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Public Diary Oct 2015
I wish i was exaggerating on how its always one good thing then a string of bad.

My luck is always the worst, i always complain about how i'm cursed. But i'm not lying, it ***** how hard im always trying. Good fortune just doesnt come my way that much, when it does its always just a touch.

It never hangs around, it always feels like I'm hell bound. Why can't I just be free? Why can't I just say "I'm glad to be me"?

I hate my luck, and its not just my attitude. I always try to have gratitude!

The universe just hates me, what rotten luck! I wish the majority of things that happened to me didnt ****. I wish it didnt feel like im being tested, i just want to feel rested! I want to have a break from this, i want to have a turn in being surrounded by bliss. I want things to work in my favor, not always tasting a bitter flavor.

Somday ill get my turn, someday ill be free but until then....its just bad luck and me.
If only i was exaggerating on how often unlucky i always am.....
Public Diary Nov 2014
You've glanced and looked my way for a while now
With you're eyes bright blue like the sea.
I wonder what you think when you look at me.

Now I realize you're as pretty as can be, but that's not all, there's more about you that eyes cannot see.

You've got brains to match your beauty, truly something rare.
You're shy but you're so sweet, someone everyone should meet.

Just thinking about how your eyes dart away when our gazes meet makes me smile.
I hope we can get together in a while

I want to talk to you, make you laugh and smile
eventually talking to you about being together for a while.

I'm not smarter than you, not more attractive or sweet, in every category,
you truly have me beat.
But if we do get together I have a feeling it'll last
and one things for sure,
I'm falling for you fast.
I wonder if your glances don't mean anything and I'm just reading more than there is. Well even if that's the case, it wouldn't hurt to get to know you
Public Diary Jan 2015
Hot, dry, no water in sight
The sun let's down burning light
For survival you fight, pushing forward with all your might

Skin cracked lungs bathing in sand each breath feels like a meal of niddles impalling you inside tears dry you can't even cry

The journey seems infinite there's no water in sight the wind more celascent than the sun dreams of rivers unfold as our minds are enveloped hope is dead we are doubters in the land of vultures


The vultures circling with winds blowing
A storm of sand envelopes the land. It fills your lungs making you cough and hack all while the sun and sand beat on your back
It gets in your eyes and you can no longer see nor stand, eyes shut, at the mercy of the sand
Bold=Jamie
Italicized=Kai
Public Diary Jan 2015
I'm am the ocean, I can be
beautiful and **dark
Public Diary Jan 2015
I love you

You're the one that makes me feel whole, the one who sheds light on my tired soul.

Push your lips to mine. Hold me and tell me everything will be fine. Tell me our dreams will come true, tell me "I can't live without you"

Tell me I'm the core of your heart like you are for mine, say *I love you

And plant flowers in my mind.

My mind was destroyed by the pain of the past, shrouded in darkness, broken needing a cast. Say I love you and erase the dark. Say I love you and leave your love's mark.

Plant flowers in the wickedest parts of my soul, where darkness continues to take its toll. Say I love you and leave your love's mark.
*Claim my heart as yours and say it does not belong to the dark
I haven't had a rhyming poem in a while so
Public Diary Jan 2015
I'm the boy who always wore shorts and a t shirt
I'm the boy that never felt pain
I'm the boy who never got cold
I'm the boy that was brilliant
I'm the boy that always was the toughest
I'm the boy that was said to be indestructible

I'm now the boy that wears long sleeves
I'm the boy who laughs sometimes but not as much as I used to
I'm the boy that doesn't try anymore
I'm the boy that gave everything he had to one girl
I'm the boy that's had his heart broken beyond recognition
I'm the boy who gives himself bruises
I'm the boy that's had his world plunged into darkness

**im the boy that's still holding on
Public Diary Dec 2014
What are those? Are they buildings?
"No, they're the walls"
Walls? When did they get there? Who built them?
"Obviously you. You are the king of this place, but you built those walls nearly two months ago. Don't you remember?"
I guess I forgot.....
Public Diary Feb 2015
~the most over rated ******* in the world
Public Diary Jan 2015
Thank you for being here for me when I felt alone and sad.
Thank you for listening to me scream when I was mad.

You understand my pain because youve gone through it too.
Very quickly, I opened up to you.
I told you what hurt, what made me scream and shout and you in return, calmed them into pouts.
You've calmed me down and made me feel like I wasn't alone.
You always help my mood quiet down into a calmer tone.

Thank you moona, thank you for listening to me
You always help me set my pain free :)
For moona c:
Thank you for helping me calm down
Public Diary Dec 2014
That feeling of being light headed and the  heaviness in my stomach brought upon hearing someone say they had a baby with you or you want someone else like that. The emptiness I'm feeling is so nostalgic
Public Diary Dec 2014
What's your favorite part about the rain?
The way that people can't tell the difference between the droplets that fall from the sky onto my face and the ones that form from my eyes
*Sighs*
Public Diary Jan 2015
He runs into the woods alone, sad from what he's seen. He runs and runs through the greens, wondering for the future what it means.

Slowly he walks home, a cave hidden in the trees. He lets soft cries of sadness get lost in the breeze.

He lays down, head low, the sadness in his heart continues to grow. Large warm tears form and fall, sadness running deep.

Slowly, the bear cries himself to sleep
Public Diary Dec 2014
silence*






Need I say more?
Public Diary Dec 2014
"You finally know my real name....I've been waiting for you to be able to hear it for so long now.....
Public Diary Dec 2014
Will 3 times the recommended dose **** me?
Public Diary Feb 2015
Time the most precious thing in the world, the thing that constantly slips through our fingers

Nothing will stop it, nothing can stop it

It is the ink that spells out the words for our life stories and one day

**the ink will run dry
Public Diary Dec 2014
Are you scared?
"scared of you? Hah, not even close!"
Really? I am....
"What kind of ******* is scared of himself? That doesn't make any sense!"
swords clash
The kind that knows what they're capable of when they no longer have restraints....
Public Diary Jan 2015
I'm envious of you two.

You both look so happy, truly in love.
You had to wait until he broke up with her and he finally did. Now you two are together, looking happier than ever.
You're being silly and goofy together, you laying on her lap.
You guys truly look happy.
You love her
And she loves you
I'm truly envious of you two
Just kinda jealous of these two enjoying each other even though I don't really know them
Public Diary Jan 2015
Oh how I hope and pray you're not hanging out with him today
Public Diary Jan 2015
When she holds his hand back and you die inside
Public Diary Jan 2015
I don't care what your precious monk says, you can't ******* buy salvation so stop sending thousands of dollars and destroying your marriage

You might believe her when she says you're going to be rich but nothing she's said has come true in the four years you started doing this and tell me this. Are you really so ******* greedy you'd throw away your marriage and tear your family apart all for money? You asked me if I would be okay having to keep living this lifestyle over and over again and you can be **** sure I would be. We have everything we need and more so there's no need to be greedy and try to get more.

Nothing good can come from greed and you better know that I'm not sending a dime to your monk because when you send her the last of your money, she's going to leave you in the dirt.

You can't buy salvation in any religion, that's something they can all agree on. You're not following a religion.

**You're following a cult
You've already sent almost 400,000 dollars, you're a **** fool for sending more
Public Diary Dec 2014
drip drip
It falls to the floor
drip drip
The vulnerability that comes with opening the door
drip drip
Should it be sealed again
drip drip
Maybe

"Hey!?"
..!...
"Quit spacing out"
shakes blood from blade"
Public Diary Dec 2014
"You forgot what is was like to have your mood shattered by a few measly words didn't you?
I'm sorry, I forgot you don't speak for a while after that happens"
*sighs*
Public Diary Dec 2014
Between crying and screaming in anger
Public Diary Dec 2014
**** I think it is a demon, I'm getting nauseous and my head is starting to spin. I started hearing the voice while I was gathering energy for a little to stay awake.
Is my soul under siege or am I just crazy
Public Diary Dec 2014
"hehe hi"
Who are you?
"Just someone, you have a lot of energy and that's what attracted me"
Is that so?
"Yup, in fact I'm watching you right now"
But I can't see you
A voice that popped into my head, it sounds like a little girl which is a very bad sign
Public Diary Jan 2015
I really wonder about you.
I don't think you're ever going to love me as much as you said you would.
I don't think you'll ever appreciate me staying as much as you should.

I never gave up on you, no matter what you put me through.
Broken promises, heart, skin I never threw you away like putting trash in a bin.
You've taken what I've given, but hardly returned, when will it be my turn?
To take.
To feel love.
When will it be my turn to feel like I'm put above?

You'll never love me like you should because after all.....
**you dumped me and wore another guys hood
Public Diary Jan 2015
"Don't ever let her go to bed crying and upset"
*what about him?
Public Diary Jan 2015
My mood is at absolute zero right now
Public Diary Dec 2014
Sext: I heard you think veins are hot, let me show you mine
*slashes with razor
Public Diary Dec 2014
Sext: make me feel again.....stab me right where my heart used to be before it was abused
Public Diary Jan 2015
"Careful chief, if you dig up the past all you'll get is *****"

I got ****** knuckles
Public Diary Jan 2015
The bullets fly, tearing flesh and skin
Hiding behind crossed arms, blood flying in the wind

Each hit like a huge bite, making the blood take flight

It covers te ground making everything red.
What it feels like to watch you love him and wait....
Public Diary Dec 2014
"The bear is dead
Upon his bed
Sheets soaked with red

Big surprise
Bears demise
Bleeding from his neck

Knife in hand
Bright red band
Bleeding heavily

Tears on cheek
Eyes can't peak
Closed, never to open again

Skin ice cold
No longer bold
Pale drained of life

The bear is dead
Upon his bed
Sheets soaked with red"
"Just a lullaby, for you A"
Public Diary Jan 2015
If you're into my poems, follow me on Twitter for similar tweets
Username: @SuishoKaigan
Public Diary Dec 2014
Sext: I want my knife blade to kiss my neck like you used to
Public Diary Dec 2014
"She probably was doing her makeup for her boyfriend and they're probably on a date right now. Maybe he's getting lucky too ;)"
......
Public Diary Nov 2014
Sometimes I wonder what I should do. I'm laying here feeling empty, alone, and dead inside
Public Diary Dec 2014
"911 what's your emergency?"
........
"Hello?"
Public Diary Jan 2015
If you get sick at the thought of someone else touching me
**why are you touching someone else
Public Diary Jan 2015
You know you're really out of energy when you can't even get negative energy from painful memories
It's not that I'm upset about anything, I'm just so freakin wiped
Public Diary Nov 2014
I wonder if ya still think its a good idea to be with him. Either way you're stuck with him wether ya like it or not for now.

I wonder if you wish it was me instead of him.

I wonder if ya wish I wanted to still date you instead of another girl.

I wonder if ya regret lettin me go
Public Diary Dec 2014
You still haven't shown any change....your words still don't match your actions.....the only difference is I've changed. I won't hesitate to pull back my final chance I gave to you. If you keep taking me for granted, I'll find someone who won't.
Public Diary Dec 2014
I hope I die today
Public Diary Dec 2014
"911 what's your emergency?"

She didn't treat me like a soulmate

"Sir I am an operator for this emergency line, not a counselor or physiatrist. Do you have an emergency or not?"

Yes, she treats him more like a soulmate than she did with me.
Public Diary Dec 2014
Shivering at the thought of you making even more guy friends, talking to them, and getting to know them better
Ugh
Public Diary Nov 2014
His name means "dweller by the sea" and he loved the sea at first sight.
Coincidence?
Public Diary Oct 2015
Theres nothing like writting on pages and filling them with your mind
Public Diary Dec 2014
walks to cabinet
"Are you are you, coming to the tree? They strung up a man. They say who murdered three. Strange things did happen here no stranger would it be. If we met at midnight, in the hanging tree."
gets painkillers
"Are you are you, coming to the tree? *opens bottle
Where dead man called out, for his love to flee. Strange things did happen here, no stranger would it be. If we met at midnight, in the hanging tree"
*swallows pills
Really thinking about it....
Public Diary Nov 2014
Sext: "trace my veins like the tip of my knife used to"
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