She wants me to fail, and I know it.
I'm too intoxicated by her presence to care.

I fell in love with our delusions
Promise of love, a home, a life
With no fear of the obstacles or outside intrusion
But that blew up and now I'm stuck
Convincing myself it was all an illusion

I can't remember your name but I remember how wrong it felt to let you inside me

She spent so many nights wiping off smeared make up she won't even put it on anymore

Somewhere between yes and no
Where the sky is purple
And the water so still
The grass grows tall
And it sways in the wind
I could stay here forever
My dress flowing in the breeze
Your gaze holding mine
But I can't build a life on maybe
And neither can you
But who's going to
Look away first

I tried to disappear a few times,
You always found me.
I don't know if that makes me
Love or hate you.

When you wouldn't hear my words
I tried to show you with my actions,
You just stopped looking at me.

One man today, another man tomorrow
To have been mixed up with you
Gave me everlasting sorrow
For the time that I spent and the tears that I wept
Always making sure your heart and house were well kept
The mean you that I hated, the goofy you that I loved
I'm not sure how the two coincide or if you were ever in love
Compassion for you I still carry but the anger never goes away, I wonder if I'll ever heal from you, this pain likes to stay.

Do your people watch me?
Do they know where I am?
This imbalance of knowledge seems slightly unfair,
I have to wonder, and ponder, and yearn,
Yet you sit back peacefully with your ways to learn,
The curiosity is torturing me, making me sick
What are you doing?
Who is it with?
Heartache morphs to obsession sickenly quick
But if I miss a step, or I scare the crows, the universe makes sure you're the first one that knows.

Whenever I flip my lucky cigarette
I always wish for you.

Yesterday's here again
Tomorrow never comes
I lay around and daydream about old love
Yesterday seduces me
Day after day
Soon I'll see the future
But probably not til the grave
Yesterday loves me
And has a grasp on me so tight
I'd give Tomorrow a chance
But it doesn't feel right
Yesterday is unfinished
A story untold
An ending I'll rewrite
Until I'm grey and old
But tomorrow could love me
It's trying it's best
It's waiting so patiently
For me to put Yesterday to rest.

I was made of fabric
Hair like silk framing my face
Naive eyes looking every which way
And through rough palms
I was strung along
And changed into tattered lace

I was made of leather
Firm but flexible
Looking for pleasure
I thought I knew better,
Had found the right way
I had to learn it hurts just as bad
To bend but not break

I am made of steel
Solid and sturdy, I don't have to feel
I can keep myself safe
It's okay to be alone at the end of the day
I built myself up, I filled my own cracks
It haunts my heart to think of my reckless past

If it's not you, it's definitely me
I'll take the blame, I'll be the bee
You brought a flame, I stung your knee

You started to glow, I watched where you went
I got scared, my anger spent
Now you're injured, and I can't vent

Passive aggressive, can't be too firm,
This anger inside me I've carried since birth.
I say what I mean but then laugh at the end
You don't think I'm serious, and my mind starts to bend.
Can't be too forward,
Sarcasm my favorite weapon, maybe if I said it straight I wouldn't always end up mad again.

Aggressively passive, I've given up hope, no point in giving a **** when you're taken as a joke.
Why argue my point when you're blind to my mind?
I get better and better at keeping the anger inside.
Go with the flow is too gentle a phrase, for the ***** I don't give the more that I age.
People will come and those people will go, no longer will I cry and let my soul feel hope.

I never fully understood why you felt the need to beat me into submission when I'd already surrendered myself to you after you said you loved me.

I broke my own heart dreaming I could deserve someone as perfect as you are.

You can't figure me out?
The picture on the box is clear
Piece me together, take your time
Frustrations rise
Pieces are bent
Impatience is high
And my pieces are lost

Everything is blue,
There's no air left in my lungs,
The weight has crept out of my soul,
It's seeped into my bones,
Now I'm sinking faster,
There's nothing near to grasp,
I don't have it in me to make a life saving decision fast

What if the bad thing didn't happen?
If we erased that day,
Forgot the feelings too
Would I be this sad right now?

What if the good thing didn't happen?
If we erased that night,
Forgot those feelings too
Would I be this sad right now?

Forty three patients, forty three lives, all counting on me under a license thats mine,
There's medicine to pass and treatments to be done, I'm trying to be fast but I am only one,
Her blood pressures low but his blood pressure is high, bed 36 is in so much pain now that they've begun to cry,
I don't mean to be so in and out, I want to take my time and ease your doubts,
a listening ear,
a reassuring touch,
But its hard to manage when corporate doesn't care about patient care so much,
To me you are person, to them you are dollar signs, I want to hear about the life you've lived but if I don't chart we'll be fined,
I'm trying so hard to get everything done, I want to be there for you,
But if I fall behind on this paperwork, they'll just replace me with someone new.
So I'll brush your hair and bring your favorite snack, after I pass all these pills I'll try to come back,
I want to take the time to listen to you
While I can't chat for 45 minutes, even when I'd really like to, I remember which pudding you prefer your medicine in, and your sons and daughters names too
I know what time you'll likely be in bed, and the time you'd like to get dressed, I know it's not enough, and I know you get depressed,
But I hope you can feel I care for you

You asked me to jump in the river,
Last I was here I nearly drowned,
You assure me it's safe, like a dip in the lake
But I just stand here and stare at the ground
You're tugging and pulling and teasing and mocking, it's all such good fun for you
But Im stuck in a daze, reliving the ways the current swirled and looped
You're starting to get impatient, we're hand in hand,
My feet stuck firm in the sand
You're disappointed I couldn't follow through

Only worth what I can give, never allowed to be seen,
I tend their wounds and clean their rooms, but no one's concerned about me.
Money to borrow, chores to be done, tears to be wiped, words to be sung.
And I like to do it, but I'm all worn out
I can't keep on giving when I'm left out.
But I'm talked over, my words not worth your ears,
And my hands are unseen, unless alleviating others fears.
I've asked for help, and patience, and time, but I'm told that's life and I should step back in line.

Familiar but distant
Different yet the same
I can't believe you still have that t-shirt,
What's made you come around again?

Unravel me like ribbons and bows,
Unravel my heart, my mind, and my soul.

You'll dance around every nerve in my brain, delicately driving me madly insane.

It's honey dripped words, it's deep chestnut eyes, a delicious combination I've slowly realized.

It's the way you made art, from the strands of my heart, I'm not made of steel, you reminded me what it is to feel.

Yet something so good, so yummy, divine,
Is easily tainted, like overnight wine.

And I want to be entangled whispering late into the night, but that's hard to do when everything's a fight

I was familiar with rough hands but I'll never forget how gentle she was when she touched me