Solitary, lie-back moments; of being in the coziest of places surrounded by the most mundane yet magical. Melancholy has a way of tinging itself with those little nuances of memory, and those little nuances of memory tinge themselves with shades of bittersweet and sad recollection over time. Silent reckonings, simplistically suppressing thoughts - all huge contradictions to the slow, natural motion of letting the waves wash over you.

Is this emotional maturity? Is this a step forward? Life is always full of too many intricacies to tell for sure.

The familiar scents of tearstains and revulsion being punctuated by the occasional flicker of light ahead; pain and perseverance, hope and the promise of heaven.

We are so full of contradictions - concrete, grounded beings yet with so many abstractions and complexities in our heads. A constant grapple, a relentless cycle. Coming back to places of washed up memories has this effect on you; but you pull through, you plough through quicksands, you pick up the small rationalities that have gone astray, and you move forward like you’ve always been doing before. It’s the only thing we know how to do.

Walk on our own, on our own two feet.

And pray that whatever knocks us down, will never be enough to sink us.

When I close my eyes what I see are the mountain valleys
And trees covered with snow
All around me the only sign of civilization are the ski villages
And the air smells like fire in a chimney
With a hint of hot chocolate and waffles at every turn.
I feel myself secluded on the top of one of those mountains
In a cottage covered in snow
Breathing in the fresh mountain air
Cold but only enough that it’s the coziest feeling in the world to come inside to the warmth.
Nothing but inspiration flows in these winds up here
I am as weightless as the thin air this high
And as soft snow falls it consumes me
Until I start and end with the mountain and the sky.

But I blink, and suddenly warm tropical sun is hitting my bare shoulders
White sand resembling snow, but the resemblance stops there
Because these tropical waters are alight with colors other than white and brown and green.
The ocean waves match my hair
And my freckled skin is kissed by the sun in such a way that I swear I belong here forever.
There’s the taste of mojitos in my mouth
And the smell of a scuba mask covering my nose.
Under the water is another world,
One I have never felt so close to
With sharks and corals and fish that all seem to be in such perfect balance
There’s nothing else in the world that matters but the sea and the sun and the sky.

I’m disarmed for a second by the rush of loud noise I at first think are the crashing waves
But then the shrill of a car horn caries and I realize that my feet have shoes on them once again
And they’re touching asphalt.
I look up at the buildings all around me
And though the air isn’t as fresh here,
There’s something to be said about the pretzels in the air
And the car fumes
And the smell of the pavement after the rain.
There’s so much noise, but it beats in time with my heart
And the swell of it all alights my excitement.
There is no place I’d rather be, not in this moment.
My thoughts are as abundant and high-reaching as the buildings all around me
And there’s a world of possibilities that seem to have been awoken in me as I stepped into this city.

The roar of the cars comes to a halt
And all I can hear is the wind though the fields.
My mind, for the first time in a long time,
Has nothing left in it.
I lay here, surrounded by nothing but flat land
Dotted by small white houses
With broken down brown barns to their left,
And stare up at the rolling clouds in the sky.
I don’t know where I am or where I’ve come from
All I know is that one cloud looks like the head of a lion
And the one next to it like a fox chasing his tail.
The wind softly tugs at my hair,
But I’m not cold in the breeze,
And it seems to be a part of me as much as I am a part of this field as I lie here.

Day turns to night quickly, and I’m suddenly looking up at the splattering of the nebulas.
It’s incredible. I’ve never been so close, here on the mountaintop.
I swear that if I reach high enough, I’ll be able to grab one and put it in my pocket. I don’t know why I’m so afraid to try.
The soft waves break against the shore, and there’s something magnificent about the way the ocean reflects the sky
So two dazzling displays are visible,
Working together. One stands unmoving aside from the planes that shoot across it
But the other ripples and flows, ever-moving, never-stopping.
Then I look up and there’s a haze of lights
Some stars, some planes, some just windows from buildings,
But it’s the city that never sleeps
And the stars are brilliant whether artificial or natural,
I feel each one splattered across the insides of me.
I lay here in the field,
Awake but fast asleep
More stars than I’ll ever see in my life spread out before me
And I suddenly feel smaller than ever,
This mortality that I am faced with is hammered into me by the brightness and abundance of all the stars in the sky.
I wonder who I am again,
Wonder how I got myself here,
On this mountain,
On this beach,
In this city,
In this field,
But I cannot find the through-line,
Not in this maze of constellations
And so I stop questioning for just a moment
And instead close my eyes and let my heart decide which way it wants to be pulled tonight,
And the stars oblige.

I can walk
this world,
tall or short,
figure one or figure eight,
black or white
has long as my word is on everyone's lips,
has long has i top the gossip list.
              
Fame,
name
all the same.
Money,
folly
all making me naughty.
            
Pleasure,
leisure
all in my ATM treasure.
            
Screams,
dreams
all over the TV screens.
          
I vanish
and smear my ego with a gold polish.
Taking a break, i call it.
              
I could snap my fingers in an empty room
and in an instant it becomes a party room.
          
I walk
through the storm,
cloth the sun,
re-decorate the night sky.
I'm in the world
i'm breathing
and i'm famous.
        
What is the point in not bragging?
When my style isnt manual.
        
What is wrong with being sick in the head,
when ranking makes you un-stable:
most expensive car,
most craziest style,
most funkiest hair,
most hottest chick,
most coziest house,
most expensive jewelleries,
most socially active,
most drunkest driver,
most party crasher,
most grammy receiver...
        
It never stops
till your hand drops
and suddenly the light leaves your eyes
and your heart takes to retirement.
        
The flesh
forgets to carry with it
all it had acquired.
The Grave shuts the stink.

Drink up dear children, we have a long way to go. Tuck your hopes into these boots along with your pant legs; it will keep you warmer than the coziest fleece socks ever could.

Wear this wool with you until you hear the kettle cry. It will serve you well to stay within this wisdom.

These beaded braids breathe more than stories. I have enough wit within them for us all to share.

Take the time to tread in the springs before you leave. The sulfur does more than clear the sinuses.

Remember your name while you trek the ice and keep home in your heart as the salmon.

They cheered it in to the inn
It didn’t understand it was dazed
For nine months it was unused to din
Their celebrations left it amazed.
It was afloat in the coziest darkness
Fed on the fluid of its host
The light now brought tears to its face
And they welcomed it with a toast.
Thoroughly washed the cute little swan
Couldn’t fathom the new begotten space
Yet it sought the warmth of just one
Looked from many for one face!
Its face made her forget the tearing pain
In making way for the blob of her blood
Gushed out from her a joyous fountain
She was carried away in a torrential flood.

Silent winter nights enveloped in fog ...
Clouds Of smoke puffing out of the mouth,
& the only noise you hear is the cold breeze that whiffs past your skin sending a chill down your spine..reminding how cold a place this world can be..and not even being in the coziest rooms or bagging up in the warmest quilt can help..the heart, frozen cold.. the ashes from the embers of the  dying flame flies...all it wants is to be wrapped up in a warm hug to resurrect its faith in coziness of love..

and days like this
i miss you more
than any other.
in this cold
i could see your           breath
and our bodies
wouldbecloser.
for the warmth,
of course.
your glove fingers
wouldn't fit into
my mitten hands
so you would
put yours
in
my
pocket.
on days like this
i miss you more
than any other.
this time,
on
any other day
we would be
sipping       hot     hot
coffee
and making jokes
about our past.
we would
probably
make a fire
if we had remembered
to get wood.
if not,
we would gather
all the blankets
sleeping bags
and quilts
we owned
and would make
the greatest
coziest
blanket fort
on record.
days like that
are ones I miss.
and it's hard
that today is
not that day.

the lumberjack handles his axe
delicately
rolling it over in his fingers
like a gambler itching to make the bet
adrenaline saturating his sweat.

the anticipation lingers
until
a slight trace of malevolency
breaks free from his tips
parched for a place
to quench his needs
where no one succeeds.

the desire for release
achieved in complete ease
a snap!
and all your woes fade away
as your sanity dismantles into decay.

derived from the ever close disease
that sulks temptingly
behind the coziest fleece
that couldnt be banished
by even the sludgiest grease.

life would be better off
without its persistance
tugging at his cloth.


everyday shows a new way.

be smart about how you want to play.

while falling asleep and practicing being vulnerable
she came across her doublest of entendres:
the stone cold ***** had already made amends
but kept her flatline on low-profile
as to not relive &
as to not regret
    (so to speak, so to forget...)  
the lowlife suffered a pay rise      
and her stomach turned on its head,
the secrets to the feelings between them
were only audible in the coziest of beds
the peeping tom has been baffled
by the mesmerised gazes of her trustworthy men
the unexpected loving family was,
   in fact,
all hers to present in the end.

For you, my one and only,
I like you more and more,
the way your hand fits into mine,
and leads me to my classroom door.

For you, my one and only,
I'm falling more and more,
the coziest and tightest hugs,
I ever do adore.

For you, my one and only,
I love you more and more,
your tender, gentle kisses,
leave me wanting more.
(i.s.)

Starless sky and crestfallen clouds
has been weeping for days.

Gale as bleak as a sad symphony
passing through every now and then.

As the rain echoes in her hueless
room, she lays still with no  purpose.

Under the comforter, under dressed.
Coziest dreams, waiting to be dreamt.

Her cluttered mind slowly unraveling
as the wrathful sky kept on bellowing.

As each thoughts withdrew one by one,
She slowly felt like drifting away.

Tranquilizing rhythm of rain-
Natures lullaby.

That calm feeling that washes over me
while the sound of rain lulls me to sleep

The charge of light
As I gaze at the moon

The coziest snuggle
Like three extra layers

The sweet bite of chocolate
On my most painful of days

The relaxing ease
Of no wrong choices

The freedom to be
Whoever I want to be

A strong and sturdy tree
When I need shade and protection

I often say I Love You,
More than words could ever say

This is my feeble attempt,
If you ever need to know,
What you are to me.

One day I want to write sweet love letters again.
One day I want to find those words again.
One day I want to feel them again.
One day I want to not fear them again.
The world, the want, the person, the feelings.
I love you and I hate you.
But your memories are sad as suffocating as the most coziest blanket I’ve ever known.

You will always wrap/write my heart with our  past.

"To You in November"

Look at the stretches of the sky,
Look into the tiny pores of the falling rain.
The wind blows—cold and calm.
Where, between you and me, do our questions linger?

Defta, what role do you play in my life?
Rama, don’t make things complicated for me.
Defta, are we on the same page?
Rama, don’t let me down!

Love is sometimes complicated when you’re unprepared.
Love is sometimes sweet when both are ready.
Love is two souls meeting in a church.
Love is Defta and Rama, finally confessing everything.

Defta, every day, I almost know your whereabouts—
The path you take home,
The hospital where you find your strength,
Your home, the coziest place when you are weary.

Come closer to me.
Let’s talk about your burdens.
Isn’t sharing the weight a beautiful thing?
If you feel comfortable, make it real.

My love is etched in every gaze I give you,
Making me better with every breath I take.
My essence is loving you more than in those past days.
From the moment you first arrived, I loved you.

"My November blossoms with the feelings I have for you".

I have found Deogifta—God’s Gift.

Deogifta Graciani Lailossa🌻.

Its still the best place in the world
Where you can reach anytime, curled
It's as close as can be
It isnt much too far , you see!
It's where you can stay without a care
You could just walk in with feet bare.
Here is the one place where there is no fear
Where you find pure love, crystal clear..
Tis the warmest, most coziest place
You can reach it even with a covered face
You think of it whenever you cry
And the mere thought makes your tears dry
Its fragrance takes you back to yonder days
As if you had known it always..
Its lighting is oh so right
You cant but help hug tight..
The best part is , over there its always day..
a mother's caress.. is just a smile away...

The kymatology of your Gypsy amberjacked offended Federal Reserve Peyton Manning 5477 Yard degree **** Clark Tromboning like a Bandstand Grandstand Disguisean “Move it Move it” NSFW Music Video Flute Love in your Miles in the Stratosphere High Saturday Night Fever Moaning Intoxication in the Highest Heaven as your Deep Dish “Offing to Chic So Long Ago” Way out West remixed Egypt Pharoah Spells on the penetralia of my scrivello Elephant Slim Shady wholesome heart-thumping **** Cheney humpback Wall Street (1987) vibing latex roughshod strike-slip Outback Steakhouse kangaroo pouched galloping “Rimbaud Eyes” drooling with mascara Wedding Gown steam veiled by umbril Umbrellas Euphoric Jolt “Kicking in the Beat IT” regatta analogies fail is foolproof House of the Rising Sun Dr. House Inside Man Grand Central Terminal FDR “Harry Potter Business” revving you like a sleek Mercedes Benz Orange Julius Slurpee Occasion “crack shotting” Wild Wild West bumping “college dorm room” Business keen with your strongest acumen about licking my fingers in Coca Cola Mariani Wine hugging you so hard you sweat Midas vibes until the Traffic Jam in Your Seismotic Headbutt causes Greyhounds everywhere to get Flat Tires because of Roswell Style beyond stylish swirling like twirled ******* intertwined in impregnating engaged strangers following me lazily like Wizards chasing “Press Hop Part 2” NORAD pedigree Reindeereing your Coziest Christmas ***** whale as I “******* dolphrin” divinity Titanic Sinking Boston Massacre Fancy seven-mile corridor in Striptease ***** Dancing Torpedos against The Blockade by Fredo Fidel’s Fidelity to Flashbang Grenada Terpsichorean “Anti-Ducks” Ducking Your Juicy Slapstick Coy Fulgurant Soporific Benzene Paper Ring Oneiromantic Vitamultin Shock-and-Awesome Vibrant Fizzgig TNT Nuclear Freeze Frosty ICE Age whimsical Huxley Noble Savagery on your slurm-gasping flippant headflipping nose-pierced suffocating trampoline Stamp Act Insurrection against the Hercules Of my Mythos Magnified scorching Black Hole Sun holes so deep into your conscience you surrender The War of the Roses just to Behead Henry VIII For being a Twix PSY-Op Because he Couldn’t be a Daddy like an Excellent Iron Maiden “Royal Ugly Dude” too pissy that Queeny Love couldn’t give him a Diet Squirt on a Luxury Pirate Ship Headed to the Bermuda Triangle To ******* Amelia Earheart with Cal Ripken Longevity going Mach 3 into An Optative Plumb and Plumber McCain in the Membrane Asscrack Romance with A Beautiful Stranger rather than a Beautiful Mind Decorated for Christmas thousands of years before you were even borne of Goddesses malingering  ******* ironclad ramshackle Barry Bonds 73rd Home Run Frenzies into Beam Brooked Swampy “*** With Yourselves” Cattaneo Style In Heaven blasting cracklepop flippant rinkomaniac Gilmore Girls ******* Hasek Almighty Notorious brawling Yessir Sizzling Yassir Arafat Terrorism on windlasses winterkilled Cheyenne Coyote Howls of stark poetic stranded wilderness of livid lurid passionate MAGLEV Train *** darting at your bullseye Eye of the Tiger “You Can Tell A Woman’s Girl All Time Will Stalk” Because I’m always your Apollo G to the Answer to your Recursive Hot N Cold Hudson Bay Halifax Supersonic Durantula And One Professor Lewinskies a Cigar-Shaped UAPs yet Identified until we ******* the Federal Reserve Until A Vinegaroon Mothership Alien of the Century Bursts Cold as Ice until Drop Dead Gorgeous Janie Briggs Stops Vibrating Birthday Cakes in Front of the Clergy And Michael Bays the East Compton Wildcats Because it Lowers the Bar So Low Randy Newman Cracks Dependable Petroleum unleashing Xenu’s DC-8s flying out of the “Smack Bottom” of the Mariana Trench and Nicki Minaj’s Parody of White and Nerdy Goes Triple Diamond as we Ski on a Double Blackface Full ****** Steep ***** of Affair and Hockley Takes His Forty Fifth Notch and Supermans up on that *** and Says “It’s Payday Boys” “Ahhh Leave the ****** Dead!” and then US more then Them Catapults His *** Until He Has A Flesh Wound Jan Johnston Remix Until I Whipped Cream that Moisty *** ***** And Tell Him to Get his Crass Flimsy *** Back Down There And Then a Big Lebowski Kingpin Says “I’m Not a Chicken You’re a Turkey” and then Hockley (Yes the Same Hockley I am Dissing in this Draft) (The Wife Beater Domineering **** that Tried to Get Rose Dawson to Commit Suicide that Tried to **** the King of the World and Resulted in his Death Because He Scared Him Downstairs on the Titanic so he would get Hypothermia Faster Not Referring or Even Insinuating in the Slightest Way Any Known World Leader Including Xi who Deep Down is a Good Person but the CCP Forced His Hand because of Internal Politics and Benjamin Netanyahu has the right to be angry about Campbells Soup and the world turning Muslim) Gets Abducted by the Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles Having a Threeway with Alicia Chilianis and her even Sexier Clone in Heaven Watching him Get Rick Rolled by Kevin Hart’s 50 Tyson Video Until He Jerks off to Drumline After 3 Days After Saying Your “Gonna Have to Tie to me to a Tree” Jacking Off to Clerks 2 until Alanis Morrisette Descends on A Twirling Teleporting UFO Glistening in Pure Gold Like a Taco that Craps Ice Cream Using The Almighty Power of the Wizards of the Forest Transfigured by "Ol Smithy" The Greatest Pioneer "Just A Simple Blacksmith"s Ascent to Heaven Shape Shifting into Morgan Freeman with Seven Fingers as he Floats into Eteranal Salvation So Loud It Makes Twin Pines Mall Go Deaf Dumb and Blind While they are Playing Pinball and Drooling Over Coloring Books until Jagged Little Pills Laugh So Loud They Bro Down to the Qwersy Slum Tenement in the New Jersey that Needs a New Mascot! because Manbearpig has been exterminated by Al Capone’s Moonwalking Black Vitiligo Clone Shamoning “He He He” as He Does the Chris Tucker C4 Dance on the Castro District. Although Katy Kat You Know I Speak in Jest just to entertain your “Wildest Dreams” even if they are too wild to “Cherish” but because of Majestic 12 Thieves that seek to **** and destroy while I try to bring life in abundance (John 10:10) but I’ll play tender with your crystal heart gleaming brighter then Sirius zig-zag zooming blossom autumnal carapace endeavor at light speed like a Jimmy Neutron Star gaggled by Dexter’s Laboratory minatory Minotaur Understanding in a Car Crash exploding into Champagne Recursive Heavens of Hourglass Light of Love more than Lust Sprawling Sprauncy Sauna Steamboat Springs Down Under Safari Chewbacca Persiflage Gangbanging Jest and Jovial Trivial Pursuit Masterclass Seminal Salt-n-Peppa Progressive Lampoons Rustier than Frank Sinatra sobbing at GEICO’S Pinocchio Sarcastically Telling Him He Will Amount to Nothing More than an Andre Malek Fable Until You Cream Eidetic Daydreams Livid Everlong Warbled Spavined Cackles Too Tall for Indiana Jones But King Kong Ain’t Got Nothing on the Hung Sing-Sing Presley Cash Art Heist Brosnan Strawberry Swisher Jealousy Spartled Like a Jabberwocky Werewolf Suing Ted McKensie for Malpractice for Sweeping the Golden Globes And Chousing Him Even on the Days He Was a Wolf Because of Morrisette Duplicity in Nashville Dovetailed White Supremacists Cackling as Chapelle Tries to Do A Backflip on a Steamroller on a Short Bus Ramp trying to Jump 50 Blacks Like The Schwarz Dark Helmet Dared Him to Ghost Ride so that Terry Crew’s Induction to the KKK Flops Worse than Star Trek Beyond Vagisil Speed Bump ****** Hero Randy Marsh Magic Mormon Underpants Doing “Dance, Dance” Revolution Number 9 on Quaaludes Like Jonah Hill Torched by The End is Your Only Friend But Somewhere I Read About the Freedom of Assembly For Martin Luther King Jr. to **** The Adolf Butler Impostor Jackstaff Pretender QOSA White Guy That Ruined Miami Cuz “That Guy Robbed a B.I.G. Hospital, and I heard he had A ***** Stamp Too, I’m Like You’ve Gotta Be ******* Me But Check This Out Man The King of Austin Hill Judge Should be Like Guilt like Gravity Peace” (Think Bee Gees 1/12/2003 and Bill Paxton's Botched Heart Surgery) But Insane Clone Posse Galvanized by Oranges Peach Pears and Syringes Sexier When Godsmack Ain’t Pulling An Ice JJ Fish Celebrity **** Crash On Your Clairvoyant Spongy Bobstay Apple Pie Mushroom Blossom Sunflower Tears of Pure Bliss and Rapture of Pearly Whites Flirting With the Bounds of Heaven and Earth to Expand to Accommodate the Exodus of Purgatory into Heaven And We Got A Hummer Broadway Sleepless in Seattle Limousine To The Opening of New Shock-and-Awesome Jolting Luxury Salvation Canopied Forested Lush Condos On The Periphery Of Heaven As “There Was No More Sea”, And at that Moment We Clutched So Tightly We Were Willing To Die With A Smile Just To Witness Spangled Plenary Flapdoodle Fastuous Velivolant Hookipa Beach Until Your by PSY kickbacks Soar You Like a Kite Dodger Ducking Caledon’s Trigger Finger Envy As We Michael Phelps with your American Thighs and My Dolphin Tipped Gerald Sarcasm Fording the Red Sea it To Brazil And Party Like “Were Already Dead” on Copacabana Carnival Jellyfish Dinosauric Fossil Ampitheaters Thriving on “This is How We Do It” Abnegation Twisted Tea Long Island Montauk Project Radial Waves of Seismotic Euphoria Pulsating Through Time in Space Enchanting Distant Alien Civilizations until the End of Time and Space Groundhog Daying Until The Heavens Sigh Their Last Gasp of Joy Above and Beyond All Expectations Lived Over and Over Again As Partners Who Howl With the Devotion of the World’s Most Compassionate Pug Touched by an Angel Gazing into the Heart and Soul of True Love Zoomieing Around For 20 Minutes After I See You in My Soul Face to Face (No Song Intended) For the First of Many Times Cheering You On At Every Concert and Dancing Like Francois Dubois Packed up and Ready to Finally Ride Those Harleys in Hawaii on Our Most Special Electric Fortnight Because it Was Always My Teenage Dream to Have A Girl as Precious as You to Hold Close at Night And Glissade into Bliss at the Fireside Tabletop Mountaintop And Mine Eyes Have Seen Almost No One in World History as **** as Your Gestalt Rorsarch Impression on my Heart and I am desperate for any excuse in the world to choose you as my Queen!