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Greenie Mar 2016
i am:
fall off the bone, tenderized,
dry. Caked mud falling from the mass.
God forsake me. The way in which a love clouds my nostrils and my mind will mesh shut at each new instance of the molecules O and H forming the stuff of my body, makes me faint.
I am now. Heartbeats tick unwillingly. I am yes.
Kiss me and I'm yours, I'm -fall into his arms, princess, you who have the world at your beck and call- , casual, I am innoculation.
innoculation:  a historical method for the prevention of smallpox by deliberate introduction of its pustules into the skin
slight *****, but otherwise... positive pitch
re: without a hitch
the first innoculation approximately
five months prior also nary glitch.

Preemptive needling measure
regarding getting fully
immunized at CVS
(Zieglerville, Pennsylvania)13:08
military time May First
2020 bruised left arm update
status report regarding
preventive measure well worth

suspenseful interlude preliminary
delay imposed wait
while pharmacist at
aforementioned Consumer Value
Store (common everyday Joe)
bided time to cogitate
proactive decision to become

fully immunized against
Chickenpox, an infection
courtesy varicella zoster virus
later in life ditto bugaboo
can cause shingles reactivate
head by whim of ******
zoster the latter occurring late
adult life, neither rhyme,

nor reason weakened immune
system (possibly stress)
suddenly avails blimey candidate
to experience shingles tatted
telltale rash with radiating,
shooting, tingling pain

affecting one side of body decorate
ting once lovely fleshed
bones with red fluid filled blisters
said dry out pustules dry out
and crust over within seven to
ten days, which above
outbreak preceded by fever, chills,

and fever, whereby raised
pimply red Morse code a dash
of dots, (albeit raised) on skin,
and redness not to agitate
impossible mission (more
difficult then threading camel
thru eye of needle) tingling

under skin topping off slate
head symptoms with upset
stomach, no matter physician
(perhaps doctor tending one
after another family member
think Marcus Welby, M.D.,
Doctor Who, Doogie Howser...)

Nope, no cure for shingles,
but treatment can decrease rate
complications arise, postherpetic
neuralgia (condition affects
nerve fibers and skin, causing
burning painful state
lasting long after rash and
blisters of shingles disappear.

Unbeknownst why once
chicken pox runs rampantly askew
said subsequently taking
their furlough into nerve tissue
tinier, yet more mighty then
garden variety/generic bacteria

inexplicably "wake up" and
travel along nerve fibers moo
ving utterly uncowed wreaking
havoc as shingles re: ******
(dizz) zoster relentlessly
assaulting beastie boy/goo
goo doll as rapacious motley crew.

Please to report, I experience(d)
minimal adverse reactions such as,
redness, no swelling at the injection site,
yes muscle pain, tiredness, but
no headache, shivering, fever,
nor upset stomach plagued me
lovely skeletal musculature,
albeit generic healthy male.
Strong armed marshall law decrees
(at a buoy good gull... lance)
across airwaves blare
constant detrimental exhortation
buzzfeeding populace analogous
to pollination instinctively
wrought courtesy bumblebees

to help combat
mortal pandemic disease
explaining governmental freeze
industries shuttered just ask jeeves
who will corroborate
deadly symptoms characterized

by severe chills inducing knocked knees
stricken unfortunate victim
beseeches with plaintive pleas
as their feverish body temperature
surpasses bajillion degrees
innoculation looms closer on horizon

as fatigued learned scientists squeeze
every detail how coronavirus (COVID-19)
transmitted, disseminated, contracted...
moost definite deadly germs spread,
when one and/or individual doth sneeze,
meanwhile palliative care workers seize

every opportunity to appease
tortured souls (suffering
worse fate than death),
plus plumb depths how said microbes'
molecular and/or atomic biochemical keys
activate, integrate, propagate...

painstaking labor to scrutinize and tease
burning midnight oil exhaustive energies
altruistic individuals ofttimes sustaining
their weary lovely bones
with crackers and cheese

moost likely forgoing adequate sustenance
also robbing sleep slowly
transforming them into zombies
apropos trailing appellation
describing unnaturally surreal spooky
haunting spectre as people
perish in twos and threes

mystery if initial epicenter
pinpointed among Chinese,
or perpetrated (my hunch) perhaps by aliens
slightly resembling infinitesimal
peace loving groovy hippies
pervasive during nineteen sixties.
Last time I crashed and burned
The first time I knew it was earned
I was baptized in a revelation
Introspective initiation
Projecting upon what was once pure
Unconscious transmutation
To pure ingratiation
Innoculation sounds absurd
Alchemical agent

Because I was so wrong
Have been for so long

Left everything in tatters
At least everything that matters

I no longer wish to be right
I've fallen in with another tribe
I'm stronger and wiser and kinder than I ever thought I was
Having thwarted your attempt to raze my hard-won self-worth

This is me not accepting your apology
This is the benefit of the doubt, given freely
Admitting I'd likely have done the same if it were me
Pigeonholed as the villain, wrested back your agency

But it cost me
It crushed me
Pulverized me
I still bleed
Given exactly what I never knew I need

To keep me humble
Remind me of my stupidity
Prone to romance as I am
I somehow thought that some portion of this would be easy

Final ribbon of naive rhetoric dissipates
Doesn't take a prophet to know what comes next
The regret, the lament, the intent
To do it better given one more chance

Tell me if you even know
Would you wish your fate upon another
Take a second to reflect
Is your life more regrettable than your brother

Are the fruits of your *****
Worth grinding your hands to the bone
Knowing that your toil is unseen
Your sacrifice will never be known

Now we strike to the heart of it
I can't seem to give a straight answer
Hypothetically, figuratively
Passive-aggressively
The way that I swore I wouldn't be
Avoiding the subject so studiously

So here's the skinny
Let's get down to the nitty gritty
I couldn't stop loving you if I tried
And I try just that every night
Transmute this guilt into pride
Lamentation to exulation
insecurity to honesty
Eros into agape
One moment's objective view
I'm indistinguishable from you

One day I'll walk away
Without another word
I'm sure right now it seems absurd

My eyes will be miles away
For once nothing to say
Buckling 'neath the karma I have earned

— The End —