Used to know you
I don't now
Not sure that I want too
Negative to the max
If its Depression
Talk to a professional
I take my leave temporarily
Don't want to walk in tbe path you folllow now
Your used to bes got up and left
Doom and gloom
No Thanks

i’m fine 6.21.25 (1:59 pm / 13:59)
mhm. yes.
i
i- i was okay
i’m okay yes
yes i’m fine i’ve always been fine

it's just that im standing in the middle of a maze right now
and everyone else seems to have their ball of yarn or whatever
and im just standing there alone no one will help me

yes im fine it’s just that i feel like im going to die
right now
i am going to die
maybe that would be okay maybe everyone would be better off
with me dead

dont be sorry for me, maybe it’s good no one will help me
find my way
i ******* deserve this

i met you almost
two years ago
i hurt you
while scrambling
through my own pain
trying to find my way
through a dark maze
with a haze of ache

you got caught
in my rage of
a crossfire
i realized
i actually liked someone
trusted them so easily

i was angry
someone actually
made me laugh
made me smile

the hurricane
was a category five
you took shelter
far away from me
my tears dripping
from the sky

two years after
the hurricane
we are just recovering
there is life again
there is growth
there is laughter
there is happiness
there is light


there is a second chance

Phantom drops of blood
Rolling down my leg
I feel it getting closer
To my knees and ankle true
What ever will I do
When the phantom reaches ground
And spreads it all around
That I am not unwell
But too far now to tell
It's not the pain I long for
But that phantom drop of blood
To make my legs sore
You do not sneak a peak
Without feeling that drop
Rolling down your body
Never will it ever stop
For the scars do not disintegrate
Only the blood

My chest  a c h e s  and I snarl to hide the sound of my mind fracturing, shattering into a million shards of glass and those shards bury into my skin and itch and ache and I have to get it out, get it off. Nails drag at my skin like it's a shirt, like it's a costume I can discard but then red stains the material wrinkled beneath my clawing fingers, and I can't get it off it itches and aches and it's too tight, skin-tight and it hurts when I drag drag drag at it trying trying trying to remove it from my flesh. It peels away in messy shreds of pain, but the glass is still there, it's dug deeper and now it's at my bones I can feel it pricking my bones, splitting hair-line cracks along my skeleton and the pins and needles crawl up my limbs like a hungry beast, salivating at the thought of feasting. There's a storm where my bones riot against the glass against the pain pain pain piercing me with an unholy shriek unleashed like a wild horse who needs to run from the cyclone that nips at its heels but it's stuck, tied to a fence, can't run can't flee can't escape the gaping jaws of the hurricane as it descends and wreaks havoc on the world but I'm in a cage, looking out at the ones looking in and they all frown with their blank faces and ask me ask me ask me why do you cry? why do you fight? why do you react? Because they don't feel the storm they don't feel the wind lashing at my skin or the shards of glass burrowed in my flesh and they don't see the cracks in my bones or the mess of my mind underneath my skull underneath my shelter but then it breaks. It splits open and I spill out into the world like a newly born baby and the storm is wild, the storm is cruel and loud and rough against my raw mind and I'm screaming sobbing crying for help help me please I am not strong enough to survive this world of noise and chaos I am not smart enough to build a shelter to weather the storm I am not tough enough to keep out the debris slamming into my soft skin I am not I am not I am not enough for the expectations you place upon my fragile shoulders I will break and shatter and collapse under the weight you tell me I can bear because I am small and I am weak and I am asking for your help to block out the world while I pick myself up off the wet ground and gather my wits and rebuild my fortress to ward off the storm. I'm sorry I snarled. I'm sorry I screamed. I just don't know how to plead how to lay myself bare before you let myself be vulnerable because this world is vicious and I've learnt to depend on my walls to keep me upright and merely speaking doesn't get past the stones so I scream in the hopes you'll hear me.

Everyone is searching
for the missing piece in life.
The key to unlock the door
and steal back all lost time.
Searching, looking, restless,
scanning every crack and crevice,
lying awake at night,
dreamless, empty presence.
Your broken heart
from years and years
lets laughter fall onto
your deaf ears.
No happiness is enough.
No joy can be felt.
Everyone is searching
for something to heal themselves,
yet no medicine is strong enough,
no key can ever be turned
to give us what we want the most,
to give us what we yearn.
The thing we want is an illusion.
Our perceptions are distorted.
The Snow Queen's looking glass
when it dropped and shattered.
All is worth what we rate it,
all ranked by how we place it.
Chasing what cannot be found
instead of choosing to be content.
Wanting what we do not have,
a dream that cannot be,
a masterpiece of mirages,
all too soon we believe.
When will we begin
to accept what is here?
The present day in which we live,
not the past or future.
When will we stop searching
and decide we don't need more?
Only then we will find
what we've been looking for.
The good you have is here,
yet you keep looking on,
never realizing what you had
until it is gone.