when confidence & hope slowly turns into doubts and fears—

You're not alone.

You are free to run away. Express your worries, your problems. Never be silent.

when emotions rise like waves—
Remember to keep the calm before the storm;
let it all in and breathe, then out you go

Roman numeral III, bae, drop it like it's hot
Life is meaningless without you right by my side,
You are that little kick of darkness in my bright and sunny life.
If this world was mine, I'd choose to be with you
Hold your hand, pull you out from the crowded room
Make you smile and laugh or giggle a little every time you are feeling blue
You are my baby panda, my clingy and needy lover
What would I do without you? What would my life be without you?

The only factual information I know is,
God will never let someone else take your place;
He will never ever let someone else come in between us, to separate us.

Because I chose this life, to be your permanent love in this life.

What we really want is not necessarily what we need— Sometimes, we easily get distracted by the things we want just to heal our inner child. Since it feeds and heals our soul,

Don’t get me wrong, we attain physical satisfaction, But is it really what our spirituality seeks to desire? Did we live a good life outside of comfort? Or did we fight a good life in the midst of survival?

We chose to choose life—by all means, to live comfortably, not fashionably.

We chose to live a good life because this is the kind of battle we chose to face. Henceforth, this was the kind of war we must fight, obstacles we must hurdle— Inner peace and personal satisfaction—not of material things,

But of good deeds, forgiveness, and abstinence.

Sin is temporary in life; we forgive, confess, and forget, Starting a new life as a forgiven person.

For it does not guarantee lifetime happiness, But rather, a temporary one.

Who am I to not forgive you, right? I could—but that doesn’t mean I can still accept you. The damage has already been done. You made your choice, and so did I.  

Don’t expect things to go back to the way they were after everything that happened. Don’t forget—it was you who started this. You chose to believe your son without even listening to us. We had proof.

I had proof. But he had nothing—no evidence to prove that I did what he accused me of.  

My trust is gone. You had your doubts, and I had mine. I can forgive you, but don’t come back.

The devil tried to harm me, but he couldn’t reach me. So instead, he went with Plan B—brainwashing my cousin’s empty, lifeless mind to ruin my reputation and fracture our relationship.  

Go on. Dare me. Challenge me. Are you sure about your decisions? Did you really think I would break the moment my bond with my cousins was shattered? Think again.  

I can live without them. In fact, that’s perfectly fine because at least I’m still whole. What matters most is myself, so why should I even worry, right?

You should be worrying about yourself, instead because,

Everyone already knows the kind of person you are, and they’re all on our side now. What you’re doing right now doesn’t define us—it defines you. Your actions speak for themselves, and they paint a clear picture of who you truly are.

You think, you can fool me
Wrap me around your little finger
May you bless me well, for you to be holy
But nah, you may know me well from the outside

But you don't because every time you look in the mirror,
You mirror convexity face to face with your kind

I never doubted for a second
I never think twice, no second choices for a split second
Just a split personality, bipolar disorder
Because I know when to be crazy and be serious at the same time

I might choke you, pin you down
Stab you, rope you
Maybe when I punch you, you might fly
Thin-skinned boy with no permanent dreams
Living for a temporary, one day millionaire life.

Pretense of the rich-poor cycle
Blending in with the rich like a chameleon
Socializing with the poor since it is your kind
Don't confuse me with your ideal Marxism

You can't fool me. Not anymore.

you thought I never really forgotten it, I forgave you but I never really got the chance to forget it.

it never really left. It was just there. I  might remember it but the feelings and emotions were gone.

I like your confidence, it's overflowing, oozing
Stop rolling your eyes, or else I'll gouge them out
But I smell trouble, I sense threatened
Since they told me that I am a walking gasoline, a talking ticking time bomb
One lit of a match, I may start a fire
I'm like a gun loaded with bullets, a tank ready for go to blow

I plead for arson, a torch to hold dear
yet you are desperate for attention
Blink twice now, yes, are you either naughty or nice?
Either way, it doesn't matter
Because even your shadows betray you, turning its back on you.

The peace of not knowing everything is far better than the burden of knowing it all at once.

Or perhaps, this boredom I feel now is the peace I once longed for. Either way, I am grateful—I have learned how to be alone without being lonely.

But did you know? The best thing they ever did for me—those bred with perfection and sincerity—was to despise me in silence. Hated by many, yet confronted by none.

Perhaps it was the peace of mind I deserved—to not know at all. Or maybe, it was merely the weight of unanswered questions and the burden of overthinking.

A peace of mind, I plead. Mind me, will you?

There is nothing I can do about it now
Go on, give it your best shot
Hit me with your worst case scenarios
You thought so, I might cry, nope.

Why are you so assuming? So your arrogance can actually get you somewhere after all.
Instead of using your brain, why did you use your intimate area?
Maybe that itch is too hard to scratch after all

Oops, how about your future daughter-in-law
She was untouchable, I never even laid a finger on her
I never even talk to her if it is nothing important
I only converse to her when I am bored
Too sad, she is never important on my daily life

They all **** up my energy
They keep draining me

Paramore says in their song "Ain't It Fun":  

"Don't go crying to your mama, 'cause you're on your own in the real world."

After all, the world doesn’t revolve around you. Alone. Yes, alone.  

But why is it that when something bad happens, your mom suddenly gets angry AT US and we do not know what happened, then she attacks my mom; Yes, my mom, technically, is the sister of your mom—because you and your stories seem to get more and more exaggerated?

DO NOT EVER USE YOUR MOM ON YOUR ******* PERSONALITY, JUST TO LET HER DEFEND YOU OF YOUR ACCUSATIONS TO BREAK ME.

think again, foolish weakling! Before you broke me into pieces, there is nothing for you to break anymore. I have been broken long before you wished to.

You though breaking me makes me weak? (Baka ikaw, lampa na nga sira pa ang mata, tch.) Nah. It made me stronger, FYI.

No offense, accuse me because I go for blow. I insult you in return.
  
I'LL CLAP BACK FOR A RESOUNDING APPLAUSE YOU DESERVE, "ILABAS ANG GAWAD URIAN" FOR THE FILM YOU MADE FOR ME.

Cut it, rip it apart—
That is how I want to end you.
You and your "Dora" bangs are quite unpredictable to begin with.
Insult me, and I bite back;
I won't think twice before breaking your wings.

Go easy on me now, or else
You'll never blink twice when your fate ends here.

******, you say—
You're acting like it's happening just now.
Is your radar not working? Maybe you've lost all power to control me.

Look at yourself in the mirror—you see
I am no longer like you, dog.

Careful now, silver tongue. Hold that thought.
Our tongues have no bones—
But they break souls apart,
Like a thousand knives waiting to stab you.

Do you want that to happen to you?
I hope not, because I never even wished for it to happen anyway.

Let karma do its job, and I might clap back after.

I consider you the Helen of our family—
That face of yours launched a thousand ships,
Waiting to devour you.

God removes the bad people in your life because they heard things about you that you never will, and He’s protecting you from their hidden intentions.

ilysm, imysm;
I know you know that, I hope you won't forget that
yatoofm, moaol
(you are the only one for me, my one and only love)
you are my 13, my everything
my peace amidst all chaos, my best friend, partner, lover embodied in one
Icwtmy, Iwhyln
(I can't wait to marry you, I wanna have your last name)
No matter how long it takes

Why does everyone avert their gaze the moment our eyes meet? Do they sense something lurking within me—an inner demon, perhaps? Or is it that, in facing me, they realize I am neither saint nor devil, but something else entirely?  

I am a soul reborn, a human renewed. I turned away from deception, abandoned falsehoods, and embraced the truth. And maybe—just maybe—that priest saw it too.  

Did he sense a demon in our midst? Or was he standing before something far greater? He never flinched, never dodged our silent battle of wills. Perhaps, in my presence, he saw not darkness, but light so blinding it threatened to consume him—so brilliant it exposed the shadows within his own soul, leaving him unable to tolerate me at all.

Perhaps he forgot—forgot that I am, indeed, a being of duality. Light and dark, saint and sinner, fire and ice. But the difference between us?  

I chose the good side. 
Or maybe because when light enters a dark place, it forces a reaction. That explains it. When you look my way, I never hesitated for a second to look at you, straight into your eyes, looking for a loophole into your salvation or groundbreaking, then I smirk and you look away.
 
Why flinch? Why avoid my stares? Satan is among us, but it is not me you're looking at, maybe because he was what you were looking for, you heretic buffoon!

And maybe that’s what unsettled him. Not the presence of a demon, nor the radiance of divinity, but the sheer reality that I stand at the crossroads of both—aware, awake, and unwilling to be swallowed by the darkness he hides within himself.

You were so quick to judge last night,  
singling me out from the crowd,  
asking about my boyfriend’s faith—  
as if his beliefs could seal my fate.  

I said, "No, he’s not Catholic."  
And without a second thought,  
you declared my life in danger.  

So swift was your verdict,  
yet you never even asked what he believes.  
Tell me—are you certain I’m the one at risk?  
Or have you simply met your match?

What pushed you to do it?—trading our imperfectly perfect family to your comfortable life there
Alright, It will be alright
I just wanted to redeem my peace of mind back
But you keep pulling my last strings

I didn't mean to curse you or have my hopes high
I still prayed for you—to see the brighter side
Since it is always greener on the other side
We don't need to be bitter with anything that's been going on here

I never stole anything—just like how you accused me
Maybe your mind was too shallow—too in deep to not understand that there is a huge difference with the unbiased, baseless information and a research-based with proofed information

I thought you were a liberal arts graduate, but your mind was never too liberal
You messed with the wrong gal, pal
But I might just let it slide for now
Because I just want to be a good girl for now—but not for long, mate
Even my kindness has an expiration
So, for now, I would just tolerate your ****

But bad move, you reacted in such a bitter way immaturely
When you made a stupid decision in your life, we helped you
I know, we know, help is never a two-way beneficial process
But when we made a stupid decision, you reacted in a rash and harsh way

Guess who is a rabid dog now
I chose my battles wisely—I react when I want to, but this, is never a wise decision to agree with in the first place

When you and your narcissistic husband fought like cats and dogs—he threw away your things out in the streets
You dialed my mother's number and called her, asking for help
My mom helped you process tour documents, just so you could be with your American boyfriend when your annulment was approved

Now, you look at us like we were so capable of ruining your life, of wrecking havoc to your belongings
We would not do such a thing to you—but you hurt my mother's feelings, you know
I hope you would find it in your heart, one day
My mother is imperfect, but what you said harsh towards her, might leave a scar for us not to trust you once again

I am praying earnestly that, one day will come
when you will be deported or if your American husband will die
or if you want to come home here in the Philippines

While your son was no longer there for you, since he only used and manipulated you
We were there before, but we can no longer promise to be by your side once again

Like I said, you cannot find trust in the same person twice.

I said it before, but now, I'll only say it once  
So you better listen carefully to me  

Stop, whatever the hell you are doing right now  
Aren't you feeling a bit of shame or plaint towards us?  
Are you really that indecisive to cause too much drama?  
I get it, you love the thrill, the drama, the attention- name it  
You love it when other people invest their time in your nonsense  

At this point, I don’t even know what to call you—disreputable, notorious, shameless, or just a meek scandalous mess, desperately clinging to drama like it’s the only thing giving you purpose.  

But here’s the thing—your act? It’s tired, predictable, and frankly, not worth anyone’s time anymore.  

So, if you’re waiting for us to keep playing along—don’t. We’re done.  

And one more thing—  

You can twist the story, paint yourself as the victim, and spin lies until you’re breathless. But the truth? It always finds a way out. And when it does, don’t expect anyone to stick around and clean up the mess you’ve made.  

We’ve given you more patience than you deserve—consider this our final courtesy.  

So go ahead, stir the *** if it makes you feel important. But don’t mistake our silence for weakness. We’re not biting anymore.  

And when the dust settles?  

Don’t come crawling back, acting like you’re innocent—like you didn’t burn every bridge on your way down. We see you for what you are now—a chaos addict, feeding off the drama because, without it, what else do you have?  

But here’s the truth you can’t outrun: Eventually, even the loudest noise fades. And when your little spectacle loses its audience, you’ll be left with nothing but the wreckage you caused.  

So keep playing your games if it makes you feel alive. Just know—this is where we walk away.

And when that silence finally hits you—when there’s no one left to react, no one left to care—you’ll realize something.  

All the lies, the manipulation, the chaos you stirred? It wasn’t power. It wasn’t control. It was desperation—a pathetic attempt to matter in a world that’s already moved on without you.  

Because here’s the part you never understood—real strength doesn’t need an audience. And while you were busy performing, we outgrew the show.  

So enjoy the spotlight while it lasts. But when it fades—and it will—don’t expect to find us waiting in the wings.  

We’ve already left the theater.

The curtains are closed. The lights are out. And guess what? The popcorn’s gone too—because no one’s sticking around for an encore.

Your little spectacle? It’s over. No standing ovation. No applause. Just an empty stage and the echo of everything you ruined trying to play the lead.

So, take your final bow—if that’s what you need. But don’t mistake this for a break between acts.

The show's done. And we’ve left the building.

unlimited talks, adding or subtracting words

ooh, do you know what you are
what I saw in you
You felt like the cockroach of the sea—oh no!
You are the cockroach of the land—black, white or brown
I might be ready to squish or stomp you up, but still, whatever I do, it still keeps you alive, awake, kicking and enthusiastic

But truly sweetie, what defines you? A disgrace to the community—and that mouth of yours is a disgrace to my family as well

Let's save these dramas for ourselves now, shall we?
The worst is yet to come
I'm not done yet, the show is not yet over
I'm just warming up, I might go over next for the exciting part

You made me hate you—despite that, I pity you!
For all the cries and the untold stories
I pity you, not for your experience—but for how pathetic you are to gain or earn my trust
I helped you, listened to your pleas
But this is all you gave me in return

Your presence, existence—is nothing but a social scourge
An epidemic, an illness, a pest, an addiction, that even any medicine to cure cannot prevent it
There is no such thing as a remedy for an incurable disease like yours—An addiction you bring is never tolerated

That even your efforts and intentions are even questionable
Maybe you were a broken record—repeating lies and spitting spew into me
Well, I breathe in and out the fire of the level of your innocence

Well *****, don't look down, I am not there
Look up, heads up now, front and center
Look into my eyes, let me see your sincerity

Maybe you forgot, even if you keep denying it
The truth is always there, ready to be found when I am effortlessly not looking for it

Let's establish some rules, yes
For this staring game, I am all in
Lay all the cards on me, deck it now and let me tell you your future
Time will tell, yes, along with it, comes your fate
A shadowy figure, holds its scythe and wears a black hoodie while its hood is covering its face is now pointing you
It says to be a grim reaper, your time is up, old lady
Pity or not, you will experience an awful hell of a death

But, I don't want to scare you or burst your bubble
God sees the truth, but waits because He knows when to attack

I keep silent, revenge is for Him to do and not mine
I might forgive you, for my peace of mind
I might forget you, I hope so
But never what you did to me

It caused me hurt and pain, wounded scars of my unforgettable battles never won
It caused me trauma—got mistaken for something I never did

Labelled me as a thief, what else can you give me? Is that all?
Give me your best shot—bang me with the problems and issues you cannot handle well
Well, I handled worse

Reveal to me the ***** linens of my past—I am no longer afraid
God knows me well, dear—but you don't
God knows me and my whole life well—you just saw my life in highlights,  reels and teasers but never my whole story
I got used to it by now, I dealt with things on my own
Faced my demons and ***** on my own
Is there anything I cannot handle well? Even If I look at myself in the mirror, I saw my brave reflection who is now courageous enough to face the imperfect world

Oh pity! How about you? Your experience is much more pitiful than mine
So, you keep exposing my ***** linens, well, don't worry about it, let me expose yours too
Too sad, you married a narcissistic man, you are such a weakling when both of you ran into an argument
But oh boy, you loved the thrill when we have a feud, right?
You had an introvert ******-up son with his ****** girlfriend with mommy issues
A social climber, a leech to **** off your wealth
Oops, you are not even wealthy, right? Your American husband is only the one  supporting your ******* in life, right?
Don't make me push the buttons too much to expose your *****
So that you can still redeem your head, when you walk to town.
Your opinions of me invalid, only God's criticisms is valid

I chose to walk away, white flag is waving now
But honey, I learned—to choose my battles and you are not one of it
Never worth it.