"Upset m?"
...............
"Sad?"
...............
"Are you gonna say anything?"
...............
"Silence?"
*weakly nods head

Sext: I heard you think veins are hot, let me show you mine
*slashes with razor

Thinking about you going to a party with a guy when you're all dressed up ***** :/

Punch the wall until you make it bleed with your blood

i was about to write something, but these thoughts should be written in a journal, not made public to make me seem desperate for attention when really i just want to get these feelings out

**** I think it is a demon, I'm getting nauseous and my head is starting to spin. I started hearing the voice while I was gathering energy for a little to stay awake.

"Put down the pills M, you've already taken six times the recommended, if you take twelve times the amount you're gonna die. You hear me? You're gonna die if you take that many!"

stares at pills through teary eyes

"Put em down M, you don't have to die"

If she picks him over me I do.....

"You're lucky you survived without any consequences last time when you took seventeen pills but these are pain killers. They will **** you if you take twelve. Don't do it M....don't do it"

*tears fall on pills

Slicing open your wrists and forcing yourself to smile

Theres nothing like writting on pages and filling them with your mind

I hope I die today

"The bear is dead
Upon his bed
Sheets soaked with red

Big surprise
Bears demise
Bleeding from his neck

Knife in hand
Bright red band
Bleeding heavily

Tears on cheek
Eyes can't peak
Closed, never to open again

Skin ice cold
No longer bold
Pale drained of life

The bear is dead
Upon his bed
Sheets soaked with red"

Well it's been an hour and a half and still nothing.....I'm gonna take a nap....

sighs

"You really shouldn't mope around you know"
.....
"Hey you could at least say something ya know"
......
tilts head up and sees glossy eyes
"sighs you just had to die huh? I guess I forgot how fragile you get, maybe you'll be more talkative tomorrow"

Does anyone else get angry enough to the point that it blows your sickness away

Umm should I just go to bed then........?

Shivering at the thought of you making even more guy friends, talking to them, and getting to know them better

"Don't ever let her go to bed crying and upset"
*what about him?

"Oh M, you look like a wild beast"
walks over toward body
heavy fast breathing, blood flowing from cut across torso
"Your eyes are nice and glossy too, like little pearls"

"911 what's your emergency?"

She didn't treat me like a soulmate

"Sir I am an operator for this emergency line, not a counselor or physiatrist. Do you have an emergency or not?"

Yes, she treats him more like a soulmate than she did with me.

"You forgot what is was like to have your mood shattered by a few measly words didn't you?
I'm sorry, I forgot you don't speak for a while after that happens"

Sext: throw me in the dirt like you did with my heart

loads five in the cylinder and spins it before locking it back into place

*pulls trigger

People told me that I was going through so much hurt when I cut myself and was suicidal because God has extremely good days for me in store. I wonder if you're that something that will bring those days. I wonder if you're what will bring those days.

"sighs you're heart is starting to crack more....you idiot, stop going through those things when you know it'll hurt you. You basically looked for the pain."

I know.......

"So then don't look!"

.......

*crack

If you're into my poems, follow me on Twitter for similar tweets
Username: @SuishoKaigan

"911 what's your emergency?"

My parents are yelling at eachother again and it's making me love her more.

"Umm sir, what exactly is the nature of your emergency?"

I love her and I want her to be with her right now

Sometimes I wonder what I should do. I'm laying here feeling empty, alone, and dead inside

You're gonna know the pain I went through now.....watching me want to talk to and be around another girl....I hope it doesn't hurt too much even though I know it will.....

I wonder what you thought while I went on a "date" with her....I wonder if you were hurting....

I don't like it whenever you say you have to leave.....mostly because I don't want you to go, but also because I'm sad you most likely text him while we're not talking....

drip drip
It falls to the floor
drip drip
The vulnerability that comes with opening the door
drip drip
Should it be sealed again
drip drip
Maybe

"Hey!?"
..!...
"Quit spacing out"
shakes blood from blade"

Cool

Someone please hold me back from breaking something

How quick i am to leave permenant reminders on my body for moments of psychological pain

But then again, those moments are excruciating and overwhelming, swalloing all other thoughts

Would you yell at me to hold your hand and touch your face while you held my limp body and brushed my pale face?

You know you're really out of energy when you can't even get negative energy from painful memories

We look at each other a lot, pretending to look at the teacher but looking the others way to see where the others eyes are fixed. I wonder what you think when we play this game of looking at each other then darting our eyes away when we're caught.
I wish I could know what you're thinking when I look at you.

"If this is love I don't want it, please just take it from me."
"Why does it hurt so much?"

"Don't let something suffer, put it out of its misery"
That's how it goes right......just let me die if you won't stop my suffering......let me **** myself if you refuse to leave him for me.......because while you're having fun with him.....you're killing your soulmate....let me die tonight......please......let all of my suffering and pain end tonight........

"All I can feel is sadness flowing from his blade"

Why is it that when I want to die, I feel **immortal

When she holds his hand back and you die inside

furiously slashes
"Come on, come on, come on! You movements are so slow! It makes me sick that you're the 'king' of this place"
feels sharp pain in stomach
"You're not worthy to be 'king'. You're way too weak"
starts pulling out blade
"You're nothing.....
pulls out blade completely
....But trash"
blood sprays from wound

"Careful chief, if you dig up the past all you'll get is *****"

I got ****** knuckles

You still haven't shown any change....your words still don't match your actions.....the only difference is I've changed. I won't hesitate to pull back my final chance I gave to you. If you keep taking me for granted, I'll find someone who won't.

Why are you sad.....why do such large tear drops fall from your eyes...?
nibbles on bread
"I dont know..."
*tears drip off chin

"911 what's your emergency?"
........
"Hello?"

I'm so worn out

I wonder how long you stay awake at night wishing you could take everything back you've ever done to hurt me. I wonder how long you stayed awake thinking about how you shattered every last bit of trust I had in you to take care of my heart...I wonder if you're really going to change this time like you say you are....or if it's going to be exactly the same as all the other times you said you'd change.....