edge
I've lost all control
This madness is driving me off of the road
But maybe down there I'll find some peace
All I really wanted
Was to go to sleep
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