Decided you didn't want me
after you figured out you couldn't finish
unless you couldn't see my face.
Learned that if it was anyone
but the other girl
that you'd rather not be aware of who.
So you could atleast pretend
you still had the one you really wanted

Things do not happen for a reason because
All they know how to do
is happen

It was never about how you made me feel
It was about pretending that I was happier than I was
It was about how I felt intellectually supreme when I took a drag of your cigarette and stared out onto the ocean.

It was never about my attraction to you
It was about being a more sexually liberated college girl
It was about pretending and wishing that I could handle being unattached

It was never about being with you
It was about Far Far Away being so close
It was about feeling different than how I wished I wasn't perceived

“Go ahead..Say what ever you want about me. I’m serious! I don’t care. It’s funny actually. Because I don’t even have to say or call you anything to get my satisfaction.. Because I know that no matter what you say to me, call me or what ever you’d do to remind me that I’m ****…You still kissed me..You still held my hand..You still fell in love with me..And I know that those facts **** you off and eat away at you everyday..And I love that.. I love that it does that to you.. Almost as much as I loved you."