She saw him on the streets and suddenly understood
that blood is blue rather than red while in the veins.

(NJ2014) (All Rights Reserved)

Some days I wonder if to you it's a blessing that you're not allowed to talk to me but you don't know how to stop so you don't end it when you come back. I wonder if you realize how little I cared for you the first two months we talked and how I never realized what the word love meant when I said it until the first time you left. I don't think I even knew how much you meant to me until now and now is exactly when I can't tell you. Sometimes I wonder if you want to come back but then I realize if you didn't you'd have told me because we were always honest with each other. Sometimes I wonder but then I comfort myself and smile becauseI know you love me.

i can’t cry anymore
it’s like there’s no more fluid in my body
i miss it though
feeling the tears streaming down my cheeks
and showing people how i really feel
but now they don’t have a clue
cause i can’t show them

*(s.m)

Had to polish my old boots today
Because I gifted my last dollars away
Ah the novelty of poverty,
Short lived I'm sure

There are barely memories left untainted
A childhood cut short
A trusting soul shredded with each stolen touch
Still now, after a lifetime of living,
Of forcibly refusing to be nothing,
Of overcoming everything
Remnants seep through the skin
From the depths of demon's lair
Distant cackles mock the resurgence of nightmares
Scouring pad scrubbies only removed skin
The stink of it remains
Filling every pore
Escaping in a sigh, infectious by design
Time heals nothing
It protects the broken pieces
Masking them behind affection & other surface emotions
The jagged edges of the memory of pain
Still violate innocence
Still ruin a smile before it is born
Used as brutal warnings,
They are jabbed straight through a heart trying desperately to heal
At the first sign of affection, the pain awakens
At the first sign of attachment, it skins the heart alive
Angered at defiance, it burns like molten metal
Scraping at the hardened crevasses of the mind
Searing pain in hidden dreams
Cauterizing the memories open
Reliving the blade time has dulled
Never allowed to love
Even if it's make-believe
Twisted sounds of tinkling music boxes
And the distant laughter of demons
CACKLE AND HISS
Cackle And Hiss
cackle and hiss
Muted into a familiar rhythm
Underlying the complacency of life
Only to scorch a soul into nightmares
When the heart dares to feel

He said he's used to living in the dark,
That he knows every demon from his past,
That he isn't afraid of dying--let alone being hurt.

And all I could think of was,
WHAT THE ****
How can something so beautiful be so broken,
How can someone so delicate be exposed to culpability.

Let me mend you, with my light.
It's not as bright, but I hope to bring you comfort.
Smother you with lambency,
And lay you down in a bed of reassurance.