alone in your mind
                                you try not to think
                    cause It sends shivers
          down your spine
every time
       you remember
                 how the world seemed to freeze
                             deep and dark like December
                                                           It's over now
                                                                        but the pain
                                                                               still remains
                                                                          like a tattoo in your brain
                                            so you push it down you push through
                and remember the one that used to push you                             close your eyes and try to recall
                 all the things you used to do
                                                      together
                                                             forever, a promise they
                                                                                COULD NOT KEEP
                                        you slip into waters too deep to climb out
                                on your own
              searching for a home
longing for love
       praying you wont always be alone
                               that at the end of it all
                                             you'll have someone to call
                                                          or something to break your fall
                                  

                                 Ring.. Ring.. Ringgg...
                               oh **** is that my phone ?

I’ve always said that I lack self-control
Can’t make a horse stop to drink
Can't get my thoughts complete
No matter how much I think

I try to think my morality is a compass, but I’m scared,
That this is only true if someone needs me
To navigate, I don't know where I’m going
So what good is a compass to me? I don't want

To go places, I just want to go
With people, and if I can be with people
I’ll think of myself a guide, a mentor, a helper.
But riding on the whims of others is no form

Of Discipline, the kind our parents gave us
Wasn't real because discipline isn't something
Given its something found inside yourself,
And I’m still searching because Im weak

To my own desires as I am to others
And I’m even weaker still to you
I didn't even need to be with people
When I could be with you, it scared me.

I’m a Grandfather clock floating off the seaside
And every hour on the hour thoughts of you bang
Through my head like piano notes, starting few
In the afternoon, Ring, Ring-Ringg, Ring-Ringg-Ringgg

You sound in my mind a dozen times every midnight
And while I flow above this Green Sea, I see a light-
House, Shining Pink-Orange at me, but theres a gray
Fog between us, not gray ash, but blue-gray, like Chartreux

I checked your spotify today, I'm sure you can tell,
One of the bangs told me to, and we both know
How well I say no, But i'm glad it did, because it
Let me know, that you feel the gray too, and maybe Pink-Orange as well?