Enter the Dragon

I didn't start with my addiction until I was 13. It was at that point that I found alcohol. "Demon ***". And a terrible scourge it was for a majority of my life.

I want to preface this next segment by saying that I love my father dearly. He is now sober and has been many decades. But at the time my story is being told, he was an alcoholic. Of the first water. A "responsible" drunk. He held down a job. A job he hated. And so he ran away from life when he could. And both my parents liked to throw parties. There were always mixed drinks. Martinis. *Lots of them. After a few my father could no longer maintain. He couldn't mix the drinks. So guess who was recruited as bartender? You got it. And I began to imbibe in my own creations as I had to "test" the taste. They were good, alright. And my customers got plowed! I would have also, but God had His hand on me, even then. I somehow knew better. I got tipsey. But my REAL alcoholic behavior would come later. At that point I began raiding my father's liquor cabinet. The drugs came later, too...

... enter a little girl named CRICKET.**


SøułSurvivør
6/3/2017

Vision a sense
beyond all others
when blindness
darkens
under covers
and insanity
waits
like moths
it
hovers

that is when
another sight
the only eyes
that see
what's right
and convey
to us how
to fight
with this
dove
my
soul
takes flight

for if a man's blind
in the inner eye
how can he see
the stars?
the sky?
will he even
question why?
or does he
close his eyes
and sigh...

and in
total

darkness

DIE


SoulSurvivor
(C) 1/hi8/2016

We're all in a sea of souls
Struggling to survive
It's hard to find much peace of mind
It's hard to stay alive
The water's full of monsters
For some reason they thrive
Wasps that sting, and poisonous bees
There are many hives
There are those who'd drag you down
So they can have "blessed lives"

Mermaids sing a siren song
Beside the whirlpools
There are wraiths upon the waves
Sea dragons and ghouls
Islands made of straw and grass
The devil has his tools
You could climb upon them
To sink like silly fools
You're in an ocean full of lies
Herein Satan rules

But there is is an Island
Made of rock and stone
You can find Safe Haven
You'll never be alone
Sandy beaches wash away
This you will be shown
On this Island there is a Fortress
He'll call you His own
He will help you weather storms

And he will take you Home


You can play a million parts
Be cast in many roles
Walk in boots with steel toes
But find they have no soles
Go to kitchens to get soup
And find there are no bowls
Follow all the precepts
And find there are no rules
You can climb on life rafts
And find they have great holes
Be lured to many beaches
Cast on many shoals
But there is just one way out

Of the Sea of Souls


SoulSurvivor
(C) 9/13/2016

There's times in life we're just not sure,
   which way is best to go;
Those times when life seems far to hard,
    in life we're dealt a blow

We may not see the light to come,
   the end seems far away;
Life really seems not worth it now,
   to wake up one more day.

I know it's hard, I've been there too,
   where dying would bring peace;
Where not one thing could make me smile,
   no help the pain could ease.

Just hear me out, I've got some news,
   I finally found the way,
To stand up strong, to live again,
   to face another day.

I gave it all to God Himself,
   let Jesus fight my war;
And that He did, He fought for me,
   this war and many more!

Now every day I give Him thanks,
   for guidance from above;
For keeping me so safe from harm,
   wrapped in His Wings of Love.

I tell you now, My God is King;
   the Ruler of all seas;
Almighty and Omnipotent;
   My Lord, The Prince of Peace.

He's with me on the mountaintop,
   or on the valley floor;
He's with me when I'm lost at sea,
   or resting on the shore.

He's seen me through the worst of times,
   He caught me when I fell;
He changed my life with just one touch,
   by breaking devil's spell.

He broke the chains that bound my life,
   thus setting my soul free;
So much more than My Lord and King,
   He's more than life to me!

There--by the cobble, the Serpent lies
Split was His tongue, black were His eyes.
Making His advance, I should have denied
But the words He spake were clever and wise.
He whispered to me, "Why do ye toil and cry
Serving a Being Who commands on High?
Does ye know, this Being, He is not nigh?
And all His decrees-- so capricious and wry!
For, you are hungry; eat! You will not die.
This is the sustenance to keep thee spry."
Reason spake within me, "Shan't I water that which is dry?
"The tree giveth fruit, shan't it be mine?"
With Reason, I plucked the fruit and gave it a try.
And Sudden-ly, I felt the Breath come on by
Thy Heavenly Father breathed the eternal sigh
For another child lost to the temptation as old as time.

There--by the cobble, the Serpent Lies.

Dungeons and Dragons

The world of my childhood
Was so bleak as to be
Untenable. There *were good
Times, yes. These were as
Gems set in clay. A black
Muck that oozed from the
Dungeon of despair.

I was so demonstrative
In my need for acceptance
And love the other children,
As kids do, smelled the
Blood in the water. And,
As children do, they attacked.
I was dog meat. Which
Made me all the more
Vicious toward my poor
Baby brother. Which
Made me feel more
Guilty. And so went the
Spiral of despair. Finally
I found the "cure" for
My angst. Fantasy.

I have no idea how
To even begin to tell
You about my fantasies.
I began to rock myself
To sleep at a very young
Age. A self-comforting
Action I acquired from
Babyhood. I also bounced.
On our springy couch, I'd
Rock myself back & forth
So as to bounce myself
From the back of it. I'd
Listen to music while
Doing this, and fantasize
Of being in lands beyond
My ability to describe here.
It would be too time
Consuming. But I was
Heroine of my
Daydreams. Beautiful.
Wise. Immortal. Like
One of JRR Tolkien's
Elves. I loved his books.
I devoured fantasy
Stories. And absolutely
Loved dragons.
I started drawing
Painting at a very young
Age. And the dragon was
My greatest source of
Inspiration. He was the
Catalyst which brought
The fantastic brew to life...

...and nearly destroyed me.

There's an upside to all
This, folks. The dragon is
Satan. He's the author
All addiction, pain and.
Suffering on earth.

Well. I know his secrets.
And I aim to expose them

One... by... *ONE!*


SøułSurvivør
(C) 5/27/2017