I sometimes miss this girl
who enjoys sitting in cafès
with her emptied cup.
She who finds grace
in the presence of waiting
And believes in happy ending.

I sometimes miss this girl
who's so good at self consolation.
She who patronises self rule
more than any other,
Someone who's still whole.

Now cafès reminds me
not with coffee fragrant promises
But of bitter tanged memories
While sitting becomes restless waits
I have come to miss the girl
I was before you-

I still long of me a little.

the struggle made me cry.
your demons follow me around my room staring at me from darkened corners,
a shadow.
a shadow that patronises me,
the same shadow that is stuck beside me, is the same shadow that screamed my name in a hollow tone, a shadow that burdened me,
your the shadow.
you have become the person that shadows me.
you scare me, you torure me.
the memories of you consume my mind, haunt me in my nightmares and seem to scare me even in my sleep.
I can not even think your name or see your face without feeling your every touch and every word you said.
but atlas my heart has become cold and my mouth has become silent,
you
a shadow