Caught up in a cacophony
of curses and the tragedy
of forgetting that You love me

I wring my hands tight
with every single fight
that I watch myself lose again
and again
and again
and again
and my sin
whispers words that
fall like anvils dropped from
the empire state building
and that cacophony gets that much louder.

And I come to find I certainly lack the power
to do anything that seems even of the slightest
worth
to me, to you, to every friend that I threw
away
because those anvils that hit me yesterday
hit me just a little too hard and
I don't want to get hit again because
I just might die next time.

My memory offers me nothing but unrest as my
conscience is put to the
test that I keep forgetting that I was supposed to study for
and it's easy to blame it on the dog because it ate my textbook
or at least I say that because I don't want to look
at the words of life that I come to find only condemn me
for all the things I know I was supposed to do right the first time.

You know,
there was a song You sang to me
the day we met for the first time
a resounding sound so sublime
a melody of mercy and love
washing white all I had ever done
and somehow by some incredible mystery
you won my heart then.

But now all I seem to do
is wonder why I can't hear the melody
only ever feeling guilty
that the grand staff where you wrote that song
strikes nerves instead of chords
leaving me feeling depressed, broken and even bored
and around the song you've composed an impossible score
that I'm sure I could never perform
well enough to feel like I was worthy of Your love.

But the person you sang that song to back then
I'm pretty sure he hated you
only longing for his sin
that he was head-over-heels for
a nightmare he said was his best friend.
He had broken all the rules
Spent his youth trading treasure for fools
gold that he dug up
and buried the truth in its place
He cared nothing for mercy
And felt no need for grace
I still remember very well that he even spat in your face but that person...
You still took his place.

Instead of striking him dead where he stood
and pouring out all the wrath you could
It would have made so much more sense
to take his life
To make him, to make me pay the price

I mean, You never did anything wrong
It should have been me, but in that song...

The lyric rings, "Jesus paid it all."

Oh Lord, how I long
that the cacophony
be drowned out by Your symphony
that I would hear every curse
Reorchestrated to instead sing of mercy
That every anvil that falls
in a hope to fell me
would cast into the infinite sea
of grace where my body was buried
and it was!

The old me is dead and done
only a memory and no longer
what I'm doomed to become
because the price You paid

I confess, God, it's enough.

Praises upon praises
Amazes until eternity
My voice being many voices and tongues
A time to give thanks
Blessings many
Rejoice and be glad
I am a witness when I felt alone
Didn’t know about holiness, but a hand extended out and said I am among
From that time on, the Lord has always been number one
His Death and he has risen
Victory for me in knowing I can conquer all things
I feel assured and honored
The Devil can’t have my joy nor praise
The Hallelujah is my amaze
I am guided by Faith
The Devil is the closed book
I don’t even want to look
Flee from me Demon
You are your own sour lemon
I am not your to have
Goodness and mercy surrounds me
The clouds parallel in the sky for all to see
My eyes on thy
Tomorrow’s cry
It’s living being a daily try
Forgive me for my response to the world
My thoughts are not your thoughts
I have been redeemed, and I am glad
I know that makes the Devil just mad
But to know the Lord makes me glad.

A rich bird in
a golden cage
Saw the bars
& was enraged!

She couldn't fly
up to the stars
So beat herself
against the bars!

Again! AGAIN!
For all her wealth
She could never
free herself!

She wouldn't stop!
Would not sing...
Finally, she broke a wing.

With one wing
she went berserk!
She knew her methods
didn't work...

But she upped
her frenzied tack!
Finally, she
broke her back.

She looked up
as she was dying
from the floor
where she was lying

She saw the sun
and sky sublime

the cage door...
*open the whole time.

My enemies are like mites
they crawl inside your skin
and they know where to bite...
My expectations, dreams, faith, or anything.

Those bugs are nothing,
but blood thirsty thugs
they had me this close
However...
It wasn't enough.

I had to fight it out
even if it seems rough.

Every bruise, scrape,and scar
after the attack of the enemies
I'm surprised I got this far...

I can't just quit!

After every time that I get bit
with their hate and arrogance.
I can still fight and have a chance.

After all of that running,
even though I'm panting.
I can't stop now,
I have to keep moving!

I can feel my blood pressure rising.
I'm not giving up, I'll continue on climbing.
I catched my breath, and realized that I'm still alive.

Some people say that
I'm out there dying.
Well that didn't stop me from trying.

At first, I started crying;
My mind wasn't right,
There were times when I started to fight.
Thanks to God I began striving.

I made it this far
Even though it was hard
I'm never going to stop,
until I reach the top
because I'm almost there.

When there's a will
there is a way
Don't be confuse
it's all in the brain
No, you're not insane!
just keep going...
your life is at stake.

You ask yourself if it's safe
to go through tomorrow
without having any regret
or sorrow...
we should hope for the best
because if you reap
you will sow
and like a plant
you will grow.

How can we go on?
As the flames burn our confidence
and strip away our happiness
its our job to fight through it!
if the devil took our prize pocessions
shouldn't we make our way to go retrieve it?
And if God says he'll make a way
for all your circumtances
to fade away,
shouldn't we give him more chances
than the one's that failed
to keep our promises
that was made?

There is no curse or spell
to prevent our way of living
if we live through this
our problems will be less deceving
As we can all tell
because nobody
should go through
hell.

Seems I'm in a constant battle
Fighting this war within myself
Trying to keep my thoughts pure and simple
Far above everything else

So many times I'm on the front line
With my mind like a gun in hand
Waving it in every direction
Shooting myself in the foot instead

If I don't set up a sentry
To check my thoughts I.D. at the door
Before I know it the enemy surrounds me
Back again to losing  this war

And just by chance I think the battle is over
Celebrating at the slightest victory
That is when I should duck and cover
Before the enemy sinks his teeth in me

They say there's no rest for the weary
Being weary far out weighs the cost
Hitting the battle line in every corner of my mind
To keep pure and simple all my thoughts