I have fallen for you
But I am terrified
You are a part of the world
I haven't visited yet

When I watch Alice in Wonderland I say the scripts and songs softly to myself
When I cook dinner I narrate out loud as if I'm on a cooking show
When listen to my favorite song, I sing the lyrics and the melody
When I am in line for food or coffee I recite a little monologue of what I want to say to them
Because if I dont, I forget.

I imagine the little things
Like you and I making breakfast together for the first time
And us sitting in a coffee shops enjoying each other company in silence
Me, writing you love letters and slipping them into your coat pockets
You, making us tea

I dream of the first time we kiss
And how I will grab you at the waist and pull you in close

I think of the first time we'll fight
And how it will keep me up all night wondering if I did something wrong
And you telling me everything is alright

I have tried to draw portraits of you
But my pen doesn't do you justice
You deserve to be craved from stone
You deserve to be permanent

I wish it was easier for me
To say what's on my mind
But my thoughts are like moths
And my brain is a light
It only turns off when liquor fills my stomach
And my thoughts can escape through my mouth

I wish it was easier for me
To embrace all I am blessed with
My mothers passion roars inside me
And I have my father's patience
To make it all balance.

I am in the middle of an intersection
And I can't seem to figure out
Which way I want to turn.

I am a ghost
I float through life
Wondering what my purpose is
Wondering how to feel passionate again
Everyday is a rerun of the one before
I have lost my way
It feels like I am running with weights on my shoulders
And the road has no end

You and I were very close
And that all changed within 3 short months
It hurts to think about the past
And I panic when I think about what my future holds
And you never really explained why
Our friendship had to die
You just stopped responding
And I'm scared it will happen with my other friends too..