Beat da basic ***** right outta dem. Vow to never let the light dim. **** it up or
suction cup it
cuz somethings stuck inside the succubus
it's not love or lust
Lot like utter disgust, yo ****** pass the bucket
That ***** leaking ****
Or black sludge
Lookin' for anotha sucka to lure in
Sure does **** for them.

gonna go
Gonna go
Gonna go beast mode
Or beat hoes with a flow
So positive
Lock it in or jot that down
Honor me wit honesty
Yo homonyms
Can't Steal my oxygen
Detoxin off all my prisons
In Paradise painted cage
Why bother with
Letting rage win
When man kept pushing
passed my limits
time
and time again
Ugly actions try to hack me
But I can't let that reality
Matter to me
Guess it matters to me
Wish it mattered to you
Zero dark thirty quotes
I hold up like a moral code
Keep all these inside jokes on the low low
Making it sacred only to  those who matter most.
GO
Beat em til they sleepy
Aye I need to re-lease
The FIRE within in
Me (me) me (me) me (me)
The meanest of the mean
Make more make make more more
freaking beats
For me
To beat and bruise

Haven't set up an alter
In I dont' how many moons
The few times I tried
I truly knew the futility of it
And understood
That security, for me, is fleeting


Just another thing
That seems so easy for the others
Oh no dont applaud
My  baby brain  for its
Whining,ll just make it worse
So the other day after
I snatched the sage you left
For me outside your window sill
(Thank you btw)


I instinctively started
Making YET ANOTHER ALTER
Then broke down for the 5th time that day
"How could someone like you ever deserve a home"
Then I had remembered  
That Im not allowed to
Have a safe space

I'm a drifter
Pushing the limits
My health is at risk
Every minute
No one to care
Whether I die or live  

Sitting on my hands
In a thicket
Praying wishing waiting thanking
God that I woke still broken
Throwing up stuff
Everytime I tried to move

Hunger
Hurt
Thirst
Hate
Anger
Thankful
Stay low
on your toes
Heatstroke
Dryheave
Please No
Please make it stop
Oh god here it comes again
My Sweat drips endlessly
Chiggers bit my skin
So it wont quit itchin'

Bites that bother until next week
Typical....
All I want is a place to hang my hat
Or hopefully lay my head without trip wires surrounding
Me
All I want is to oggle my alter and call on my angels and my God
Without being on constant alert
Watching my own six

Bc your own brother will turn on you
Don't get comfortable
Dont relax
Dont unpack
Dont believe
A ******* thing they tell you
Prove me wrong then

Haven't had a mfr not turn
Haven't seen anyone actually keep their word

And why cant i set up an alter without it being destroyed?

Midnight- snack Guardian
Karate chopping fruitflies
Until the oatmeal is
Imbibed
Mmm derived right outta
The HIVE

Might as well be my time
Mine to Wreck
if I'm so inclined to
Walk a mile in/side my slip-ons

Try it
A light so bright
I could make
A wish on
Sonic Boom

Grab a snack
And watch it all
Fall down from your
Flatscreen

Fools Gold
Looks just like a
Bud Nug
Blatant

Bold,
And Beautiful
By far
The fire marks had been gone
But continue to Bathe it

"You have a way with 'em"
To be straight
Im still holding the
poker chips,
the bullwhip,
Or whichever
Fill in the blank rhymes
Fit best

I am beating the meat
Out of this machine
Wish it leaked quarters
But it never does

Not so easy being a Street ***..
Being a being...
Being a ligament above the rest
Another rung to climb tirelessly
Until we hit the exit sign

Part 2
__
Until we hit the exit sign
Don't just be baiting yourself
.......
You DUMB *****
I like the way you hold that pencil girl
So sent/i/men/tal
So long
so so so much
Suf/er/ring
A piece of a larger sheet
A piece of a larger sheet

Part and parcel
Be Brief
and cut to the credits please
Read those 'Solid Instructions
To Self Destruct'
Must obstruct justice

No
Must uphold justice
DUH
Go for it
Hit the kick drum

Dumb it down all day
We not just
"All Play"
Aye can you see it in my bravery?
The way I play hide and seek
With my shadows
And force them to show
Themselves

Right in front of the
Sun's Rays
Son, Raise
your right hand
And swear upon this pyrite
That you won't Take
Time
For granted

Anymore......

The endless chatter
Shakes me to a brittle pulp
I don't belong here .
or operate like the others

I AM
One of the malfunctioning
No hope,
and no imagination

To paint my way
Outta here
Not Yet
The texts bleeds

And the margin oozes
Into Something
                Remotely
                      Beautiful ...

(old poem from 2010)
I'm a Swashbuclin'
Mean Muggin'
One of a kind sweetheart
Fresh off the grid
Party Package

Doctor to your down days..
I am the *******
Who advertises floss,
But, doesn't floss

{Jeanettetrospect}
{Look! Im the lonely girl
With all the friends
I finished the sentence
Without any words}

OR any work
From my left hand
I am/ An Ideabot
an inkblotting machine

But what does the message care,
That it is just a message
and not the messenger
. . . .
It would rather be

I am the caricature carving details in myself
Another shepherd mending felt
In a tool shed

I am the criminal  
Crying for help
For the last time
Sell all the beggars my *******
Soul

Then ask the pigeons
For forgivness.

It didn't have to get here,
Ya know
Grow out of it
Peak around the wall
Who's crowding yall
Not my story
Flash forward
I'm just here to record it
Of course
Why wouldn't I?
Portals and doorways
Are the Same thing
Wait, wouldn't that be cosmic  foreplay?
Who cares
Can't prepare one bit
Don't you dare try and parent me
Can't and don't distract you from
Doing it
Do more
Duty to drop bombs
And send thought bullets
Sa'll good when the observer isn't hurting right?!?!
Take me out of the equation
Destroy/create  pains/gains
Conflicting issues
And I turned my back
And let it become a wall
Apologies, some are long overdo
They know not what they do
But most times I think they do
Let me take a sec
To sit down and
duel this one out
Please stop talking
Can't concentrate
Voi/ces Hiss
Toppling over
One another
Assuming their all above rank
Ain't okay with playing favorites
Untie me

Feed your ego to the dogs
Finally freed from the fog
That's alot
That's a body
That's like alot to follow
Also,
Make sure you mock
The other comics
Cuz I wouldn't wanna cause
False hope
Ironic
How you lost confidence
When
You was on top of the world
Til you got on stage
Stay tuned
All the way to the end
Ya'll prolly ready for the plot twist
It's all for show
But yo, watch this
Finale' I voluntarily
Throw a bottle
Of cotton and lava stones
I lit from the suns' light
My cocktails are molotovs
Why flaunt or front
Im fully flawed
And now Im wishing I
called home....

Oh no
dot dot dot
....................
"thought so"

Paranoia agent
Less placating
more fragrance
I aim to never let this conscience
Split
Though it looks to be sifting,
Like Dust through an empty house
Keep me bothered..on my toes
So i can keep the monsters at bay

I dont wannna be a hostage
And I don't wanna be another monster watching
All my brothers hang
From crosses
Because I couldn't stop
My jaw from popping
led to the poison pit yet again
And ate a written I should have never put in pen

cut the chord,
show me ten of swords
. i'll absorb it
or just force it back into the vortexx,
he said, that death was coming for me next.
how bout you call the birds to talk about that ****...
going solo,
what's left of the tribe
Striving to chop off heads

Sooo I wrote this outta the blue last night super quick...not entirely sure what I'm talking about here yet haha

I may not be well-liked, but despite this, I will keep climbing for a higher life, was once advised that  "I must supply my own light or I shall die tryin'  Doubt they would write me in this script, simply for your excitement. Interwoven into wordplay.
Reciting mighty hieroglyphics Mind you, the haikus re-build themselves from ****. Make my itches. interesting. again. And follow blindly.
As if all of my lovers and kids
Had been sent
to defy me.
©️ Camryn Johnson, bowedbranches, twighead

One in a million
Lately they make **** by the trillions
Milk dry the stillness
That was meant for us
To feel healing
Amongst the weight of the
Too much
The faint rush
This leakage of black sludge

When real danger happens
It will be downplayed
Making US think
It's okay
To be afraid
And blame the little guy
Don't think of commenting
Just keep that trap shut
Kick me under infinite tables
Sweep it under multiple rugs
Stop BLUFFING the DONT BE
DONT BE DUMB
Dialog, that keeps
Popping up....
It was around this point that my notebook got stolen
And I lost an amazing poem
But new version coming soon.

NO land owned
NO field of gold to catch me
NO big parade to welcome me back
But I get bug chirps
And static humms
And that is much more filling
We are the dumb
and we are the willing
The sound of white reminds us
How much time we steal
Or does it get stolen from us?chewed through it in our chest now we make our way
While wounded
Saying NO to death
Each time it tempts me

I don't particularly care
For being tossed aside
But it happens almost always
Therefore I drown my head
In substances
And slice away tainted flesh
Pain is a learned thing
A crude repeating punishment
But how it taught me so much
Your a freind
And your a front
A teacher but a ****
I hate you pain
But you brought me healing
THANKS!

trying something new
Its time to
Crawl outta my box
No Stoppin'
Push that foot
So heavy in the gas
That they deem you to be
"ALIVE"
Adrenaline is the easiest high
Hyperventilate til were lazy
& blue in the face

There's certain albums
When I listen to 'em
I can't help but think of you
And I can't help but thank you
For showing me such beautiful things
And teaching me what you taught me
At such a young age
So if your reading this
Thank you...
I'll forever be in debt to you
For being both my lover and sensei
And showing me such beautiful things
It shaped who I am today
And I could say its a shame
We didn't work out the way
I wanted us to
But of course we were supposed to separate
For reasons much bigger than our brains could handle..

So this crazy ****
Keeps finding
Cobalt colors constantly
Am I on the cusp of stumbling?
If this is real then
Why do we still dream?
Keeper of
Select scrap moments
Cuz I'm supposed to have
Mad focus
Feels like home
To be floatin' on my own again

Claymation
Stop-motion
Plots open often

Matrix
Play tricks
Maybe I'll makeshift a shiv
To shake off these shivers
Really Hate to miss her
My favorite pinched nerve..

She's a Fata Morgana

In the dark she's a phantom

Oh,   too bad she can't love...

My imaginary girl

Is just an image

Can never accept the flaws

Of the women I been with

Oh, the one I'm after doesn't even exist!

An elaborate magic trick,

A babe with satellite skin,

Some endless labyrinth

One I wanna get lost within

Like living in a fool's paradise..

Framed this whole Psychotic
                                         Paradigm

Low and behold I fell for my own hoax!

Now cursed 'cause I can't love things as they are

Then what's love but a mirage?

Not something written in the

Stupid Stars

It's a cloud formation

Mid chord progression

Liquid on the ground I'm steppin'

Its' just an idea

An extra image

Somethin' I'd want to believe in

But likely never be given

Something you only see in

fantasy        Or fiction

She's not real

Neither is the idea

Burn em both

***** bad
WOMAN good
LADY BETTER?

YOU SAID IT LIKE A CATCH PHRASE FOR A WHILE

PLAYFULLLY ELUSIVE, IS SHE


WHO IS ME? ME'S A ADULT BABY

  HALLUCINATING

A Fata Morgana

Guess I should jus let go??

Its either
Chaos, contagion, or comatose
They weigh in
Those
Heavy
Pheromones
find a way to
Overgrow
Almost anything
No Matta what

Know your groceries
They say with a
melting clock hanging
The danger of favoring
A shelter too soon
Is we lose grip
Of the real ****
Decorative towels
& premium paint;
Dressed to the tea
In chemical waste
But its all about the tapestry
The plastic fruit
With no distance weighed
..
If you knew anything
(NIHILS) you'd hate yourself
And get your brain to melt
Bc the pain always helps
When your a slave to
A swell
Conveyed
By someone
Else
Cyclical bent hell
Far from minerals
Wrenched from
Silly shells
Miracles,
Subliminal
Intimate
With a centerfold

They ask me
why I'm always spaced out, because my brain is fun
.. full of circuits
reworking
a chaos circus
to learn
and relearn
constantly
gotta get up on yo feet
to feed it
so you say your lost at sea?
Please
I don't wanna hear it
Just heal it,
honestly...

As of late
I'm scared to sleep
To plunge my
head heavy
in a pile of pillows
To feel "at home"
For only a moment
Then I notice the closeness
Was just my lonely
Using illusions to subdue
my human
thinkin'
maybe
It  saves me
from
breaking  daily
Clock work can't get
The glue to stick
My squishy equipment
Has always been a nuisance
You've been holding onto
your own skin
  since gravity's
forgotten you
Orphaned
at hells door
Clenching linens
Tight fists
Just might fight the fire
Death danced into
My chest
Don't expect to escape this
God had given me a gift
Can't just Indian give it
Back to the wind
Listen....
Mama didn't raise me
To quit
I gotta mission to finish

Have you seen
Where serpents
Twist
Into one flesh
Are they ripping off
Ones' heads?
Or are they
Simply
a symbol
Of the double helix
System
So impossible
To crack codes
Crack skulls
Let's peek inside
Its clavicle

Brought back
For the last time
Gambling w grenades
Was our favorite pastime
Rhyming to get your mind right
Recently,
The reason that I can't write
Is bc you died before you
Felt the spotlight
And I'm not talented without you
GONE before our time
2020 was the worst year of my life....

Faulty prospects
Aw-fu-lly in-comp-etent
I'm all blocked up
And honestly
*******
At the result
**** the tick took
Why can't I rewind this clock?

Do you ever miss me?
Finding all of these forgotten songs
I wrote for you
10 plus years of hope
Hoping I'd learn how to get over you
I filled my void with food,
With hunger,
With chemicals,
With ***,
With words,
Waiting for each one
To fill me with warmth
But I hadn't felt it since
These old songs match the scars on my arms
And I'm left here wondering
Was it ever mutual?
Did you even feel a fraction
Of the hurt I did?

I'll break it down for ya
break dance beach

I read dem daily Eulogies
To early tunes
I know it sounds morbid
but don't worry its cool
Gives me a chance to duel my dual diagnosis
SOON as the warm sun
Cast my curtains open
***** you bet, Both Sides, Show up  and You know they be holding
Tip o' the sword  Tack sharp
Make Sure that poisons' potent
Soon as the worms' are pushed
Up from the dirt
Good mernin ' Sermons
...likely to listen yet never
Learn

Eat my world up
Then ink me out
It's awfully foul
When the stuff leaks
Wow!

**** down an assumption
Sometimes they get stuck
So I stutter
**** it,
AT this point
The floor could shut
Or shatter from under me
Either way
I wouldn't be stunned

overcompensation
Wasted
For the others
To hide in
Tight-fit basements
Some are vacant
Some are shrewd
But both take advantage of the smallest in the room

In awe
I' always fall
Full-******
Keep the struggle,
I huddle up to
What little I got left
Lotta nights
I Layed in bed
ANGRY
'Cause all i ate
Was humble pie
For days on end
Spent the hours before morning
Blaming myself
I can tell its unhealthy
Making hell outta heaven
Rather have heavens made of  hell
Meanwhile my head swells
Its screamimg "help me"
You ever felt the full effect
Of your helmet
melting?

Sharp teeth
Rabid brain
Blindly Flapping
Me. Gasping.
Bet a bish
Had blacked out
Gotta get up
To get down

Stay perplexed
Hey, maybe this time
We could actually  make a amends
Instead of  faking it.
But you may keep playing
Slave on this f---ing ship
My eyes roll backward
Til they hit the floor
Almost rotten from stagnation
Melancholy  Mania
Tends to **** yo brain from yo body
Reality  pauses
You are paralyzed with info
Sleep walking while awake
Its like loving t he bed of nails
You lay in..
Do I learn anything when I alleviate pain?
Whats the real meaning
To all this craving ?

Trigger happy
Finger driven
Don't lift my body
Just my spirit
Is it weird
That I don't always
Like sensual
Unusual at best
I'm used to my human  I guess
I am another animal
let out all my anomalies
& scream for closure,
For criticism,
For Recognition

No more power-play
Fixated on fake arrangements
That hang off each neck  
I try not to show up
All in faded days

I bathe in good riddance
trickle my fingers
over the warmth as it cleanses
create ripples
that eventually die out
playing God for a moment
wash the sins away
savor this flavor beading down
tickling over my femininity
FIVE MINUTES EARLIER
I was smothered in gluttony
slathered in bacon grease
purged away my worries insecurities and uncertainties
pain was unheard of
smell the sickness
fogging the windows
clouding my future and blanketing the room
the aroma is a reminder, I earned this rejuvenation
exhausted. throat throbbing.
self-betrayal
name calling
slaughter the voice
That caused
Awful sobbing
Where's the positive reinforcement?

Just prose of brutal honesty
I do drugs
I write
but nothing ever satisfies
underneath the bones in my chest
lies a gaping hole
Im not sad, im not scared
but empty
of almost everything
something missing
can't find it
can't fill it
spent countless hours tryin'  to **** it
why cant I be satisfied?
Nothing can cure my loneliness
not people
nor time
I just cant be satisfied.

The world rejects me
tastes then spits me out
such a bitter texture on the tongue
I have been given the ability
to understand & argue
both sides of an issue
might just be a symptom
of my fickle disease
I am a toy in life's childish hands
spreading sneezes
as it shares me with the other worlds

We are trapped within ourselves
noses glued in biographies
cobwebs covering the shelves
the big book of 'WHYs' I havnt even tried to read
too much respect, too much mystery
I leave it there abandoned
because my stomach churns to look at it
meant for mint condition
wanted and forbidden
it took so much time to sew up
took so much thought when written
I know you BREATHE EAT SLEEP,
like me you have human needs
Page by Page
you spectate
We feed off of mutual inspiration
WE

Breath in
take a wiff
Fight off blind spots
Dissolve these
four walls
that box me in
eating away at my perception
fill my lungs up with smoke
...pause...
and choke choke choke
the worries
loosen from the bone tissue
and temporarily
this gives me a profound dream

It is,
cracking as we speak
basking in it?
Flapping
just to reinforce the seams
Tired of rhyming
tired of squeezing out strength
in between bed sheets
Dreams do not make us durable
if anything they trick the psyche
It's okay though
It is a test
we are all eligible
to
TAKE

Admission
Several half songs later
I stay at the type-writer: tapping
I am looking for structure, flexibility,
a stimulating blend of images
To rattle my listeners.

Too bad I come up empty

It's a shame I always crack
under the pressure of fake glass
incompletion makes a home in me
and I can't come back to health
until the books are written,
the songs are sung,
and my creations are raised effectively

But they would still act the same
as a **** stain
on haute couture..
Why pass it off as anything more?

I accept my role to be colorless, insignificant, and small
an ant can only be so tall
It is when we admit our futility
that we become a human, luminous