Dean has been sleeping on my couch,
creating mountains of trash and ***** clothes.
It’s been hard to keep people around
Tears and broken hearts are swept in dark corners and under rugs

There was one year, I thought Dean had left for good.
He had been gone for 5 months
and I could feel a smile grow on my face.
I found a lover to bloom with,
to grow old with.
My heart, shining across valleys and through the night.
That was, until November, when Dean came back.

the worst feeling
is when you want to cry
but can't
and you are left feeling
vacant
emotionless
and broken

i feel like my body and brain have stopped talking
i find myself running aimlessly through life
with no goals and no purpose
its as if my ambition is on vacation and the only thing i know how to do is survive
where did my passion go
did it leave when i stopped letting love in

My heart lunges out of my chest
Over and over and over again
Its getting harder to breathe
And even harder to think

My bodys been taken over
I’m possessed with obsession
And over thinking

Please just stop

The thoughts are like spiders
Crawling in my brain

GET OUT OF MY HEAD

I curl into a ball
And try to go to bed

I'm giving you pieces of me
And even if you never complete me
I will try to fill in the spaces
Because I hate feeling empty.

I guess that's why I fill my time with meaningless things.
I don't want to leave any space for loneliness.

I waste my time sitting alone
In my room
Listening to songs that remind me of you
But when I remember all that we've been through
And how you mess with my mind
I find myself writing songs and poetry

It's always been easier for me
To hid my feelings from others
But for you, I have to let you know
How you make my heart glow
And how many times I've cried over you

It may be hard to do
Once the feelings are out
They will stay out
Until I'm too tired to speak.

I'm obsessive and compulsive
I understand why no one wants to get close to me anymore
I am a mess and find the ugly in the most beautiful things
And I drag happiness through the mud so it looks more like
How I feel all the time
I am firestarter
I burn through people like they are cigarettes
I'm a smoker
I inhale all of my sorrows and exhale "I'm fine" with a smile and tears in my eyes

I find comfort in sad things
Like songs, poems, and abandoned buildings.