You sang me Johnny Cash on the phone
i was on my floor in my room
swooning
you in your's
strumming your guitar
with hands that i fell in love with
with a smooth voice that i can't get out of my head
with a guitar you loved more life
with lips that brushed against my neck.
Ironic that it was called hurt
because that's all i have been feeling
that's all i write about
that's all i have to wake up too
the only thing i feel
though numb still
numb to feeling alive
feeling happy
feeling wanted
feeling at all.
Your voice haunts me at night
i can't push it to the back of my mind anymore
i have been doing that all day
so i slowly get in bed
i strum my fingers on my own guitar
and i sing my heart out
because it's broke into many fragments,
like a unfinished puzzle
like my unfinished poems.
So i choke out the pieces
in pain filled lyrics
streaming from my broken soul
with my soft voice turning hard,
heavy with sadness.
Then after i have to stop and catch my breath
realizing i didn't breathe much throughout the song
because god know's it hurts
it hurts
and it takes so much effort to breathe out
without sighing your name
without crying in pain.
Tonight i sang
tell 4 a.m,
i still feel the same.
I kept trying to sing my heart out the rest of the night.
I sung tell i lost my voice.
Tell i lost myself.
Finally,
tell i lost my heart.

My hips swayed toward you like the tides
your lips tasted like honey
just as smooth
your hands tried to catch me
but i slipped through your fingers like the water
and pulled away
only to return like to the shores of your parting lips with a deep kiss
you placed your hands on my waist
i moved against your body like the waves
glowing like the moon
swaying like the ocean
my heart humming a soft melody
yours beating in beat
trying to hold me like the sea holds my heart
trying to keep me from falling apart
as the waves crash on the rocks
i fall into you
on your sandy shore skin
you breathing in
my salty skin
and my wavy golden hair
your hands finding the curves of my body
smooth at the water
tempting as the sea
we fall asleep
to the breeze of our synced breath
the same crash and fall of of hearts
the same feel of our body's
pressed together
you held me
as best as anyone could hold the sea
and i tried to keep my storm at bay
because i never wanted to leave the boy that braved to swim.

I'll keep smoking because it tastes like your lips
because the way the smoke rolls out of my mouth
just like the way you rolled the words "goodbye"
of your tongue.
Because the smoke twirls through my fingers
the way you did.
Because it leaves my hair smelling like the wind
and smoke
and rain.
And you said you always loved the smell
when we came inside
from a smoke break.
And i would lay my head on your shoulder
and you would twirl the golden strands.
Now i need a smoke break
because my heart aches
with the absence of your hands
with the absence of your smell
with the absence of your comfort.
With the absence of you.
So no i do not smoke to forget,
i smoke to remember.
And the memories are not the only thing that's killing me.
Because my lungs are turning as black as my heart.

If i was a flower i'd grow at night
i would flourish in the rain
and i would sprout on a cloudy day.
I would sway in the breeze
and you would pick off all my petals
to see if he love's you
and i'd hope the whole time that you would land on
"he loves me"
and i would still hope this
even as my petals are being torn off me
and thrown to the ground.
But if i was a flower,
and when winter comes,
sometimes i don't think i could push myself out of the ground.

I find beauty in the wrong things.
But at least i can find beauty in something.
I find it in cigarettes.
In destructiveness.
In boys with fiery lips.
And serpent tongues.
Especially in ***.
But at least i'm having fun,
even if it's in the wrong things.
God i love to sin.

Sleep is not my friend.
Insomnia is.
If you can fall asleep before you see dawn,
let my introduce you to my dear friend.
I swear you'll never be able to shut your eyes again.
Unless it is to relieve the pain
during the day.
Curl up on you bed at lunch time
close the blinds
but insomnia will still be calling
"mine"
"mine"
"don't close your eyes"
"your still mine".

Art
they said was in the rose color of her perfect mouth.
In the gold shine in every strand of her hair.
Especially in the aqua watery depth
or her cool blue eyes
begging you in for a swim
tempting.
In the way the color of her skin was a daisy petal white.
In the way her laughter danced to the sound of rain
booming like thunder.
And her touch
oh god her touch
it was like a thousand lightening streaks brushed against your arm
only for her to laugh and have it sound sweeter than the music
my piano hands can make.
And the way she says your name
like she's savoring it,
tasting ever bit of it as it rolls of her tongue.
But you will never forget
they way she looks
curled upon her dark green reading chair
stormy eyes devouring the words
golden streaks falling in her face
lips softly forming the words
savoring the words
soaking up every thing she can
from the book in her hands.
This girl will steal your heart,
before you're even done looking at her.