The itching; affects, don't let 'em tell you otherwise
Stay Lost in the ink blots
I promise, It'll help you forget
We're all scared
We're all aware
but w continue keep it quiet.
We continue to hold onto
what we should riot.
We attempt to itch away
what we cannot change..
and that just makes us uncomfortable.
But in that frustration I learn,
love doesn't exist without forgiveness.
But that still doesn't fix this!
So I drink away
my mangled brain
trading this pain
for dizziness

Dear God
forgive me yet again
for I stirred the pity ***
a bit too long
and its honestly pathetic

How painful it is to lose your soul-mate...
Dunno how to make it
How heavy my heart hangs
A little lower each day
Can't hardly write since your life was taken
Our plans for 2020
Quickly spiral down the drain
What to say to myself
To keep From going insane
Blatantly angry
Sapien Shaking
Maybe it's the pain
Or the way my shadows chase me
Aye, Meet me in the middle
Bounce a verse against my head
My stomach summons butterflies
Finally  alive  
Like a child
You always made me feel inspired
Trying to write without you
I feel,
Like a fire dying out..

My sweet
His eyes look up at me with sorry sighs
Those sorry’s cry,
A puddle of gluttonous goodbyes
Poured into your sight
Expression crept upon a still face
Still facing your ‘just waits’
Your ‘too lates’
Take a leap of faith-
It might be worth it

Warrior
In carnate
Heartache
Just a massive morale
Boost
'cause  who has lost?
When were all on
The same team
No, my molecules don't
Know me...
Good Guess!
My wolf is lonely
Honing in on echoes
Always calling out for homie

God please
WE
Needa learn
some patience
Learn some faith
what a weight
to take off
you got me?
keep your promises
to modesty
watch over me honestly,
on your word
will you wake me
when I wander off
too far

Compassion & Action
set me free
jus really need to be lonely
for a second
Left NAKED
so that stretched seconds
**** dry your insides
shoulda stuck to daydreaming
Jesus please release me
the leash is lingering a bit
too long
The ring is ceaseless
Disease that'll likely eat my head
Times like these I kinda regret
tattooing "Ramble On"
On my forearm
Though it's an art and it's cathartic


again this is directed at a select few
5 minutes of peace
please please
make the squawking stop
I'm gonna get ornery
Too blind to see the exit sign
Found Guidance
in the crisis  
You cake on a coat of
niceness
most likely
hiding behind
******* masks
f* your jaw
you can't stop
flapping

Woman of the house
modern princess in a tower
type ****
Type up your **** talk
and I'll chalk it
It'll be fun
to see your
fingertips
fall off
My auto bio should be called,
"LOST CAUSE"
Cold Contact
Case Closed
Arms open
Mouth sewn
Fit to freak the **** out
Leave me outta the line up
Likely to live with delusions
....on a loop
don't ever call me
"baby"
that name is reserved
for him

Your incinerating your
Enemies
from the inside out
Munipulate many brains
To think their hate
Was self created
Manifest Projection  


From negative self respect
Pedestal perspective
Though only for a quick minute

They shall receive bad attention
Until you end up just as impotent
The imperfect deserve punishment
That has become your fix
To pluck what little light
Survives
In starry eyed fighters
The kinda guy that
Makes misery his company
Bc his understanding
Of love
Is malfunction
In the bloodstream.

Bats in the toolshed
dont give a f*
about sunsets
spoonfed and searching for a subject
cutting hymns into symmetry
What does it matter if our tattered limbs
dont fit right?
We're still elegant
in a scary way
All too familiar
I'm disgusted by it's
tiny frame
and how our dicey angst
gets in the way
a rat with wings
hanging upside down
in a handmade shed
on the outskirts of town
who knows where
and who knows when
evolution made a creature
so gruesome so grim

You never could protect me
and I put every bit
of hope in you
But you never could just love me
simply, truly, without condition
I'd suffer just to make you smile
and I could waste time remembering
every time my heart cracked how, when, and why
I let you build a room there
and explore each chipped piece
til I reluctantly shed my skin
and gave you permission
to burrow on in
though I sensed
several faces
and smelled a familiar
stench
it couldn't stop
magnetism
Afterward, time stretched
my imprint fades
into faint blurs
and your hate
still aims to
steal my laughter

They say you
can recreate the **** you've lost
forget-me-nots wont work here
Pitiful Stranger
Need I remind you of what you are able...
wait for the veil to someday slip
A fib as this is likely fatal.

Asking for my better half
Hazmat lab-rat
Tricked by the lack of love
hurting from the could had's
Mad as a hatter in the skull cap
Flashes of my last laugh
soundtrack
Sad, but I don't get them back
Could you really match me
Course I was forced
to see evil
in such beautiful
people
Still shattered by the impact
Can you teach me
How to re-believe in magic?

Sour Statistics
for breakfast
caress the
kyanite
before the doctor
walks on in
Figure you can
fix the intent..
just quit hittin the
self destruct but-ton
Let it all come un-done
Constantly undercover
but abundant because of it
bouta buck 50
but buckin' the f**king
government
bounda break free
cutting the ties to
our suffering
come on world,
I've been too patient
throw me a bone that
I can play with.

Per-fect-ly
proportionate
in pretty little pieces
the carnelian cracks
that clumsy ****
cant meditate
can't mean it
come accomplished
no conscious
constantly overdone
exhausted

Signal sacred
smokey basement
Holy, hatefit
Make me brave
just brave enough
could I stay an angry sapient
with no ideas
no chance of makin it
Where the hell you been?
Your time is up

there it is
a little glint
of sunrise
urging my eye- lids
to pry themselves open
again
though we can hope
for what might've been
Having trouble just trying to understand
I must keep missing the message
within .. us
lustin' after
inter dimensions
But it's make believe
hey, you know,
What is strange
Is lately
I no longer have to need
Only sweat & bleed
POETRY
Pushing ink to
swim deep
via bloodstream
She
is so complete
but eaten up with
Ancient Bruises
How bout you
Go
Get a grip
then
make me lose it
look at u
misusin
uniqueness
As if
It wasn't given
as a gift
So that your hues
can breathe less
Let my limbs
weaken
when I reach the
deep-end
Yes you yes you
Yes! you are the glue
that keeps my
parts from leaving
"I love the drama
in the dry heave
Eye look for ward
in putting it all behind me."
Release all things
Which make us nervous
Sir
I dont think
even heard this
****, didn't peg you as
squirmish
**** It
let's ready the curtain
I swear
I didn't mean to hurt them
sorry
I guess I'm still learnin

Gimme just a few
Seconds
I've been waiting
For us
To one day
Finally
Fuse again
No old habits...
No Abusive Ness
The nature of aging
Said stupid kids
I can't tell where
The stoop begins
With Suits that cover
Up every sin
Sticks
Static tension
Lack of friends
But from our fingers
Something electric
Fizzed
I need a few more seconds
To confess
How I've loved you
Ever since
We were both
One of them
Lazy stoop kids

Here we go
here's my toast to you
toast to the wasn't
toast to the wish it was
cheers to cherished seconds
and subtle acts of love
GO ON!
scorch me if ya need to
and I shall do the same
the multiverse
is still jeering
in regard to our mistake
Meanwhile....
I'll be weeping
wondering why we ever were
why our hearts fused
and our heads got filled with magic
given years of laughter
I was reachin' for excuses
questioning why you
didnt care
about me in that moment
the one moment I wasnt there
I keep dreamin
til 'i break down piece by piece
my thymus gets confused
constantly convinved its
still apart of you
quit plucking heart strings
youre so ******* cruel
the weight is heavier than
that of the moon

It's been said by the tribesman
grief is definite
death is certain
I hate how it's poetic

Head stretched too thin

to write the final sentence
On a script
our maker
had prewritten

Alive & Arms wide
we collide
with oblivion
Still I sin
and continue
breathing

in spite of terrible tribesman
that like to keep
lies locked between
teeth
and spread stories
where sweet girls are ******
in hopes they believe they're
superior
to the victims
they meant to
rip to pieces

stealing dreams
from the few people
not stagnating
in misery

Sad we started
leaving wishes
where they bloom

Demented Distance
dead empty
the light
inside you
is soon to diminish

Doomed to move
through dimensions
useless in my attempts
to rescue the universe

Demolish all the nonsense
you've ever wanted
Everything you were
taught inside that box is false

From afar
I watched
as you dropped
the plot
Demi Gods died for all this?

until held hostage
in a monsters death grip
ever since I expect
the most unfortunate
of situations

because its better to
remain
in a constant state
of suffering

Paint
        a
          paradise

just
     to
        hide


a prison in

                     Apologize
                                       to try
                                                and fix it

Timid *******
                  become buzzard food
looks like you got lots to lose


                   Lucid State
                                   clipped a fuse
                                                     a little too late

I'm not used to this
Afraid I aint able
to keep you sane
let alone stable..
Hey who knows?

Maybe I can lift
your body off
the pavement
my angel wings
mangled

secretly
breakin' myself
so that I can
save you.

Lu fin du monde
reclusive til the
nukes go off
Hydrogen bomb

NO time to hideaway
its survival now
some will call to christ
give all away their things
take from the greats
com-ply with society...
be a slave

Go to sleep
stay awake
face your fake
*** self in the mirror
here your yellin'
"You're not allowed to kick down my pillars!!"

Use said excuses
for fillers
Feel my heart -beat
fill me in
convinced it's
hardly an art piece
what a sin

DOOMED
to be seen,
exposed,
frozen,
in the same pose
same time zone

paintings that hang
in the hopes
that they inspire
passers by
stuck shovelin'
their way back home

I've been constantly
lost for a long time
tend to log all I've learned
like these kids will buy it

No Soul
Hollow molds
hide what little
they could grab

we watch as
home
gets
blown away

We get up

and we go

wing it to spit

venom over c-notes

behold

here's an

unspoken notebook

full of secrets

she will soon

hold too close

The crow
still remaining
every morning
forever hanging
on the corners
of lids
I sense
paranoia
seeping in

The drops ,
they drip
but gently
This time
I can only hope
the softness reminds him
of me
Where have you run off to?
You left me
out here in the rain
to dry myself

All I really need
is to know that youre breathing
A feeble attempt at
knowing my own pity

Though it's for the best
I keep on walking
I could cross off
favoring modesty
over flinging undergarments

to hardly anyone who gave
two s*s
...will be addressed incessantly
until you're quest is up

Drug Addict,
you made your precipice
sank into a mess
you'd never see yourself
destroying
In a million years

Burn the books you bled into
Sweat pouring
heavy pencil scribbles
fog your head with voices
beg for answers at the door

Doesn't wanna give a ****
Doesn't think about tje context
enough
Doesn't fill your mug
When the pace wanes

Were shucking to make a budget
We can live on
Or move on, to a new landscape
And hideaway until
Our minds are changed

Never to weather
Never to erode
Doesn't wanna trail off
Reaching for unwelcome homes

Doesn't wanna appear shakey
But works the twitching
Anyway
Fit it in a box
To keep on display
Always

I thrive off weakness
Seeing the deepend
As a way to way to
Try and breath again

Oh let the stars ALIGN finally
No longer will I fret messing with em incessantly
Or wish they were someplace else

Live in the present
I expect it will be gone soon
And so will they
I dedicate every inkling
Of love I mustered up


Dumped it
Every bit
All at once.

F* it.
Because
I have practiced
How to muster
LOVE
From the flood

Apres moi, la deluge
And after the flood
Here I come
patterns repeating

I need to
summon
A hundred suns
To soak up the

The damage done..

F the
I'll be okay
stage
Now stunned
By some vanished
Anagram.

I've managed to stand
On two legs
Hexed to slave
over fugue states.

Staple sleigh bells
To our heads
Never to be lead
astray

We know death
Is a regular
Keep kicking sedatives
Down our throat
Hoping we'll get the message.

She ain't dumb
Just lacks perspective..

Quick!
Que the narrations
A smooth voice got let loose
And truth gotta facelift

So freakin' biased
We cant help
It's in our nature
To fluff up the sequence

Relinquish some regrets
In attempt to rewrite
Any meaning or misprints
That was etched under the skin of it...

Holding all the pieces
We can Picasso this ****
Or just leave it. as it. already. is.
So raw so so rhythmatic

Naked Atoms
Just reacting
Simple math
Creature of habit

Tend to stress instead of laugh
Put one in a cave,
WATCH US MAKE ANYTHING ...
Anything But our own happiness

Happiness, what is that ishh?

Hobgoblins

Hanging, 
upside down
with his mouth pried open
slurping up  seepage 
in the plumbing pipes
dead skin, sweat grime
He'd be inclined to take a bite.

Some claim these creatures as
spiders
or rats 
but I have seen one in the act
Little ******* hides below the sink
to feed on tender infant flesh..
He salivates at bath-time
snapping at soft bottom fat
to fill his belly with a warm, blood-soaked 
snack
Baby cries another whole in mama's ear..
And I listened for a rummage in the plumbing pipes.

If weakness is unveiled
Could a foe be a friend

If you're skin read like braille
Could that friend be a lover?

We've seen what the edge looks like,
How much the impact would hurt...
But, I cant get over how fun it looks to fall

This town is diseased
with atrophy
and it's snatching whatever's left
Godlyness
doesn't exist here.
Only the disgust
behavioral ****
we season our addictions with.


I'm worn down
Still refuse to forfeit
**** out the  bad
If you crave bliss
Then you'll have to avoid it
Heavily
etching forcefeilds
From the electricity

We now
Got a hex to protect us



Flee far away
from this vortex
Every inch I move forward
Means more
getting ****** in

But before that,
I was flooded with
scenes of great importance
I want to be better...
than this town,
these people,
and have something
Redeemable

In the end
I'm alone
tapping in my room
with a big cloud of anger at my back
..hoping it'll make me run faster.

Starving
artist
harvest
hardship
harness 
harmlessness
in the darkest sharpness
where the sharks live
and started
ripping apart their target
settle 
like a heartless carcass 
parting with the flesh..
-written in '13 by camryn johnson

Steam kettle thinking
im not in the mood
for swift wishful thinking
smudge upon the blacktop
semicolon dot dot

The symbol that I cant crack
a blank space where I am to craft some sentence
the etching that describes
my indolence
my frazzled brain turned
to mush

Just like they predicted...
Don't let the gates age you
untwist & pick padlocks
that stand ground arount you
Alive in progression

We have no choice
but to propel a voice-box
over the noise.

Stumble clumsily
to that of which you think
is your sensei...
and ask
Why must I bow?
Take a break just take it down
a notch
Just watch me howl
at the moon
meditate let the sun
hit you in the face
Awaking you to a new
confusion
"better mean what you say
so you'll still be sitting when you
float away through hazy old
sayings displays testaments to progress
even frogs respect goggled honesty
from lilypad perspectives
directive flush and disconnect
from freshness"

We are soothed by the sounds of sleep
get youthinized, get grey matter to leak
unconscious encouragement
mutterings so sweet
Let me bask in the drift
Transit to a spot more hospitable
less hospice
one where tongues flail
against the grain
passing insurmountable grass
that has yet to be grazed
or did you expect a
land unscathed
would you rather be subject
to the sound of white
or the sound of writhe
cry yourself to sleep
til you can't see straight
til you write your final ending
you feel as if your too late

Adventurous tales
from the darkest intenstines
Graceful vapors, seethe and strangle
Destiny waits for those who
bite down

DEAR EARTH,
we cry at the sight
of your curves
each minute I'm given
is a new way to face it


Avert the curses
my enemies  
burned in the skin
primal urges encourage
you to use the hurt
as it hits

FREEDOM is about to be plucked
from my eye beds
and thistles will take their
place
A thorny reminder of a slow-moving
monster..

This pen beats the ink to
stink bleeding into oil wells
that were too afraid to speak

Breaking bone barriers
from reasons in the distance
begging to be drug into
existence

Ask & receive
I can see your conceited
halo
Gleaming in those shiny rhyme schemes
What are you afraid of?
trailing off the barren track?
Bumping into the unfamiliar?

Let the people see
your trembles
only the truest humans
can relate

The trembles that make
your temple shake at an
involuntary rate
makes you reach for
dreams you buried
eons ago

The kind of text that
make my nostrils flare
and water build up
in my tear ducts
words placed carefully
to tell a tragedy
vonneguts work was layed
in my path to ventilate the
cluster ****
that was stuck
in my skull cap
Fragments fit to remind me
I've gone stagnant
and as a human
I should never settle
until death

Loosing your identity
loosing your identity
scraping your knees
on the concrete
cause your feeling a bit
off beat

Great mother,
allow me to sway & wallow
with the sea
because I'm sick of the stillness
and silence of the
buildings useless

I wonder if I'm using you to
make my world make sense
you haven't looked at me the
same way since...

Divine thought
busted out the top then stopped
caught mid-moment another day
good, bad, and ugly, and loving it
man down, malfunction
mild brain eruption
Tell me if I'm caught in the
stagnant melting ***
You aint sheltered
By no corporate ****
send your cops to block me off

Tell me I've been slashed off on the list
of high class citizens
pretend im with them
to sneak a sip of gin
and make a mochery
of their plastic, puffed up
Way of life
It will hoist you up and
drain the dreams from your ears
They don't accept me here
or respect the ones who have the GUTS
to be weird

Dare ya to judge
cuz we love to **** with normalcy
You peek inside like a stray dog
crying to the cold night
About as vacant as a vessel can get
transfixed on your picket fence
botox stretched lips
spewing straight *******

You can miss me with your stipulations
you're obliged to have nice things
No thanks
This is not what we were taught
to deem as important


Spoiled silver spoon snoots
I could learn ya how to be human
Lets shed those comfort zones
Have I been snoring through my big show?
Eyes always open
fists always closed
teeth tightened  to the point where
words get stuck in the gullet

Go head swallow that lump in your throat
Let it digest and sit quiet
Anguish aching
in the pit of my stomach
so shut up with your
need to squawk at the
I don't need you tp tell me
my words mean more than I do.


I am an instrument but I am affected too
Watch the monkeys dance
document this social ludicrous
can't believe they even live like this
I will teach my kids to know the difference
"Social Acceptance" isn't winning
Dance monkeys Dance
like cyborgs in a psych ward

Forever snoring in a narcissistic coma

Keep your eyes on the lamppost
for that is the only thing
that matters
Matters?? Not
sirens, cellblocks, or
mindless chatter
Place it on shelf
the wind knows it must
shatter

Coax the lion
tempt the snake
guide the sheep
and lead the wolves astray

They say you can recreate
the **** you've lost
forget me nots
wont work here
pitiful stranger
I need to remind you of what you are able...
You've got ten fingers
A lavish book set

I press play
dribble the drop
juggle what I've got
now  watch me
go off

12-2-12
Money bags
I will never get my hands on
I know it will curse the man
who stands on it but it does
keep you worry free
I saw my future through
a kaleidoscope that day
and forced my memory
to tuck it away



scared to death (I'm shaking)
of all my "want but never haves"
I wish I never wanted this
wish I never had to have..