Today,
                I was in love with you
                Even as you push me away
                I wanted you always here to stay

Yesterday,
                I loved you
                Fought with everything in my power
                Even climbed the tallest tower

Today,
                I will delete you
                Erase you from my phone
                Completely leave you alone

Tomorrow,
                I will remember you
                And the happiness you gave me
                The way you loved having me as your baby

Today,
                I will pray for you
                Please, god, give him the strength
                To run from me, this greatest length

liar liar heart on fire
let me clip this one last wire
then youll fall down, ******* cryer

hang the noose
it'll be our truce
give me one more chance to roll a deuce

loving isn't hating
and promising isn't faking
please stop my heart from breaking

liar liar heart on fire
as it swings to stop the dyer
beat again and take me higher

look with those beautiful eyes
stop telling all of these lies
quit trying to deny

loving is whats made for you
you know me, i love you too
hating me just isn't true

liar liar heart on fire
give back in, to your desire
with a truth i will admire

im a sinner
this rope i walk keeps getting thinner
thin enough to slice right through
my skin when you try to tie me up

to my new found casket
leave me there, make sure you latch it
because i am no longer
here, lies a monster

in my heart
eating and tearing me apart
constantly thrashing against the love
bashing against the hate

in my mind
the hate unwinds
the monster wants to tame it
whips it like a lion in a circus

thats where i am
the trapenzee swings, cannons go bam
i am the happy.one.side-
sad.other.side clown

all around me
this is what i see
this casket is my circus tent
this circus is my family

since the beginning
the lion has been winning
and now im being ripped to shreds
collect your tickets please

i want to be burned
let this lesson be learned
spread me across the ocean
and let me finally be free

I thought you said it would be okay
Every little thing, is gonna be alright
But when I come home
Instead, theyr so dead
With the weight of the boulders pressing
Down on this house
Its crumbling

I push things
Get them out of my mind
Have since I was little
Squeezing my eyes shut tight
When he came home in the dead of the night
Please let mommy be okay
The screaming haunts me

In my daydreams
My lack of focus
Frustrates me every second
So I shut it out
Close my mind
But now the haze is clearing

I thought it was different
But people never change
Jail doesn’t change a thing
The threat of life sentences
Don’t change a single, thing
But I cant teach

The lesson he should learn
Because though he gives us nothing
Without him
we have even less
No home, no education
Streets

Are glistening with the rain
My tears finally stream
And they flood the sidewalks
With their anger and fear
And stupidity
Never trust the liar

Ive always told myself
Nobody, can be trusted
But I opened up
And I let it go
Floored it
But now im crashing

As I lay pinned between the tree and radiator
I look up at the stars
Do you know how many wishes
Iv sent up to the sky
Black and blue as my body
As the stars glisten mockingly

“hunny, im home!”
Take a long look around
At the rusting support posts
And decaying furniture
This house is not a home
This house is broken

We all need, somebody to lean on
And I had you
You left me at the worst time
And it keeps going down
I hate that I needed to hear your voice
Before I attempt another goodbye

But I know it is selfish
Don’t worry
The knife is staying shallow
The pills are the correct dosage
But my tears are overflowing
At the facts laid on the table

Its too late for protection
Services asking all the wrong questions
Has he done this before?
No ****
Im glad we contacted the captain
Of town obvious

A few more years, ill have a job
Mother will too
Maybe ill tell my secret
Or maybe ill publish
The lies I was told
With the dignity I sold

I want to forgive
But I wont
And to hell will I ever forget
Because the lies the lovers have told me
Will never heal
Because my lips are sealed

Okay, so

I wasn’t really sure what I would say
My first time standing
Or if I could even muster the
Courage to write a new rhyme
So, instead, I decided to let myself go
Listen to these words, and hear my beat flow

Once upon a time
There was a little girl
And in her shiny blonde hair
Laid a few new curls
Curls caused by all the stress
Hidden underneath that fluffy pink dress

But you see, this little girl
Never knew what was wrong with her
She was always smiling and pretty
And always surrounded by others
But deep down, she had a secret
And 16 years later, she couldn’t keep it

Eventually she was going to explode
So she wrote it all down
On her loose leaf skins
And hid it from the town
And just kept on smiling
Hoping to reconnect her wiring

And then one day
The words on the pages fell open
All of her secrets spilled
With the words that were left unspoken
Suicide letters addressed with names
This girl’s life is no longer a game

Because she was done playing
Her pockets filled with posy
As she fell down to the ground
Something had changed
She was done playing around

Now she was exposed
Yet there still remained a question
For some did not believe her
She “made it up”
And she got weaker

And that day she broke down
Her mother believed her
And together they went to a psychologist
Where she didn’t speak
She needed a pathologist

Drugs slipped down her throat
For the next few years
Everyday searching for reasons to live
But he remained to haunt her
She found no reasons to forgive

Eventually she learned to block
Everything her mind saw, locked
Away were the secrets
                Restraining her
Most of the past becomes a blur

Because she won’t remember
And this November?
She’s gonna walk tall
                In her brand new smile
One that will hide her, for awhile

But as she fills herself with false pride
She still remembers the day she died
But she’s good at pretending
                Nothings wrong
For her innocence is long since gone

And now she pushes through
The crowd to meet a person or two
A new person
                That doesn’t know her
Past was full of torture

Now the ***** slips down her throat
Forgetting of the words she wrote
She’s not a ****, but won’t let anyone
                Get close enough
To ever call her smiles bluff

She keeps messing up, leaving loved ones hurt
Yet she can’t seem to hold down her flirt
Or keep the best friends close
                That she keeps on losing
Because of the path she keeps on choosing

And they say she’s got the fellas
Well aint she just a Bella
Wasted in the dawns of time
Another margarita, another lime

But she knows she’s got her mother
Who won’t put up with another
Record score of sixty nine
She keeps them waiting in a line

She won’t let down her guard again
Won’t be easy for another pen
Fifteen, she’s off the rack
Now she’s gotta make it back

Alive, in her tattered dress
Walking alone on the streets a mess
Listening to drunken shouts
Just trying to find her way out

Head up tall
Make sure you don’t fall
Promise yourself you’ll be better
Next time they’ll be no more keggers

Because this girl is not who you are
You don’t ditch your friends for a guy at the bar
It’s time to get your **** together kid
Because next time may not be undid

Apparently I’m just a bipolar *****
And apparently the "friends" I did have are too
So what I don’t understand, is how you can judge me
Because honestly? You don’t have a CLUE

******* please step down from your tower
I’m sick of these games
And how you have all this power
That you’re constantly abusing

You can leave me if you really want
Because there’s enough battles I have fought
And I don’t need you telling them
Who can be my friend, and who cannot

But if you think I’m another lost cause
You can **** on your words
As I sit back and applause
Your “valiant” effort in saving me