Artemesia Blastside

Artemesia Blastside Nov 2013

Untitled

I'm
    f
       a
          l
            l
                i
                     n
                            g
...up
....down
.....inward
......onward
.......apart
..........to pieces.

Artemesia Blastside Nov 2013

Hindsightly Implications

Taunting
Teasing
Has become de facto
Flirting
Coquetry.

I'm gonna hit on you
I'm gonna smack you a kiss
I'm gonna crush your lips
You don't need a haircut it's perfect
You're such a hot mess

I hate love **you.

Artemesia Blastside Oct 2013

A recipe for a Girl

Start with dirt.
Trap a bird for a loving heart.
Wrap it in a rose so she can have thorns to protect it.
Add iron for a good backbone.
Teach her with chalk for righteousness.
Shake in some cinnamon for *****.
Melt chocolate for patience.
Add driftwood for wanderlust.
Build in her a door for loyalty.
Fill with coffee for curiosity.
Gift her a doll for kindness.
Put a book for cleverness.
Mold her a wind for empathy.
Fit her for glasses for self-control.

Stir in orange for dancing.
Stir in green for singing.
Stir in blue for crying.
Stir in red for screaming.
Stir in purple for thinking.

Give her words for pain.
Give her music for joy.
Give her darkness for fear.
Give her stars for rage.

Mold her.
Form her.
Love her.

Then give her a breath, for life.

Artemesia Blastside Oct 2013

The Love Song of a Knife

Breathe in,
Breathe out,
...
I'm lying in bed
Honey-sweet sleep is pulling my eyes to unReality, dark and velvet and purple
But I got these words tossing in my belly
Roiling and churning up my throat
Trying to spill out
And burn the pale ****** air
BUT
at the same time
Trying to crawl back down
Scraping with just-cut claws down to my toes curling up in plush-snugly socks.
Scared to be born.
SO
I'm lying in bed
Ready to spin truth wrapped in fibs sprinkled with simile
I just feel frustrated
Because I'm saying the same thing over and over again
But it's just NOT RIGHT.
...
Here's the deal:
I'M NOT REAL.
Or rather, I might be real, but my existence is highly improbable.
I feel weightless,
like I could jump off a bridge and fly
But I can't even convince myself
I just hover on the knife's edge of uncertainty.
Am I real?
Or can I fly?
I know it's one or the other.
And I know it's double or nothing.
Either I'm real- just a person
(but- here's the rub- one who knows her limits...)
Or I'm not- I can fly and dance and
love men and **** dragons.

...

This knife blade is anguish.
I'm not suicidal.
I just want it to stop.

...

I need someone to prove me wrong.
I need you to look me in the eyes
And know that I am yours
And know that you are mine
And know beyond a doubt I exist
And maybe

just maybe

I'll see myself in your eyes
And you in mine
And some of that reflected certainty
might.
just.
stick.

....

*do you love me?

Artemesia Blastside Oct 2013

There's Probably a Metaphor in Here Somewhere

She looked sheepishly around the empty room, and licked the sugar off her finger. Only the walls laughed at her.
She was drinking bitter coffee and a sweet apple. Now, the coffee is too sweet and the apple has soured.
So much for sugar.

Artemesia Blastside Aug 2013

breathing/breaking

(inhale)

I've got a confession and an apology cause I'm really really sorry like a cat left out in the rain I feel all bedraggled but there's nothing I can do about it but baby I'm sorry

(deep breath)

I don't love you.

(sigh)

I just don't love you baby, I don't even like you that way and I feel bad cause I care for you and I don't want to see you hurt but I've got to do it cause like a splinter it'll hurt worse the longer I avoid it and it'll fester and smell and I got to rip it off now quick as I can like a band-aid

(gasp)

It came to me when we were walking that I didn't want to hold your hand in front of everyone and let them see and I'm sorry baby cause I know I been leading you on because I thought I liked you enough that it wouldn't matter but I think I only love your shoulder to sleep on and your coat to cosy up in and I guess I didn't like your lips enough

(gasp)

And you know I'm sorry for leading you on but I think it's not just my fault you see there was something off about you and I've been hearing things about you and her and I don't want to be just a hookup to you cause baby I'm just not like that I need a guy who can stand by me and not just for the weeks that we've known each other cause we're both gonna go home a thousand thousand leagues away might as well be on Pluto

(gasp)

I wish I could love you.
I wish I could hate you.
This in-between-ness is just- distasteful.

(sigh)

I'm sorry.

(exhale)

Artemesia Blastside Jul 2013

Most Earnest Supplication

To all the authors, poets, songwriters, etc.

Make me smile like sunshine, make me laugh like light
Make me cry salty tears, make me mourn in dark grief
Make me rage lightning bolts, make me anger cold as coals

Make me fear, make me calm, make me relieved, make me despair.

But please, please, please
Never
Ever
make me bored.