Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Emoni Jenkins Aug 2013
I've lost my voice
Have you seen it?
My mother said it was like sunshine dipped in liquid honey
But that may just be her memory paying tricks on her
Maybe it was stolen
By the man who took my cries for help
And locked them between my teeth
Or maybe I've  just forgotten where to look

I've lost my laugh
Have you seen it?
My mother said it was like the birds that chirped to wake the morning sun
It still echoes off of the empty walls of my heart
Like a memory of the fluid happiness that once flowed from my lips
I miss it sometimes

I've lost my smile
Have you seen it?
My mother said it was like a rainbow
Each imperfection a different color blending to make something truly beautiful
Maybe it's hiding behind the thick clouds that weigh heavy all around me
Maybe it got tired of waiting for the weather to change

I've lost my hope
Have you seen it?
My mother said it gravity
Keeping me connected to the earth and moving forward
Maybe it married my sanity and they ran off together
I haven't seen her in awhile either

I've lost myself
Have you seen me?
It's been awhile and I really think we need to talk
I'm starting to forget who she is

I've lost my voice
Have you seen it?
My mother said it was like the sun dipped in liquid gold
But that may just be her memory playing tricks on her again.

But maybe I've just forgotten where to look.
pay attention to the first and last verses.
Emoni Jenkins Aug 2013
There these voices in my head
Saying they wish I was dead
Someone please
Help me

They exploit my hurt and fear
Whispering lies
They fill my ears
Someone please
Help me

They get louder in my dreams
Louder everyday it seems
I don't sleep
They don't stop
I'm on the edge
Because of these voices in my head

The voices they just scream and shout
Only this gun with get them out
I'm done living in perpetual fear
This ends right now
This ends right here

There were these voices in my head
They said that they wish I was dead
The voices are silent
They're not even in sight
I'll start my permanent nap tonight.
Emoni Jenkins Aug 2013
I murdered my darkest secrets
Slit the throats of my worst memories
And buried them all next to the skeletons that used to reside in my closet
They hitched a ride to earth on the backs of my demons
And  now spend their nights haunting my nightmares
They're here
They're here
They're here
To stay
Oh how I wish they'd go away
Emoni Jenkins Aug 2013
Pop a pill
Swallow it down
No more smiles
No more frowns
You can't feel
Through the fog
A drug induced haze
A medical cloud
A hollow version
Of who you used to be
Hallucinations
Become memories
But what price
Are we willing to pay
For society to label us
"Normal" one day?
Emoni Jenkins Aug 2013
You don't want me as I am
But as you see me
I paint my face in layers of rejection
Hoping you'll accept my modified reflection
But I know you won't
I squeeze the least favorite parts of me into your favorite jeans
Hoping that you'll notice me
But I know you won't
I want you to want me
So I'll peel the skin off my body
Replace it with something shiny and new
I'm sure if I look more like a porcelain doll
I'll be more beautiful to you
I need you to need me
So I'll dye and straighten my hair
I'm sure if I copied Barbie's look
You'd take a second to care
About me
Maybe even enough to call me beautiful.
Notice me
Inject your overwhelming love into my veins
I want to get high on your affection
Suffocate me
Drown me in the tears you cry every time we are apart
And in my last moments I'll know that I'm the only girl that has your heart
Take my body
Fill me with that aching part of your body that needs to be served
Two slippery orifices
See
I am good for something
Just tell me what you want
Who you want me to be
And I'll be her
I want you to want me
I need you to need me
And I won't take no
For an answer.
Emoni Jenkins Aug 2013
She
I'm not here
I feel nothing
I am nothing

she sits in the darkest corner of her room
razor in one hand
note in the other
"tonight." she promises herself

I'm not here
I feel nothing
I am nothing

she could feel the reaper's cold breath on the back of her neck
his scythe dripping with her final confession
she could feel herself slipping
she welcomed the peace that lie in the dark

I'm not here
I feel nothing
I am nothing

she now lives in the blood stained memories of that room
the tears she cried fall from the sky like an old testament flood
condemning us all
when silence weighs heavy in the air
you can hear me scream
but its too late
I am gone

I'm not here
I feel nothing
I am nothing
Emoni Jenkins Jul 2013
I say "I am fat"
He says "No, you are beautiful"
I wonder why I can't be both.
Next page