pro life but not pro women
pro life but you care more about the unborn than the living
my body but I get no choice
limit my rights
take away my voice
you say you're pro life but what about us?
protect the child we carry but not us
love your women they say
but I'm not feeling very loved
we walk around wondering if we're being followed
terrified of men lurking around the corners
never knowing if they're going to hurt us
not all men, no
but I chose the bear over the chance
***** we're called when we have so many men
but what are they called when they have so many women?
nothing
they aren't not shamed
and we get all the blame
equal rights?
I do not see
I don't have rights to my body
pro life
but not pro living
not pro women
what about us?
open your eyes and think about what if it was a ****** assault?
does it matter to you then?
of course not
but if not then, when?
when will you care about this fear?
the fear we hold of men
the fear we hold of what they could do to us
not all men
no just the majority of them
it is our birth right to have uncomfortable experiences with men
it is our birth right to wonder if a man will hurt us
do you not see or do you not care?
yes pro life
but not pro women
they beat us and you ask what we did
like we deserved to be beat because of something we've done
so many men telling us what we can and can't do
I'm sick of it
what about you?
I'm tired of them being pro life but not pro women
how would they have children if not for us?
we are the ones creating life
and yet we don't get rights
they have the power
they have the control
the men we put in office speak of us and if we are objects
we have a voice
they just don't listen
yes I know not all men
just the ones we elect to let speak on our behalf
and they say pro life
they make us seem like villains for getting an abortion
but after SA don't we deserve that?
don't we deserve to not go through the pain of carrying our attackers kid?
to raise the kid and look in their eyes just to be reminded
what about when we can't afford to give that kid a good life?
no you don't care about them then
you want this child to be born in the world but you don't care what happens to them once they're in it
you want them to grow up and pay the government money
pro life?
no
they do not care about life
they don't care about us
they care about money
they care about power
pro life they say
but they are not pro life
they are not pro women

ever feel like your world is on fire?
flames burn higher and higher
cover your nose
don't breathe in the smoke
feel the burn on your skin
try to escape
there's no way
you're trapped
all alone in a room with fire
the smoke and the flames
try so hard to survive
it's getting to your eyes
you start to cry
you sit down and accept the end
wait for it to burn you alive
accept that this was your life
you didn't do much
just stayed at home
and now it's all over
and you have nothing to show
your obituary will be short
your funeral will be small
you burned in a room
no was there to save you
you died alone just like you predicted
but you didn't want to be right
you didn't want to die tonight
you wish you put up a better fight
but all you did was give up on life
you accepted the flames
deep down it's what you wanted
all your life waiting to die
waiting for this very moment
and now that it's here how do you feel?
are you scared to die?
no you're okay, right?
you've accepted that death is a part of life
then what is it then that I sense within you
sadness?
could that be it?
are you sad that this is the end?
oh yes tragic, isn't it?
all your life wasted waiting for this moment
stop wasting your life
get up and fight
fight through the fire
fight through the flames
live til tomorrow to see your family again
love and live while you can
don't give up you still have time
your life is just as worthy as mine
we both feel that we don't deserve it
we both feel like we are burdens
but that is far from the truth
the world would change if we weren't here
there are people here waiting for us to survive
don't give up it's not your time
you still have time to live your life
I'll see you tomorrow
you'll be just fine
fight the fire deep inside
I know you can do it
you at least have to try
now is not the time to give up the fight
yeah I'll see you tomorrow
you're so strong
just keep holding on

so much happened in my life
sometimes I just sit here and cry
I think everything that has happened
I wish it didn't leave me so saddened
I remember how I used to be so alone
that house was never truly a home
all the lies and screaming
the pain and thoughts of fleeting
so many situations where I was left so helpless
I couldn't do anything but sit there and cry
I knew too much of what was going on
it took away my innocence
and the child within me went with it
after that happiness got up left
and sadness took a seat for a long while
so long I sat in a cage in my mind
constantly asking questions like why
why me?
why her?
why do we have so much hurt?
so much pain inside and nowhere to go
we must sit here and listen to all the screaming
to all the lies
this was the start of my sleepless nights
the nights where I stayed awake just to cry
to finally let out the quiet sobs I had been holding in all day
I wish someone would have hugged me tight
I wish someone would have paid attention all those times
maybe if they did they would notice the signs
the signs of my depression
my suicidal thoughts
the start of the self harming they could have put to a stop
my life has put me in an endless battle with depression
it's a war inside my mind
oh but I have been granted so many great people in my life
because of them I can feel free
I can finally be happy
I can finally let out the breath I'd been holding in so long
in front of them I feel comfortable singing my songs
In their eyes I see no judgement
only a soft console I've been craving since I was a child
yes my life has brought so much pain
but through it I have gained
I've gained an understanding of this world
I've gained a family that was once not mine
I've gained this amazing life
so much had happened but it led me to here
this place I was meant to be
I hate my life but I also love it
in the end I have to admit
it's a nice little life of mine

I'm not seeing any light
I don't feel like this fight
This dark cave is filling with water
I'm drowning as it approaches my mouth
It fills my lungs
I'm helpless now
I panic
I'm making it worse
I'm choking
This is my end
My eyes are heavy
I want to close them
This is my life
This is my last breath
I'm at my end
So this is why you didn't send me anyone?
You knew I ****** at love
You knew I would do this
God are you there?
Is there a god?
Is he waiting for me?
Or is this the devil?
Is he waiting for me?
I don't know
But you're waiting for me
I want to come to you
But I'm drowning in this dark cave
I see you in my mind
My memories
I wish you were here now
But you're not
And I'm drowning
I'm letting my body sink to the bottom
I smile thinking about you
I let my last breath go
I held on so long
For you
I did everything for you
And I still failed
I'm lying here breathless in this dark cave

The wind is blowing
The storm is coming
The clouds are brewing
The sky is getting dark
Though it is not thundering I can already hear the loud boom
I know this storm is coming
It will rain
It will pour
Lightning will strike
The thunder will roar
And I'll have no where to run
The ground will flood and I will drown
I know this storm all too well
I'm scared
I'm terrified
I know this storm

When I tried to swim I sank
When I stayed out of the water I couldn't walk
When I fell to my knees I couldn't crawl
I lay on the floor and it finds me
I hear the world still moving around me
I can't move
I lay still unmoving for when I get up I fall
When I swim I sink
but even when I do nothing it still finds me

Why do I do it?
Why do I stay?
Why do I always push my loved ones away?
Why does my mind always play games?
Why does my mind work this way?
Crying during the night because I was mean in the day
I will never be normal
I'll never be sane
I'll never stop pushing them away
I'll never stop these tears that highlight my pain
All this pain that I gained
All this pain that I earned
All this pain I deserve
I **** at being nice
I **** at being with people all the time
Sometimes I just want to be alone
And yet that's always wrong
Everything I do feels wrong
I can't be good to myself or others
And it makes me think
Why the hell do I stay?
Why do I get up every morning?
Why do I cry every night?
Why can't my life ever just be a constant shining light?
I'm no good to people they're better when I'm not around
But I can't bring myself to do it
I don't want to wake up in the mornings or cry at the nights
But I don't want to miss the days where I smile and everything is fine
I don't want to miss the days where I'm truly happy
And yet sometimes they're so far away that I don't know why I stay
In a life so dark and gloomy with occasional sun, why do I stay?
When no one is helping me push away the pain
I want it to end
I want my mind to stop
I don't understand why I'm not enough
I don't understand why I'm so broken
I don't understand why my mind is out to get me
I don't understand why I stay?
Why do I do this to myself everyday?
Maybe some part of me enjoys the pain
Maybe I ask for it
I'm a terrible person
Or maybe I'm not
It's not clear
My mind is telling me one thing and my heart tells me another
I'm confused
I hate this weather
Why do I stick out all the days in the rain just to have one perfect day?
That's just my life I guess
In one big lump sum
The pathetic loser just trying to be someone
Maybe I stick around because even when at my lowest there's still a glimmer of hope
Something telling me to keep going
That one day it won't hurt some much
That one day I'll be okay
That the future I pray upon will come true one day
Until then I guess I just hold on tightly to this life I have
Try to be better to the people who stay
Try to push the darkness away
Try my hardest to just be great
Maybe that's why I stay