It's a pity
That my lovely hopeless heart
is eternally
Dammed
To a sinful and wondering
Body

I want to love you again
But tonight my lust is stronger
So that will have to do for now

Remember all those times
You told me I was the one
Then it turned out
I wasn't the only one
But even now I guess
At least I'm not the lonely one

He's sweeter than you
All he does is want to spoil me
And I'm drowning
All I've ever wanted
And I'm suffocating

I want to live in these moments of misery with you forever
Because they're the only things we have left

Every inch of my skin
Becomes explored by your fingers
Completely and utterly naked
But you build me up
I'm **** but not vulnerable
I'm **** but not disrespectable
You treat me like the fair maiden
I never knew I could be

Poems can't mend every hearbreak
But I'll de dammed if I don't try

Please write
If not to me
Then for me

His hands aren't as rough
And his fingers aren't as long
Your lips are softer
And you always tasted sweeter

He'll never hold me as tight
His arms aren't as strong
He's warmer than you in the night
But doesn't call for me like you did

He's never going to be you
And that's hard
I'm never going to get you back
And that's the hardest pill to swallow

I let me fingers trace every crack
Within those bricks
Through these man made walls
Just to get closer to you
Because I wanted to be closer to you

Please come back to me
Even if it's in another life

I guess all I have been trying to say is:
This all hurt,
More than anything I have ever had to feel
But I hope she can love you
In all of the ways that I couldn't

Now that you're gone
I just want to be sober
-for the first time in a long time
You had me so ****** up
Time seemed to warp
-and now
I just want to experience life
For all it should have been

Before I return them
I will drench all of your ****
In my best perfume
You remember,
The one you love most from our
Mhm, first time
So every time now after
You go to reach for it
It's like you'll be reaching for me
And a reminder of all the injustices
and sins you commuted against me

That's what happens when you're unfaithful
Everyone finds out eventually
and rarely wants to hear the excuse
Because there just isn't one

I'm not the one who deserves another demon
But your crying eyes will haunt me eternally

He let me sing
Songs on end
For moments that felt as if they would never end
Through my belting
and maybe a few tears
He understood my suffering
And in his silence
I knew he had a plan to me

Cheers!
We can do this, baby girl.

I want to hurt you with this heartbreak
Like you hurt me with this false sense of love

I love myself
Because I learned to love my imperfections
Like you never could

I've smoked more cigarettes
Than calories I've consumed this week

I was going to quit
To be with you
But now I use this vice
To drown you out

When you left me
You took more than just my being
You stole my appetite

But when he's near
Each time he draws closer
He brings forth an animalistic hunger from deep within me

Honestly,
I hope she makes you happy
Because truly,
He makes me feel so alive

Maybe things
Are moving kind of fast
But maybe
That's because
The universe finally thinks we're ready

A boy once told me
You can't expect the one who hurt you
to be the same one who fixes you
And ****
Did I not want that to be the truth

Your curse will be
Knowing that every time
You close your eyes you will see my crying face
And you will know
It was all your fault

I never thought you'd break my heart
I always figured I would
Be the one to hurt you
Considering my past and history

Maybe that's why I made excuses
Mainly for you
And tried to ignore it all
Because I was supposed to be the villain

Why can't my heart let you go?

Is it truly possible
That I could move on so quick?

Genuinely healing
Instead of hiding
Feels so **** good
Why didn't anyone tell me this before

In the souls
Of these random people
Without taking from them
I'm still able to gather thier pieces
And patch my soul back together

With all this in me
will I ever be sober again?

I didn't need you
To tell me
To have fun tonight
But even so
I did

Can someone
Who drinks this much
Still be considered a person?

How,
after all this time
and the scattered promises
mainly to myself,
am I still becoming my father?

The liquor kicks in
so much faster
when it rises though my veins
with the morning sun

Are you going to be
the next face to haunt me in my nightmare?

What made her
so much better than me
that even in the end
the bitter moments before the storm
that you still chose her?

I can't mend this broken heart.
So then,
who is going to?

Why is it,
that you have to make me
ask that question in the first place?

Why does the bottle
taste sweeter in the morning?

Maybe he's not you
And maybe I'll always miss you
But he will truly show me
What exactly I have missed out on
And he will take care of me
After you finish breaking my heart
I know he will pick up the pieces
And fill the missing gaps
With pieces of his own

But tonight
He will soothe my aching heart

I'm not an alcoholic
I just find comfort
In all the wrong bottles

Just like I learn to love those
Who feign comfort for falseness
In all the same places

From every nights hearbreak
To the next mornings hangover
I can't seem to stop loving you
And **** it hurts

You said you fell out
Even as I was still falling in
But now staring down into the chasm
As you stand next to me still
I feel the void
Calling to you
Pulling you further from me

You can break a heart
But you can't taint my soul

Trying to survive you
Will be what kills me

I miss you like the sun misses the moon:
Each day
And every night.