i’m stop signs. quick, 1, 2, 3, go. i’m the rest stop when you’re almost to your destination, stop here find what you’re really looking for and realize it isn’t and won’t ever be me. i’m yellow lights that people run through and the fast lane on highways. i’m the person people look at and say i’ll take what they’ll give me and give nothing in return. i’m never the final stop. i’m the person who writes their number down for you and then you lose the paper in your least liked pair of pants but you don’t mind because they were never your favorite anyways. i am never the favorite anyways. i think about how i could make myself more likeable, turn myself from a hotel stop or train station into a skyscraper with a hard base and concrete flooring but then i remember no one would stay even if i begged them to. no one would stay even if i could force them to. and that's why i stopped begging and forcing and clawing. i am never the one people remember or the one people want. i’m forever meant to be the stepping stone for people to realize what they really want out of life. and it’s never me.

i don't want magic if it's tragic
but here's another metaphor for you
i am the little match girl
and you are my every delusion
i don't like the story
but i like the way you sound over the phone
and i like to remember you in the dark
without the light to highlight the pain
just playlist full of sad songs all over again
cliche
but i want to write about our conversation
about the way you laughed
about when we stayed
before the fire unlit, before the final match burnt
remember all the things you said to me?
i stop searching where they went long time ago
because they're just reminder of how mundane you turn things into
i ran out of matches and i don't know what to do

his hand on my hips
my fingers stroking his hair
i dare you not to call that poetry

bagaimana kau masih bisa percaya
waktu itu berjalan maju
jika engkau dapat dengan mudah mematahkan detik-detiknya
dan kenangan adalah salah satu kemunduran
yang kita percayai sebagai sebuah kemajuan?

hey
let's catch up
on things
on life
on our feelings

you shouldn't have asked me how i felt
or i shouldn't have lied and said "this isn't the right time"
i know i shouldn't
and now i'm thinking about it
about how i'm pushing everyone out of my life
because you broke my heart into a hundred pieces
and it took me decade to fix every slab into the other
i shouldn't have made you leave
i know i shouldn't
i heard things about bad endings
and to me it always looked like you leaving

you make my heart race
and you make my heart stop
but you drop it like a bad habit
and i'm the one who is addicted