Emoni Jenkins

Emoni Jenkins Jul 2013

I miss you
And you make me sick
Your eyes, which used to bring me butterflies
Now make me nauseous
And I could spend hours dry heaving
Just to make sure I've choked up every last bit of you
Your smile
Has yellowed from the lies you told
There is deceit on your lips
And all the brushing in the world
Can't hide the smell of the crap you made me swallow
Your hands
Which promised to cradle me heart
Squeezed a bit too hard
And left ***** fingerprints on the broken pieces
My own little jagged jigsaw
And as much as I would love to say "*******!" and let this end
I can still remember the smell of your soap in my skin
And the feeling of your hand in mine
And the first time
You
And I
Became us
But my rage won't allow me to cry
On the outside.
You cannot bury what is not dead
So instead I'll put our love on a shelf
And leave it there
Never to be touched
Years will pass
Dust and time will ***** the glass
And all of the delicate dysfunctional intricacies of our love will be forgotten
And in it's own way
Up on that shelf
Our love will finally be beautiful.

To Justin: Only we know what really happened...

Emoni Jenkins Jul 2013

The Dark

We are freedom
Constricted by the sun's judgmental light
But when shadows kiss the earth
We drop our chains
There is nothing to fear
But who we become
When no one is looking
Lines are blurred
Features indistinguishable
Voices hushed
Closeness is a necessity
The judgmental truth of the light is gone
I guess the only fear
Is wading through who we were
And discovering who we are supposed to be
Before the sun
Rises

Emoni Jenkins Jul 2013

When I Was 14

When I was 14
I got down on my knees because he said I would
If I loved him
Lips painted the color of ***
He trust himself in
Making me choke on my own objections
Lost in the world of adolescent bliss
He kissed my tear streaked cheek and promised he would call
And I told him that I would wait for it
I'm still waiting

This is just a few lines about my first ****** experience with a man.

Emoni Jenkins Jul 2013

Kissing Death

I kissed death in the lips
Breathed into him all of my hopes
And all of my dreams
And all of my lies
And all of my insecurities
He held my hand
And told me that I was beautiful
I kissed death on the lips today
I looked into his eyes
And there was no hypocrisy there
Only a truth
That we both knew
He held my hand
And the warmth of my skin
Against his
Silenced all of my fears
And all of my doubts
I looked into his eye
And in a moment
We became one
I kissed death on the lips
And I was no longer
And he was no longer
We just were
And that
Was good enough
For me.

Emoni Jenkins Jul 2013

To my children

I pray for you
I pray that the sun never sets on your laughter
And that your smile illuminates the darkness that this world holds
I pray that you think outside of the socially acceptable metaphorical box
And that you color outside the lines on purpose
I pray that you have your father's eyes
And that through them you see the good that dwells in everyone
I pray that the mistakes of my past do not pour into your future
And that every door would be as wide as the night sky
I pray for your beauty
And that you know that it has nothing to do with how you look
I pray for your mind
And hope that you see the world not for how it is
But for how it could be
I pray that you build nations with your mouth
Strike down evil with your words
And realize that the power of life and death really does lie in the tongue
I pray your life is like a thunderstorm
And that you shake this world to it's core
Be a bigotry hater
A fact debater
And always question authority
You may be light years away
But I know one day I'll hold you in my arms
So for now
I'll pray for you
And for all that I know you'll be.

Emoni Jenkins Jul 2013

Wristcutters: A Love Story

The first night we met
You told me you loved me
You lifted my skirt
And showed me what love felt like
You kissed the outside of my thighs
Gently at first
Your razor tipped lips exploring my ****** flesh
We all bleed the first time
Drawing sighs of approval from my lips
You entered me
Carving our intimate secrets where no one could see
It only hurts the first time
I need you to need me
So **** me with your silence
Slide your fine edged tip across my wrists
And tell me I'm beautiful
Fill me with your metallic seed
And let the scars I bear be the children we conceived
Please
Don't ever leave me.

The first time we met
You told me that you loved me
It really only hurts the first time.

This is a small look at my own experience with cutting

Emoni Jenkins Jul 2013

Battlefield

I wonder what the broken call the sane
The ones
Who are whole
The ones
That have a chance
We are in constant battle
A war over what’s right
And what’s good
We paint ourselves
In shades of sin
Until we no longer recognize
Our own reflections
We are in a war
But we are our own victims
And the battlefields run red
With our blood
We are all broken
So I guess the broken
Only speak truth
And the truth is
That we don’t say anything
We just exist
And beg others to do the same